Trina, this is so true: "Moving beyond what’s instinctual takes time, takes desire, takes perspectives..." I think I often try to imagine doing something hard all at once. When I can't imagine it, I jump to the conclusion that it's just not possible. If you have the desire, you need to be willing to give it some time to germinate and become something.

Meredith, you're right—not being able to let go of the anger, hurt and disappointment is a very real and mysterious issue. It seems like we'd love to let go of it, but if we've used it as a crutch for a while, we grow dependent on it, in unexpected ways. And you're right about this, too: You can't force it. It's really powerful that you were able to turn away from that hurt and create a life you could feel good about, which in turn allowed you to forgive and let go. Thanks so much for sharing your forgiveness experience with us!

Vered, I hear you. I honestly don't know if I could it either, especially when I think of how horrifying it would be to live through the genocide in Rwanda, and to face the very people who created the horror. I do know, though, that I've been able to take steps of forgiveness that I never would have thought possible—certainly not on the scale of people in Rwanda, but still situations that seemed too enormous to even begin climbing. So it makes me wonder what's possible, if each time I push myself a little farther...