Oh, you just so hit the nail on the head with your "I set the tone" observation. Honestly, this is the area in your blogs where I truly feel a kinship with you and strain my neck from the nodding. You have mentioned this before - how spontaneous parties are often better than the well-planned ones, etc. You and I both seem to have this "lower your expectations" notion, but I think it's more about allowing yourself to not be a total control freak and to not get worked up by chaos and frenzy. It's sort of like a riptide - when you stop trying to swim against it and just go with the flow you are able to survive and maybe even enjoy the ride! :)