Sam, you've touched on some of the things I've been thinking about, particularly when it comes to "acclimating" oneself to heaven: "A sort of in between place to let go of your human self, if need be, in order to make the transition to whatever glory there is for us with God." I have a hard time believing that Maricela is up there in the sky, just as happy as can be, rejoicing all day long. What I imagine is that she understands and feels sadness and pain, especially for her daughters, but that it is outweighed by God's goodness and love, and by her ability to finally grasp who God is, and see the big picture. Thank you for sharing your insights, and feeding mine.

Dave, there's just a whole lot of "I don't get it" in situations like this, isn't there? And from my experience, I've learned that we're not likely to get the hints we'd like. In fact, the moment I try to grasp what's going on, and make educated guesses, I'm usually wrong. Will we ever learn to rest in peace in our not-knowing?

Lisa, your mind works a lot like mine—when something bad happens, whether it's relatively small or something much bigger, like Maricela's death, I am desperate to find something positive to learn from it. At the same time, I don't want to downplay the utter senselessness of such a death. I want to be OK just being angry and sad. Maybe that's part of the grieving process—not even trying to learn something good from something bad, until more time passes. I think that's been my experience after my divorce. Now, five years later, I'm beginning to draw many lessons and insights from that difficult experience.