Can you try to explain your last paragraph more? Sounds profound but I am not clear if you are saying that no matter what you do you have the chance of being better for it or that if you don't confront your messes you are destined to be mediocre and false (or I am completely missing it).  Don't mean to be obtuse, just want to understand what you are saying. The mess only saves us if we have the courage to work through it?