I don't know about anyone else, but as a 27-year-old engaged Christian woman, when I stood back and took a look at the marriages that I admired, I realized something very scary: they were ALL second marriages. I am talking about people in my CHURCH. It really threw me for a loop - not because I judge anyone for divorce, but the last thing you want when you're beginning your own marriage is to entertain the notion that 'this may not last'. I remember thinking, "But I don't WANT a second marriage!" My comfort - after several conversations with people in said 2nd marriages - was my husband and I were both older - we were both 27 - and we had worked out a lot of issues. We'd broken up several times in our early twenties, and being in a relationship was not easy, but we had tremendous love for each other. Did we have premarital sex? Yes. With a considerable amount of guilt at times, though we didn't live together. I just couldn't do that to my parents. And honestly, I don't know if we would have survived living together without being married! I like to joke that the only reason we survived the first year of marriage was that we had separate bathrooms. But I am thankful that we were able to grow up, together, yet not while totally bound and responsible for each other, in the same way that we now are, with a household and a kid. We love our life. I am so glad that we were older when we made our commitment to each other. 

Reading the comments and discussion created here is so interesting. I just really believe that God, while He cares deeply for us, is not that concerned about what we do with our genitals. I could be wrong. I think we've twisted our own human preoccupation with sex into impossible rules and regulations. I refuse to raise my child with sexual guilt, for being a living, breathing HUMAN. I really like the idea of Songbird's Love Ethics. To think that sex is all or nothing, that having it before marriage dooms your relationship - I can't agree with that. But for those who make that choice, I respect them, and wish them well.