Melissa, I had a feeling this was a pretty universal feeling, for people who go to church and those who don't! I remember reaching a place as an adult (when I was in my 30s!) when I finally felt like I didn't really care what people thought. Actually, that turning point corresponds with my divorce, now that I think of it. But the reality is that I still can't completely shake that very human "cringe" factor. (If anyone is out there who really feels like they have, I'd love to hear about it!)

Dave, I really like this: "In actuality church and worship is all about pretending the Kingdom." We need all the practice we can get, which is probably one of the most important reasons we need to live and worship in community. It's also really good to know that this total acceptance and love we're striving for and struggling with now will be as natural in the Kingdom as breathing is here and now.

Meg, thanks for speaking up and sharing about the experience from your perspective! It's so fascinating to hear how the same scene I described looked and felt to you—a good reminder that we shouldn't project our own junk onto other people's experiences, eh? :) 

Violet, isn't it powerful when a single idea gets driven home in so many different ways, from different angles? I've had experiences like that, too—I can definitely say that's one of the ways God has been evident in my life. Can't imagine any other way all those messages could come together. (Also, I love your description of the "loosey-goosey atmosphere" and why it appeals to you!)

Christina, I hear you. Before moving to IL in 2001, I was a member of a church whose worship services were very structured around well-crafted liturgies and prayers, some old, some new. We stayed with the same liturgy and many of the same songs for an entire season at a time (Lent, Epiphany, etc.), so the words and actions became ingrained, and powerful in a different way. I don't think all churches that adhere to that style are perfectionists, but I do think it's easier to raise expectations and fall into patterns of predictability in such churches. 

Lorna, I've heard that story (or some version of it) many times at our church! I love it—it really does characterize the kind of community we are. And I think it characterizes people in general, too. How often can you spend an hour or two with a person and decide you pretty much have them figured out? So why would we want faith communities to be that one-dimensional?

Trina, in my life, the classic "seeing something through someone else's eyes" scenario usually involves watching a movie. Sometimes it's been with my parents, or maybe a new friend I don't know well, but suddenly the humor, sex scenes, violence, whatever seem so extreme. I can hardly just take in the movie as myself—I become sort of a conglomeration of the people in the room. (This, of course, is not the case when I see movies with my husband or close friends.)