Kristin,
I guess I am considering flipping the argument a bit on its head: What if the reason some people want "bad" things kept quiet (Don't ask don't tell) is not that they don't want to deny they exist, but they don't want to be "forced" to tell their own truths. In other words, don't let me see that you have a drinking problem or that you gamble because then I will be forced to actually make public my hidden judgments about you and right and wrong, and I prefer to appear nice and accepting. Until it's time to vote, that is.