Kristin,
Very thoughtful post.  Like you--and for similar reasons-- I don't write about the failure of my marriage either.  All of the good memories and lessons learned are a huge part of who I am today.  Your questions are very necessary in any relationship.  I think compatibility is tough in our current world because first you have to honestly know and love yourself so you can share authentically with someone else.  Today honest and authentic sometimes seem to be laughed upon rather than revered.  Love is amazingly beautiful and wonderful and magnifies life's blessings tremendously but there are so many 'issues" surrounding it, many people are almost too afraid to experience it.  Requires a vulnerability we are sometimes afraid to stand in (I say we, because admittedly my fears and insecurities still factor in at times!).  Thank you for giving us material to ponder:)