Emma, you make some good points about how and why sex is a different issue, both personally and culturally. And amen to this: "I wish people would stop writing other people’s love stories. God transcends our imaginations. If I meet Husband at 21, pray for us, drill us, counsel us, celebrate us, bless us. If I meet him at 62, ditto. And be there during the marriage, not just speculating before it."

C. Wess, this is one of those issues that's complicated because it's so deeply personal, yet our personal narratives are so rooted in church/faith/belief/community (if that's a part of our lives, that is). I'm glad you brought the role of the church (as community and theology) back into the discussion. This seems exactly right: "It’s here in these practices and theology that we need to develop, not simply hoping people will have self-control, or talk about stuff more, but actually put into daily practice the kinds of things we need to have marriages that are mutual and help make us holy."

Jennifer, I can see how my reference to alcoholism as a sin rubbed you the wrong way. I don't think I wrote that part as carefully as I should have. My wonderful mother-in-law has been sober for 20 years now, and I fully respect all that she's struggled with and admire all she has accomplished. Regarding what you said about your kids, I fully agree—the faith-fact combination is so important.

Hamish, thanks for all of your reading and thinking. :) Just knowing the wheels are turning in all of our minds is an exciting prospect, isn't it?