INSERT INTO `wp_d8mand_comments` (`comment_ID`, `comment_post_ID`, `comment_author`, `comment_author_email`, `comment_author_url`, `comment_author_IP`, `comment_date`, `comment_date_gmt`, `comment_content`, `comment_karma`, `comment_approved`, `comment_agent`, `comment_type`, `comment_parent`, `user_id`, `comment_subscribe`) VALUES
(5827, 464, 'Meredith', 'meridethdabek@hotmail.com', 'http://www.ordinarymer.com', '155.33.197.219', '2009-09-08 12:37:31', '2009-09-08 16:37:31', 'Kristin - fabulous! \r\n\r\nThe one thought I kept coming back to in my head when I was reading your post was: ignorance. While I think the word "ignorance" has a harsh sort of sound and has acquired a somewhat negative connotation, the basic idea is the same. \r\n\r\nWe fear what we don''t know, that which we''re ignorant about. For all of your examples listed above, I kept thinking, "if they just got to know x y or z, then it wouldn''t be scary." And I think there''s something to that. \r\n\r\nChildren going to school for the first time are afraid, but once they settle in, they lose their fear because what was once unfamiliar has become familiar. It''s hard to fear something that you know or someone you''re familiar with. It''s hard to be afraid of a culture, a lifestyle or a point of view once you''ve had the chance to get to know it. Once the unknown becomes known, it''s hard to fear it. \r\n\r\nI can only hope that some good old-fashioned learning can help bridge the gaps that exist between those who would incite fear and those who have learned not to fear. \r\n\r\n(Side note: that Nation article made me shudder. Very frightening.)', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.13) Gecko/2009073022 Firefox/3.0.13', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(5881, 466, 'ejly', 'eva.lyford@gmail.com', 'http://www.ejly.net', '168.215.91.130', '2009-09-10 15:34:50', '2009-09-10 19:34:50', 'I''m sorry to hear of this development. But that''s why there''s so many publishers; if one says no, you can check with another. Most famous authors report compiling stacks of rejection letters before having works accepted for publication. For inspiration, check out: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=14453550\r\n\r\nAnd it seems to me like this editor you''re dealing with may not have the vision to compete in a changing landscape, but surely others do.\r\n\r\nStrength comes from within; don''t let a setback change your opinion of how much potential you have.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.1.2) Gecko/20090729 Firefox/3.5.2', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(5882, 466, 'Wendy', 'wendymwetzel@gmail.com', 'http://www.livingtheepilogue.com', '76.235.203.184', '2009-09-10 15:55:43', '2009-09-10 19:55:43', 'I know from having worked in publishing (and now freelance editing) that breaking through is hard and it often seems like the schlock makes it while the good stuff languishes. But I also know that lesser writers than you have hit the right words at the right moment and made it through. You''ve got the gift, so don''t give up (as if you could ever stop writing anyway, right?). Ejly is right--keep looking for another editor (or agent) who will believe in you and find a way.\r\n\r\nI promise to buy your book, full price, from a local independent bookstore, when the day comes. : )', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-US; rv:1.9.0.14) Gecko/2009082707 Firefox/3.0.14 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(5558, 449, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2009-08-26 16:08:25', '2009-08-26 20:08:25', 'Jay, I''m glad there were lots of behind-the-scenes friends like you to pull that fun wedding off. Thanks for stopping by my blog!\r\n\r\nVal, as someone who has known Carmen since you were teenagers, you must have a more linear perspective on watching Carmen-the-adult come into being. (If her life was a movie, my viewing would have all the flashback segments!) Either way, it''s Carmen''s ability to be true to who she is that we all love, and any friend of hers is truly a friend mine. It was so good to meet you, too!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.13) Gecko/2009073021 Firefox/3.0.13', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(3002, 353, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2009-05-21 00:20:18', '2009-05-21 04:20:18', 'Blackwasp19, we miss you too! Things are going well at church, but it''s interesting to note how my definition of what it means for things to "go well" has changed the past few years. :) It''s much less about perfection and more about the Pilgrim''s Progress.\r\n\r\njenx67, yeah, repelling polarization is such a great idea, but a seemingly impossible reality. At least we can be very conscious and deliberate about our ideal, even if we don''t get it exactly right. (Hey, there''s that recurring theme!)', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.10) Gecko/2009042315 Firefox/3.0.10', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(4017, 387, 'Daisy', 'okaybyme@gmail.com', 'http://compostermom.blogspot.com', '75.62.43.76', '2009-06-25 11:32:42', '2009-06-25 15:32:42', 'I''m happily married and hope to remain so, but I still plan to by this book. It sounds so, so valuable. Maybe some day I''ll meet you and your co-authors, and then I''ll be able to hear your voices as I read!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 7.0; Windows NT 6.0; WOW64; SLCC1; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; Media Center PC 5.0; .NET CLR 3.5.30729; .NET CLR 3.0.30618)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(5874, 464, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '98.222.57.133', '2009-09-10 11:34:12', '2009-09-10 15:34:12', 'jenx67, that feels to me like a spirit-guided observation. It is, after all, the spirit that brings us peace that passes understanding. It''s the spirit that can break through the scary stuff, get inside us, then emanate from within.\r\n\r\nTrina, this is definitely one of the things that gets in the way of love: "...constantly having to protect ourselves from bitterness, judgment etc." Very true. \r\n\r\nDave, gosh you are all so wise! Yes, we don''t want to change our way of thinking about something. Not only is it too much work, but it has a domino effect, which often means we have to then adjust others ways of thinking. It''s like trying to do some minor house repair, like fix a couple of tiles in the shower, and before you know it, you have to tear them all out, repair the plumbing, put up new cement board and re-tile the whole thing! Makes us want to ignore the two loose tiles, doesn''t it?', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.13) Gecko/2009073021 Firefox/3.0.13', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(4499, 411, 'Rhonda', 'apodacasue@yahoo.com', '', '76.251.219.36', '2009-07-10 13:25:47', '2009-07-10 17:25:47', 'It is interesting how over the years, as we mature,how our perspective on things change. Even as adults, though, we all still tend to make judgments that are not entirely based on the true essence of others reality. How can anyone really know someone''s truth, especially when we all usually attempt to hide it so deeply? Look at our current world "financial crisis", the clear over spending of the masses and simple greed.  While many of these people are losing their massive homes and their luxury cars, because they really could not afford them in the first place, there are the rest of us that are simply trying to "keep our heads above water" even when living within our means. I suppose, in many ways, THIS is what you are also writing about today. Life is a series of choices, including how you will spend your money. I tend to deny myself too much, and end up feeling "removed" because of it. Good for you (and the girls) that you chose wisely, my dear.  You are a smart woman.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-US; rv:1.9.0.5) Gecko/2008120122 Firefox/3.0.5 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(2522, 343, 'Randi', 'foreignquang@gmail.com', 'http://foreignquang.blogspot.com', '71.4.75.130', '2009-05-05 21:15:57', '2009-05-06 01:15:57', 'School is out for the summer (I''m a teacher,) and I have been feeling the itch to go walking again.  I''ve had a couple of friends mention that we should go walking this summer and after reading this post, I''m going to put thoughts into action.  You see so much more when walking than you do when zooming past in a car.\r\n\r\nI''ve gotten so spoiled as an adult. In high school, I had to walk eight blocks to the bus station after school, then after getting off the bus, I had another seven blocks to walk to my house. Did it every day. In college I walked a mile every day from the campus to my home because I could get there faster than if I had waited for the bus. Now?  I take the car to my friend''s house 2 blocks away.\r\n\r\nThanks for the push...', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.10) Gecko/2009042316 Firefox/3.0.10', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(4504, 411, 'jessica', 'bernzee@mac.com', 'http://bernthis.com', '75.3.241.141', '2009-07-10 15:34:31', '2009-07-10 19:34:31', 'i finally asked myself a question:  How much stuff do I need? I am totally with you one hundred percent. Get those tickets. You are so so so right. Who cares what you eat while you watch. Your kids won''t remember, trust me.  I have changed so much since my career went down the toilet that won''t stop flushing, if you don''t mind the pun. I have really changed my tune about a lot of things.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.1) Gecko/2008070206 Firefox/3.0.1', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(7458, 552, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2010-01-14 14:26:44', '2010-01-14 18:26:44', 'The winner is Luci! Congratulations!\r\n\r\nI want to urge everyone who was hoping for a Flock membership to find a way to set aside some money and at least give it a try. Free is nice, but when you think of what we spend money on, and how so much of it doesn''t really impact our well-being, it''s worth it! \r\n\r\nI also wanted to again welcome everyone who wandered over to Halfway to Normal for the first time via this giveaway. I hope you''ll become a regular part of our community here, too. You can sign up for posts via email, subscribe with an RSS feed, or become a fan on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/pages/Halfway-to-Normal/92902118213?ref=ts\r\n\r\nAnd finally, a big thanks to Magpie Girl for this great opportunity!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.16) Gecko/2009120206 Firefox/3.0.16', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(7064, 544, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2009-12-15 12:22:13', '2009-12-15 16:22:13', 'Laura, I remember when this realization began to dawn on me. It had a lot to do with the moment I saw how completely different my two girls are. I don''t know why I expected otherwise—maybe because they''re both girls? But anyway, it was very eye-opening when I began to recognize their differences and see how they would need different things from me.\r\n\r\nMeredith, you''re probably right (not that I needed another complexity to consider!). Sometimes I ask the girls about life at their dad''s house—just simple things like how they get along with each other (as sisters) there, and if they deal with some of the same issues. But I agree, it''s OK for them to need and get different things from the different people they love. \r\n\r\nSam, that''s a good question—a house full of boys. Hmmm. I can''t even imagine it. In some ways it might be easier because they''re not as emotional in general, but in other ways that might mean there''s lots more guessing. I kind of prefer the "pouring it all out" style, even if it''s emotionally wrenching in the moment.\r\n\r\nTrina, I''m so sorry it''s a tough parenting time for you, but I''m glad you don''t feel alone, and am so glad you opened up here. That helps all of us. You didn''t "hijack" the post at all! The post isn''t supposed to be about me, after all, it''s supposed to be about all of us who experience "the rewarding, magical, if trying world of parenting."\r\n\r\nDave, you have a houseful of hearts and minds needing your care, don''t you? Do you have any strategies to share with the rest of us? Or any insights about boys vs girls? I''m glad you pointed out getting priorities lined up—I''m daily trying to find that balance—and I love that your kids support each other, too. That''s a sure sign that you are modeling much more than an orderly house.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.15) Gecko/2009101600 Firefox/3.0.15', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(6864, 538, 'Gen', 'genny_charet@ameritech.net', 'http://thealchemistblog.wordpress.com', '69.211.51.23', '2009-11-30 15:20:49', '2009-11-30 19:20:49', 'Excellent points.  Great minds must think alike--I just posted about anticipation!  Well, more like expectations.  And mine is about cookie exchanges and a giveaway, so...substantially less deep material.  ;D\r\n\r\nI really like that you mentioned not having a date for when you''ll stop feeling hurt over the past.  That really, really struck a chord with me.  I''ve been told before to "decide" to be over them, but it''s just not as simple as all that.  Or is it?  Perhaps I should try, and just decide that from now on, I''m just not allowed to dwell on those hurts because I''ve intentionally dropped them?  \r\n\r\nGood stuff...', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_6_1; en-us) AppleWebKit/531.9 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0.3 Safari/531.9', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(4023, 387, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '67.101.8.16', '2009-06-25 14:58:19', '2009-06-25 18:58:19', 'Lorna, yes it was completely worth the trials of getting here! And you''re right—it is very much like the different ways we learn. I''ve always thought I was a visual learner more than an audio-focused learner, and in many ways that fits my experience at the reading: seeing these women, and the expressions on their faces, probably moved me more deeply than hearing their voices.\r\n\r\nTJ, that''s a really interesting observation, particularly when we reconnect with old high school and college friends on Facebook. In some ways we are connecting in the *now,* and in other ways we are stuck in the past—whenever it was that we last saw each other. And your question about common experience vs. the right setting? I do think it''s both. For example. I don''t think experiencing divorce was a prerequisite for connecting with the stories shared at our reading.\r\n\r\njenx67, I don''t know exactly what you''re wow-ing, but all I can say is: :)\r\n\r\nTrina, I love the various "theres" that you pulled together in your comment. That movement from "here" to "there," and that understanding of where we are and where we''re headed is at the heart of so much of our life''s work, isn''t it? We''re in the midst of a journey, indeed.\r\n\r\nSwallner, thank you, and thanks for your support from afar!\r\n\r\nCeline, I''m glad you wandered by Halfway to Normal and left a comment. Thanks!\r\n\r\nDaisy, after the reading, I was talking to my brother about how the stories related (or didn''t) to someone who''s never been married or divorced. We had a really interesting conversation about the themes that run through all of our lives—what do we love, what makes us happy and content, how do we envision our ideal lives, etc—and how surprised he was by how caught up in the stories he became. I think you will enjoy the book, even from within a happy marriage!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.10) Gecko/2009042315 Firefox/3.0.10', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2524, 343, 'Cheryl Ensom Dack', 'roseyposeyclothes@yahoo.com', 'http://www.roseyposeyconfections.blogspot.com', '99.146.81.16', '2009-05-05 21:48:32', '2009-05-06 01:48:32', 'Kristin! :) I do both...walking with friends and also running alone. I love BOTH...and for different reasons. The running (alone) has the interesting effect of making me highly aware of my body, which somehow helps me "feel" more. I think it''s that there''s nothing else to distract from my own feelings? Sometimes this means I feel teary but rather than crying, I run harder/faster when I feel that way, which is just as cathartic as tears, if not more. Walking with friends has become a really great way to connect and talk with friends. So I enjoy both!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.1; SV1; FunWebProducts; .NET CLR 1.0.3705; .NET CLR 1.1.4322; Media Center PC 3.1; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; yplus 5.1.04b)', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(2998, 355, 'Blackwasp19', 'joshuacanada@gmail.com', 'http://www.blackwasp19.wordpress.com', '99.20.197.119', '2009-05-20 23:09:10', '2009-05-21 03:09:10', 'I love the idea of co-working space, especially for someone who writes for a living (non-"academic"). As you, I love to venture out to the local coffee shop. For me the noise and the action is invigorating it helps move thoughts from head to fingers. What is difficult however is the likelihood I will encounter someone I know, especially in a small town like Huntington. Although I welcome their presence deadlines, publisher and professors do not take into account the wonderful conversation I had about the the sociology of dietary behavior - it was a good conversation about chitterlings and pig feet.    \r\n\r\nI am blessed to have a park outside the window of our apartment. I can gaze at the creek and grassy hills and find clarity in thoughts. It is a blessing to be in the midst of a research paper and to look out and find the peace of God''s creation.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.10) Gecko/2009042316 Firefox/3.0.10', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2999, 355, 'Blackwasp19', 'joshuacanada@gmail.com', 'http://www.blackwasp19.wordpress.com', '99.20.197.119', '2009-05-20 23:28:06', '2009-05-21 03:28:06', 'Sorry, I had a higher education thought. \r\n\r\nDo you know of any adjunct professors who utilize this? I could see it being especially beneficial for community college professors who are not given offices on campus, but run in to the same distractions/lack of space at home and at coffee shops.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.10) Gecko/2009042316 Firefox/3.0.10', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2991, 355, 'Emma', 'emily@cafegilliam.net', 'http://cafegilliam.net/', '69.153.196.48', '2009-05-20 18:38:02', '2009-05-20 22:38:02', '"I don’t know if it’s the romantic in me or the practical in me—the Jane Austen or the Virginia Woolf—but I’ve always clung to the idea of a special place where the magic happens."\r\n\r\nLove this sentence! It reminds me of my new favorite novel, Love Walked In. As a mom of two preschoolers, I go to cafes to be alone: usually to write, occasionally to read. I relate to the music bit; too-loud/too-funky music can be so disappointing! Yea for Your Office!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.10) Gecko/2009042316 Firefox/3.0.10', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(6559, 514, 'Margo Dill', 'margodll@aol.com', 'http://margodill.com/blog/', '97.88.197.225', '2009-10-26 10:36:10', '2009-10-26 14:36:10', 'Thanks for sharing this information. I didn''t know anything about these ads, but find them very interesting and a bit weird actually. When I first read it, I was thinking it was an ad by a church. It could be read that way--like are you sure you are okay without God? Maybe not!  I love your suggestions. There is just no black and white when it comes to this subject, and that''s what makes it so interesting. Maybe you can put up your signs in the bus stations in IL! :) Thanks again for sharing, Margo', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-US; rv:1.9.1.3) Gecko/20090824 Firefox/3.5.3 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2519, 343, 'Blackwasp19', 'joshuacanada@gmail.comw', 'http://ww.blackwasp19.wordpress.com', '99.181.226.123', '2009-05-05 17:47:32', '2009-05-05 21:47:32', 'Alyssa and I love walks together. It is a time to unwind and contemplate with one another. One beautiful aspect of walking is that fact it meets us both where we need to be. Doing something helps me talk, although I love coffee shop conversations they are less natural than conversation in the midst of movement. Being quiet helps Alyssa talk, it is not the walking that is of great benefit, but the time to be quiet and and allow thoughts to simply emerge. \r\n\r\nAs we have children, walking is something we also intend to be a family practice - hopefully with a doggy. We have a retirement nunnery near us - a mile - that offers a beautiful place to walk and meditate.  It is a wonderful thing.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.10) Gecko/2009042316 Firefox/3.0.10', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(6560, 512, 'Lance', 'lance@jungleoflife.com', 'http://www.jungleoflife.com/', '12.175.154.114', '2009-10-26 11:51:36', '2009-10-26 15:51:36', 'Merideth,\r\nThank you!  The image of that fog settling in on that evening is still so vivid for me, here a full month after it happened.  A very moving experience.  And yes, the ocean does seem very connecting with many.  It''s a mix of power and calm...and I know, too, that the ocean has a strong pull for me as well.  Thank you for visiting and commenting!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.1.3) Gecko/20090824 Firefox/3.5.3 GTB5 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(4025, 387, 'Emma', 'emily@cafegilliam.net', 'http://cafegilliam.net/', '69.153.196.48', '2009-06-25 16:27:59', '2009-06-25 20:27:59', 'This is such a beautiful post. It makes me want to pick up the new book!  -- Congratulations on its arrival! I love stories, too. My favorite song, if there had to be a top-favorite, is Walk With Me, sung by Caedmon''s Call. It''s about Psalm 23, but fluid and appropriate for today. The second verse begins, "Tell me the story / When all was made new...." \r\n\r\nAnd thank you for your kindness and encouragement in responding the other day. You''ve been insightful and considerate, and you have good parenting experience that I''m still building. Today I spoke with the principal, who answered all my concerns, putting me completely at ease. What an emotional time this has been!\r\n\r\nMy 4-year old came up to me just now and said, "You know, books can have wings. And books can fly." Who knows what he''s talking about (a cartoon drawing?), but it somewhat fits with your post here, and the power of shared stories.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.11) Gecko/2009060215 Firefox/3.0.11', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(2268, 322, 'Meagan Francis', 'meaganfrancis@yahoo.com', 'http://www.meaganfrancis.com', '76.29.112.250', '2009-04-12 23:28:22', '2009-04-13 03:28:22', 'I am very interested in the Jewish holidays and I think it''s great that you celebrate them despite the obvious obstacles! I actually had almost the opposite problem last year. We moved into an area of the city with a huge Jewish population. Our upstairs neighbor was an orthodox Jew and every Friday night we could listen to his family celebrating Shabbat (major holidays were quite an event up there!) I wanted so badly to get a closer peek into a Jewish family''s home during the sabbath or a holiday observation, but the Jewish community there was tight-knit and I always felt like I was far too much of an outsider to be invited in. So I just craned my ear and tried to pick up as much as I could through the floorboards. Maybe I should be bolder and try to strike up a conversation with one of the orthodox moms at the park sometime. At least we have the "lots of kids" thing in common! (I got a lot of double-takes, walking through the neighborhood pregnant with four kids trailing behind me...and yet NOT dressed in a long black skirt!)', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032608 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(6636, 518, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2009-11-02 00:53:20', '2009-11-02 04:53:20', 'Robin, thank you! That''s a great compliment, coming from a mother and teacher. I think what''s interesting about all of this is that I never felt drawn to kids or like I knew how to be around them until after I had my own. I think the wonder of seeing things through their eyes was the key to really connecting with kids—even those who aren''t my own. \r\n\r\nMeredith, yes, those things we think we already know all about are the things that are most fun to re-discover from a kid''s point of view. The "why" question can get old if you have a two-year-old, but for the rest of the world, I don''t think we ask it often enough. (Don''t be nervous about your guest post—everyone will welcome your perspective!)\r\n\r\nTrina, your elderly neighbors seem to have a great setup worked out. You bring up another whole dimension: how important it is for young people to interact with people a couple of generations removed. Our society isn''t nearly as intentionally  intergenerational as it should be. I''m really thankful both of my grandmas are still alive (in their 90s!) because it gives my girls opportunities to spend time with people who have lived through so much of what we consider history. And of course my grandmas love being around kids.\r\n\r\nsuzen, my parents both taught throughout their careers, so I know how much work it is—and how enlightening and rewarding it can be. When I was a teenager, my mom used to often tell us stories during dinner of the different insightful and funny things her students would ask and observe. So priceless.\r\n\r\nDave, the whole idea of giving kids a chance to share what they''re thinking, without worrying of being judged or laughed at, is so important. Think of how much we miss when we seem too busy, or when we don''t tend to take kids seriously. And I love how your literal point of view as a photographer becomes a perfect metaphor for our interactions with kids. Empathy—yes!\r\n\r\nNicola, once again, you and I have much in common! I''d have to say, as a natural conversationalist myself, that I enjoy that aspect of parenting more than just about any other, too. You bring out the dynamic perfectly here: "...it’s been challenging and rewarding to figure out how to answer her questions thoughtfully and truthfully." All of these conversations you''re having with her now are preparing you for the tougher ones to come. You''ll do great.\r\n\r\nJeb, it''s good to see you again! I''m not surprised you''re back with a hard question, either. :) "Do you think there will come a day when we value wonder/imagination/curiosity sufficiently to foster them all of our days?" I don''t know. It seems like some adults do a pretty good job of valuing those things in their everyday lives—does that mean they''ve figured out the secret, or do they just have personalities that are wired in that particular way? Maybe it wouldn''t be possible for everyone, as a society, to *embrace* "wonder/imagination/curiosity," but there certainly could be more societal respect and reward for those things.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.14) Gecko/2009082706 Firefox/3.0.14', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(6637, 516, 'Michelle', 'michelle.n.acker@gmail.com', 'http://adventures-in-the-everyday.blogspot.com/', '98.108.216.214', '2009-11-02 04:23:26', '2009-11-02 08:23:26', 'Kristin-- Thank you. As someone who is single and hopes to me married one day, sometimes I feel envious or left out when it seems that most of my friends are all married.  But I appreciate your honesty and perspective--your questions and thoughts remind me that it is worth waiting for. I am going to save this post and make sure that I can whole-heartedly and individually answer these questions before I enter into a committed relationship with someone else : ) Thanks!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; PPC Mac OS X 10.4; en-US; rv:1.9.1.3) Gecko/20090824 Firefox/3.5.3', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(2978, 355, 'TJ Hirst', 'tj@tjhirst.com', 'http://www.tjhirst.com/', '71.217.177.194', '2009-05-20 13:23:26', '2009-05-20 17:23:26', 'I love your thoughts on how a space helps us work, or not. Thanks for taking me on this beautiful walk through your thought process straight to your new office. I have great space in a loft overlooking our living room and out some big windows. But some of those same traps of mixing home and work hit me sometimes, too.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.10) Gecko/2009042316 Firefox/3.0.10', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2979, 355, 'Rebecca', 'rlthorman@gmail.com', 'http://modite.com/blog', '69.128.50.90', '2009-05-20 13:24:28', '2009-05-20 17:24:28', 'This is so cool and I think a booming business - I''ve been wanting one of these spaces forever in downtown Madison (especially when I used to work out of coffee shops a lot at my last job). Hope the co-working goes well!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-US; rv:1.9.0.10) Gecko/2009042316 Firefox/3.0.10', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2980, 355, 'Jason', 'brechinj@gmail.com', 'http://www.cleverfoodblog.com', '141.142.232.38', '2009-05-20 14:01:05', '2009-05-20 18:01:05', 'You''ve made me realize that buying a decent desk for my daughter was neither a waste of space nor money, as she does use it all the time for (school) work and fun stuff.  I think she finds the same inspiration you do in having a dedicated space for writing and drawing.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.10) Gecko/2009042316 Firefox/3.0.10 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(6548, 512, 'Laurie', 'lhenrylhenry@yahoo.com', '', '99.168.97.12', '2009-10-24 11:45:30', '2009-10-24 15:45:30', 'Lance, this was beautifully written.  Well done. \r\nNature....I am in awe of it from the tiny to the enormous.  I have both a microscope and a telescope.  I am giddy when I watch the critters dancing in the pond water under my scope and I am overwhelmed at the power of the moons, planets, and stars for us to gaze upon.  \r\nWhen I connect with nature, I connect with its Creator.  Being surrounded by creation pulls my heart out of my chest and puts me in a place where worship is the only appropriate response.  Our God is creative beyond our imaginations.  The whole earth does declare his Glory doesn''t it?', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 8.0; Windows NT 5.1; Trident/4.0; GTB6; .NET CLR 1.1.4322; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; .NET CLR 3.0.04506.30; .NET CLR 3.0.04506.648; .NET CLR 3.5.21022; .NET CLR 3.0.4506.2152; .NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(6549, 512, 'Mary Thompson', 'maryamandathompson@gmail.com', 'http://maryisawesome.com', '69.131.63.34', '2009-10-24 13:12:21', '2009-10-24 17:12:21', 'Wonderful post Lance!  I love the top of a mountain, the space so far above everything else it doesn''t seem real or part of this world.  It''s a beautiful thing to be above it all looking down, especially on a sunny clear day.  You feel so connected to everything.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.6; en-US; rv:1.9.0.14) Gecko/2009082706 Firefox/3.0.14', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(6550, 512, 'Diane AZ', 'MooCowBell@aol.com', 'http://http://desertcolors.blogspot.com/', '98.225.100.151', '2009-10-24 15:54:52', '2009-10-24 19:54:52', 'Lance, Your “settling of the fogâ€ does sound magical. One thing I love in nature is Petrichor, the scent of rain on dry earth.  Here in the desert where the ground is very dry and it rains so infrequently, the air smells wonderful when it does rain.  That fragrance feels like "home" to me.  Though "home" doesn''t mean any particular place, just a feeling that everything is as it should be.  But the sky is also a lovely and readily available reminder of how everything is connected.  And I don''t even have to look at the sky in order to feel its peacefulness.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.1.3) Gecko/20090824 Firefox/3.5.3 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(6916, 540, 'Dave Thurston', 'dave@orangeshirtguy.com', 'http://www.orangeshirtguy.com', '24.223.179.5', '2009-12-05 11:06:17', '2009-12-05 15:06:17', 'Really like today''s silhouette.  Isn''t it great how easy it is for a child to show/share simple joy?  And for everyone to be able to see it.  There is a love list addition, "Being able to be filled with joy when I''m able to notice it around me."\r\n\r\nOh and those draughts, and doubts, and that darn lack of sunlight for much of the day.\r\n\r\nI was in South Africa a few years ago and worked in a small township village type thing.  After I left, I remember thinking, "I wish that I had a button to push to capture the feeling around this place."  Kind of a centering-button to make me remember what is important, what is mental-crap, and to help me turn the corners of my mouth up.\r\n\r\nThe solution is somewhere between Dogs and the Happy-Yelling-at-the-Local-Playground.  Oh, and perhaps a good book and a good conversation, too.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_6_2; en-us) AppleWebKit/531.21.8 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0.4 Safari/531.21.10', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(6918, 540, 'Meredith', 'meridethdabek@hotmail.com', 'http://www.ordinarymer.com', '68.9.99.192', '2009-12-05 14:51:57', '2009-12-05 18:51:57', 'I, too, love it when other people put into words what I''m trying to say, as you''ve done here with this post. I can completely understand where you''re coming from - with so much competing for our attention, esp. at this time of year, it''s hard to settle down and find that place within us that has all those creative, inspired words we want to say. \r\n\r\nI''ll say an extra prayer that you find some balance, if only for your sanity.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.4; en-US; rv:1.9.1.5) Gecko/20091102 Firefox/3.5.5', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(6313, 497, 'Jennifer', 'jlewis@presbyws.org', 'http://www.anorientationofheart.blogspot.com', '75.18.70.254', '2009-10-09 09:40:57', '2009-10-09 13:40:57', 'Wow! What great questions you asked to evoke such a wonderful post!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 8.0; Windows NT 5.1; Trident/4.0; GTB6; .NET CLR 1.1.4322; InfoPath.1; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; .NET CLR 3.0.04506.30; .NET CLR 3.0.04506.648; .NET CLR 3.0.4506.2152; .NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2982, 355, 'jenx67', 'jenx67@cox.net', 'http://www.jenx67.com', '68.227.97.30', '2009-05-20 14:41:30', '2009-05-20 18:41:30', 'Trying to find workable freelance space is so hard. There seems to be nothing but space in my house, but none that is not inhabited by a TV blaring, a kid playing, I love the sounds of childhood, but juggling family and freelance is so hard. I''ve actually thought about hanging it up until the little ones are in school. It is so stressful trying to complete assignments. I''ve often wished for a virtua-literal office like what you''ve described. What a blessing. Enjoy! I''m glad you shared about it.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 7.0; Windows NT 6.0; SU 3.22; SLCC1; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; Media Center PC 5.0; .NET CLR 3.0.04506; InfoPath.2)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2109, 310, 'karendaisy17', 'karennachbar@yahoo.com', '', '68.173.74.168', '2009-03-29 01:52:46', '2009-03-29 05:52:46', 'KT, I hope you''re recovering!  I feel badly (and perhaps partially responsible?) that you''re so wiped out from it.  I have similar feelings any time I''m in a big city that''s not my own - pounding the pavement, figuring out where you are and where you''re going, and negotiating crowds takes its toll.  You are so right about the home base thing - having an apartment to come back to that''s all mine and quiet recharges me and gives me the energy to go back out there.  It is surely not an easy place to live at times. \r\n\r\nNext time you''re here, Brooklyn over Times Square, and we''ll get you a compass.  Knowing where all the public restrooms are helps too.  I''m just a text message away :)', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_5_6; en-us) AppleWebKit/525.27.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/3.2.1 Safari/525.27.1', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(6323, 497, 'Ben K', 'bkessler@graphics.com', '', '38.126.129.222', '2009-10-09 16:00:45', '2009-10-09 20:00:45', 'Awesome and inspiring post, Carmen! I remember some of the places you mention from my brief visits to Iowa City. "Outsized in its wholesomeness" is a perfect phrase to describe the place.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.8.1.20) Gecko/20081217 Firefox/2.0.0.20', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(6324, 497, 'Val', 'pearcyv@gmail.com', '', '66.90.205.99', '2009-10-09 16:22:07', '2009-10-09 20:22:07', 'Bravo, Carmen. I remember your time in Iowa as when we got to become the truly close friends we remain today. Your experience there, like mine in Massachusetts (and all its ups and downs), gave us even more in common. \r\n\r\nI love the image of you walking like your Dad and all the new flavors of that experience I''d never heard you put quite this way.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_5_8; en-us) AppleWebKit/531.9 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0.3 Safari/531.9', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(6937, 541, 'Dave', 'dsm358032308@gmail.com', 'http://davesfaithblog.blogspot.com', '69.1.32.20', '2009-12-07 04:57:28', '2009-12-07 08:57:28', 'Kristin,\r\nYou''ve come across the spark that makes seeing glimpses of the Kingdom possible! In actuality church and worship is all about pretending the Kingdom. Just as little children playing house learn about life, we "play" Kingdom to learn about the Life we are called to. ("Beyond Maintenance to Mission," Craig Nessan)  But as adults we take things so seriously. Your friend Brian was given the gift of recognizing we are also called to play with Jesus! I still get comfort from this blog I wrote quite a while ago, <a href="http://davesfaithblog.blogspot.com/2008/04/laughter-as-prayer.html" rel="nofollow">Laughter as Prayer</a>. Enjoy, and go play!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.2; en-US; rv:1.9.1.5) Gecko/20091102 Firefox/3.5.5 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(7313, 551, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2010-01-06 11:44:36', '2010-01-06 15:44:36', 'Jennifer, it can be really nice to NOT be unique, can''t it? :) I''m very happy to not be unique when it comes to depression. This advice you gave feels just right, too: "One thing I’ve learned is when those short, intense moments of depression come, don’t fight it." To fight wildly against something we can''t beat (at least not in that way) only wears us out and makes us feel even more defeated. Thanks for your ongoing support, friend.\r\n\r\nTrina, yes, sharing can be so hard, but so helpful. We are very odd creatures, when it comes to what we choose to be "strong" about (or at least pretend we''re strong about). You''ve been such an important, reliable part of this supportive community—thank you.\r\n\r\nJeb, this is SO true—especially the second part of it: "For me, sharing a secret feels like releasing a burden. Not just the secret itself, but the assumptions I have about how others will react to it." My assumptions about how others will react are on some sort of speed. It''s ridiculous. I''m going to have to figure out how to calm those monsters down, more regularly. (And your last comment made me laugh out loud. CLEARLY I''m human! I''m just an extra wordy human. :)\r\n\r\nKirstin, thanks for sharing your experience with depression, from the perspective of a spouse. It sounds like your family learned a lesson that will positively impact you the rest of your life. How wonderful it is to be "far from alone in wrestling with depression and its related fall-out." (And now that we''ve reconnected, we should meet for coffee or lunch some time!)\r\n\r\nSam, YES! What is it about depression that makes us so strange and illogical about treatment? I''m so glad your pregnancy evened things out for you rather than doing the opposite, and that you shared about it here. I certainly don''t want people to think that having a baby is the beginning of the end. :) In fact, I was thinking about that particular baby of mine, and how for the first year of her life she often felt like the only good and happy thing in our home. Everything else seemed to be falling apart, but she embodied the peace and contentment I craved.\r\n\r\nJuli, thanks for speaking up and letting me know you''re out there. This is such a beautiful, true way to think about all this: "...it just feels so reassuring that we’re not alone in this - not totally broken but instead in company with some wonderfully talented, beautiful, blessed people." I just want to breathe than truth in and sit with it for a while. Thank you, and blessings to you.\r\n\r\nsuzi, "Better Living through Chemistry"—ha! I love it! Thanks for your friendship and sense of humor in the messiness of life.\r\n\r\n(All, I''ll be back to respond to more comments! Thanks for your patience and for surrounding me with so much goodness.)', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.16) Gecko/2009120206 Firefox/3.0.16', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(7124, 546, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '75.134.165.37', '2009-12-22 12:25:53', '2009-12-22 16:25:53', 'Tom, I can relate to the benefits of not watching TV. I stopped watching TV in college, mostly because I didn''t have one around, and then I never started again. We rent movies and TV series from Netflix, so it''s not like we''re completely free of that influence, but it''s so nice to not have it just sitting there, waiting to be turned on. When we have some down time (the kids included), we read, bake, play games, knit, etc. I think that really adds to our quality of life.\r\n\r\nLance, thanks so much for your support all along for the Love List Project. I can relate to so much of what you''re saying here. As a parent, there''s always the joy we take in on our own, and the joy we take in seeing our kids'' joy. It can be a really difficult thing to balance—I often end up feeling guilty when I''m enjoying something purely for me, but if I''m focusing everything on my kids I can start feeling sorry for myself! Ugh. I can also relate to this: "it’s really been very much a connection to soul that has been on my love list for the last month. And a lot of that is coming through connections with others, that just deepens my own connection to my soul." Think we''re extroverts? :)\r\n\r\nJennifer, yeah, that pang to the heart kind of tells you something important is happening, doesn''t it? Thanks for pondering these questions alongside me. I''ll look forward to hearing what you discover about yourself and your life in all the digging.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.15) Gecko/2009101600 Firefox/3.0.15', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(6941, 541, 'Meg', 'mthilmony@mail.bradley.edu', '', '98.212.148.233', '2009-12-07 11:07:35', '2009-12-07 15:07:35', 'Kristin,\r\nI hope you didn''t take my comment about your church being "real" as a backhanded compliment. Honestly, I really liked your church''s controlled chaos. Everyone there just seemed to like, and love, each other so much.\r\nThe trouble with church-searching is that so many churches seem too perfect. Imperfectly imperfect, if that makes sense. I can think of a couple I''ve tried, in particular, that just seem like they have one way of worshiping, one take on all those polarizing issues that affect Christians, one set of expectations for the people who attend. In those situations, it''s clear if you don''t fit.\r\nPlus, many times, people are pretending to be so perfect that they forget to be friendly and welcoming. (And even if a church is great in every other way, this last one can be a deal-breaker.)\r\nYour church, on the other hand, doesn''t claim to be perfect. I read in the bulletin that I could worship as I pleased, and several people greeted me warmly when I walked in the door. They seemed thrilled that I was visiting.\r\nAnd in the flurries of activity surrounding your service, it actually felt like I could be myself and maybe find a place in your community.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.1.3) Gecko/20090824 Firefox/3.5.3 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(6935, 540, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2009-12-06 23:33:13', '2009-12-07 03:33:13', 'Dave, thanks for noticing the new graphic! It was created from a photo of my youngest daughter—Jason has done a great job with them. I love your love list addition, too: “Being able to be filled with joy when I’m able to notice it around me.â€ And the "centering button" would be genius. Can''t you invent something like that?\r\n\r\nMeredith, you clearly *do* get it: "...with so much competing for our attention, esp. at this time of year, it’s hard to settle down and find that place within us that has all those creative, inspired words we want to say." Thanks for the prayers.\r\n\r\nP-Marsh, it''s a bit of a conundrum, isn''t it? I guess it''s a Murphy''s Law sort of phenomenon, and/or a Catch 22: When we have that positive energy (or whatever we''re needing) it naturally multiplies—right when we don''t need an extra dose of it. That''s why I''m at least glad we can lean on each other a bit. I hope you find some of what you need to get you through life''s messes.\r\n\r\nSongbird, I guess not being able to grasp what we need most, when we need it, must be a fairly common human experience, eh? I really get the mix of emotions and frustrations you''re feeling right now, partly because I''ve been in similar life situations in the past, and partly because you''ve described it so honestly. I need that kind of honesty from others when things are less than perfect, just as much as I need to hear their Love List joys.\r\n\r\nTrina, yes, the honeymoon phase is over! Which is always bittersweet. It''s hard to let go of that energizing high, but in the end I think it''s good to make contact with the earth, working all the good stuff out with all the messy stuff.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.15) Gecko/2009101600 Firefox/3.0.15', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(6936, 541, 'Melissa', 'remtobreathe@gmail.com', 'http://www.mgstebbins.blogspot.com', '203.217.82.252', '2009-12-07 04:53:41', '2009-12-07 08:53:41', 'Great post, I could really relate.  The last few years I''ve finally started to shake off the worry about what other people might think about my kids, my church (especially my dad''s opinion ... although I really, really love my dad)  I''ve brought a few new people to our church this year and felt similar feelings to what you describe.  It''s would be interesting to see what a stranger sees looking from different point of view.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_6_2; en-us) AppleWebKit/531.9 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0.3 Safari/531.9', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2508, 343, 'TJ Hirst', 'tj@tjhirst.com', 'http://www.tjhirst.com/', '71.32.29.83', '2009-05-05 10:12:54', '2009-05-05 14:12:54', 'I love to walk with my family. We have  afmaily walk every Sunday afternoon. Our neighborhood almost expects its. It''s a predicatble pattern and a flexible informality at the same time. \r\n\r\nI''m not currently a solitary walker becasue it''s still a little cool and that kind of weather bothers my ears, but when it''s warm enough I like to walk in the monirng when everyone is still asleep in the beautiful way you described, "I’m able to get in touch with that often-muffled voice deep within me."', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.10) Gecko/2009042316 Firefox/3.0.10', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(3478, 369, 'cobalt-blue', 'michelle.feelingroovy@gmail.com', '', '69.221.230.43', '2009-06-04 12:18:54', '2009-06-04 16:18:54', 'Success breeds more success, but its getting to that level of achievement that requires self-discipline and sometimes an outer source of inspiration to ignite the inner workings of motivation. For those children who struggle to reach success (or completion), the lesson of not judging or giving up before you understand the workings of the ''task'' become quit vital. As parents we  provide learning experiences and activities for our children encouraging and guiding  them along the way. Being that we are the ''loving'' parents with decades of life experiences, making mature decisions for our children can be expected- finishing out the season of a sport or remaining in music lessons.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_4_11; en) AppleWebKit/525.28.3 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/3.2.3 Safari/525.28.3', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(5850, 464, 'Trina', 'colour144@yahoo.com', '', '75.156.133.57', '2009-09-09 11:44:43', '2009-09-09 15:44:43', 'Yes, love may seem like the antidote, I understand not always being able to give it, as it seems sometimes like rowing upstream, and yes, without a paddle. Rather ironic isnt it, to see love as the antidote, but there is generally everything but love out there? Arent we constantly having to protect ourselves from bitterness, judgement etc, to me makes it hard to just ''love''. I see your thoughts about compassion in other posts, and it makes me think more about the love. Tough, but worthwhile to be sure.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-GB; rv:1.9.1.2) Gecko/20090729 Firefox/3.5.2 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'Y');
INSERT INTO `wp_d8mand_comments` (`comment_ID`, `comment_post_ID`, `comment_author`, `comment_author_email`, `comment_author_url`, `comment_author_IP`, `comment_date`, `comment_date_gmt`, `comment_content`, `comment_karma`, `comment_approved`, `comment_agent`, `comment_type`, `comment_parent`, `user_id`, `comment_subscribe`) VALUES
(6315, 497, 'Christopher Scapelliti', 'mr.scappy@verizon.net', '', '65.119.23.154', '2009-10-09 12:44:28', '2009-10-09 16:44:28', 'Carmen is my dearest friend, but I''ve never heard this story in this way before. What a wonderful, inspiring and motivating story.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.1.3) Gecko/20090824 Firefox/3.5.3', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(6316, 494, 'Trina', 'colour144@yahoo.com', '', '75.158.132.136', '2009-10-09 12:45:22', '2009-10-09 16:45:22', 'It took me some tome to digest your thoughts here Kristen. You see lying has hurt our family deeply in that a family member took real advantage of us all in a very hurtful way. Fabricating lie, after lie... suffice it to say I really cringe over the damamge a lie can cause. After all the truth can run around naked,  while lies need to be fully clothed.\r\nI do understand about telling children only what they are ready for.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-GB; rv:1.9.1.3) Gecko/20090824 Firefox/3.5.3 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(6317, 472, 'adriana', 'adrianajk@yahoo.com', '', '190.57.81.25', '2009-10-09 12:53:04', '2009-10-09 16:53:04', 'kristin!  love the love list idea and so glad i happened to find this post.  thank you for reminding me of something that i think has been in my head but has never actually taken shape.  i have the perfect little notebook just waiting to be filled.  much love to you.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; es-AR; rv:1.9.0.14) Gecko/2009082707 Firefox/3.0.14', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(6318, 497, 'Trina', 'colour144@yahoo.com', '', '75.158.132.136', '2009-10-09 13:06:30', '2009-10-09 17:06:30', 'Kristen you sure know how to get to the crux of a an issue. Carmen, what a delightful read, you certainly have a special insight as to what makes you - you.\r\nI love Holland. I say this from the point of view of family connections. I love the inclusive feeling I have when there. The sights, smells, spaces were all foreign to me prior to knowing my hubs. Yet, somehow a return to Holland feels like a return home.\r\n\r\nToday, I love that my kids are home from school for a small break. #lovelist', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-GB; rv:1.9.1.3) Gecko/20090824 Firefox/3.5.3 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(6319, 497, 'Meredith', 'meridethdabek@hotmail.com', 'http://www.ordinarymer.com', '155.33.197.219', '2009-10-09 13:55:31', '2009-10-09 17:55:31', 'What a fabulous post, Carmen! I feel like I can picture Iowa perfectly, the way you describe it, and I''ve never even been there. I can definitely understand how you can love a specific place because of the memories it holds.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.14) Gecko/2009082707 Firefox/3.0.14', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(6320, 497, 'dad', 'dscheidel@grandautofamily.com', '', '216.153.242.12', '2009-10-09 14:23:19', '2009-10-09 18:23:19', 'Carmen great story it brought tears to my eyes\r\nlove you\r\nd', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 8.0; Windows NT 5.1; Trident/4.0; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; InfoPath.2; .NET CLR 3.0.4506.2152; .NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(6321, 497, 'Tina', 't_gayon@yahoo.com', '', '85.228.153.76', '2009-10-09 14:43:28', '2009-10-09 18:43:28', 'Carmen,  I''ll never forget driving to Iowa City with Rick Wilde to visit you.  He had a book to read for a class and wanted me to drive, but I couldn''t drive a stick shift.  He sat me in the driver seat and told me to steer and when to push in on the clutch, and he shifted.  \r\nI was so pleasantly surprised by Iowa City and I''ll never forget that old house.  There is so much I DIDN''T know though.  This essay really told me more than I ever realized.  Thanks for sharing!  \r\nfrom a geographer who loves thinking about and experiencing PLACES!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 8.0; Windows NT 6.0; Trident/4.0; SLCC1; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; .NET CLR 3.5.30729; .NET CLR 3.0.30618)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(6322, 497, 'Cadry', 'cadry_nelson@yahoo.com', 'http://www.cadryskitchen.com', '71.92.68.225', '2009-10-09 15:00:23', '2009-10-09 19:00:23', 'You captured Iowa City and its promise and strengths beautifully.  In the middle of farm country, Iowa City is a lovely enigma.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_4_11; en) AppleWebKit/531.9 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0.3 Safari/531.9', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(5521, 449, 'karen/daisy17', 'karennachbar@yahoo.com', '', '72.43.141.253', '2009-08-25 10:42:45', '2009-08-25 14:42:45', 'Love this post.  I was just telling a friend yesterday that the best part of the weekend was seeing Carmen in her hometown and meeting her family and friends -- all of which were exactly as Carmen, the consummate storyteller, had described.  All the nights of cocktails and opera in Manhattan could never tell me as much about who Carmen is as a weekend in Grand Rapids.  I love that you thought the same thing.\r\n\r\nAlso so happy to spend time with you and J.  It''s hard to believe we''ve only really met a couple of times in real life. Ah, the magic of twitter.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.13) Gecko/2009073022 Firefox/3.0.13', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(5522, 449, 'Angie', 'mixmade@gmail.com', '', '75.48.216.155', '2009-08-25 11:04:48', '2009-08-25 15:04:48', 'Thanks, K for this lovely little story about our lovely friend. I am still amazed at how one person (well, it''s two people now!) can bring such a diverse crowd together - and it ends up that we are all the better because of their union, too! \r\n\r\nI am so pleased we are more than virtual friends now.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_5_7; en-us) AppleWebKit/530.19.2 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0.2 Safari/530.19', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(5523, 449, 'Trina', 'colour144@yahoo.com', '', '75.156.133.57', '2009-08-25 11:05:04', '2009-08-25 15:05:04', 'Lovely reflection on a moment of sharing, and celebration. Your knowledge of your friend is evolving, with the addition of Kevin imagine the changes and moments ahead.\r\nSo refreshing to see a bride excel at having a wedding her way.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-GB; rv:1.9.1.2) Gecko/20090729 Firefox/3.5.2 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
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(2269, 326, 'Lorna', 'lornae2@gmail.com', '', '128.174.138.78', '2009-04-13 12:10:43', '2009-04-13 16:10:43', '"But I still have that wandering, untethered feeling. What do I want? " Wow! You have just clearly articulated a feeling I have that I call "restlessness", when nothing satisfies, I am antsy &amp; anxious,  and I have no idea what to try next. I can totally relate to this post. Now, if I could only do something about it.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032608 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2270, 326, 'Robin', 'sheldor@olivetschools.org', '', '24.56.210.247', '2009-04-13 12:15:54', '2009-04-13 16:15:54', 'While the unknown is often scary, whether it be what you want, where you are going next, etc., it often brings surprises.  Sometimes not knowing what will happen next can make you more open to what does happen.  Sometimes those surprises make all the difference.  I answered the phone one day, before caller id, and talked to a friend of a friend.  Later that night, because of that call, I met my husband!  Answering the phone that day and agreeing to go to a basketball game (which I could really care less about, but I was bored and needed something) changed my whole life!  The wanting something and the unknown turned out to be 8 years (and counting) and 3 beautiful kids.  All I had to do was be open to the unknown.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 7.0; Windows NT 6.0; SLCC1; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; .NET CLR 3.0.04506)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2271, 326, 'Ryan', 'scotly@gmail.com', 'http://ryandscott.com', '70.176.203.223', '2009-04-13 12:35:13', '2009-04-13 16:35:13', 'This is well articulated. Not knowing for me often turns into boredom which turns into idleness which turns into sadness. Knowing is about dreaming. If I hold onto my dreams and don''t take actions that would diminish or destroy them, I always know what I want. And I agree with you, not knowing what you want is intensely more awful than knowing and not being able to have.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_5_6; en-us) AppleWebKit/528.16 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0 Safari/528.16', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2272, 326, 'Candace Walsh', 'candace.walsh@gmail.com', 'http://www.mothering.com/candacewalsh', '67.164.141.97', '2009-04-13 12:43:11', '2009-04-13 16:43:11', 'When I feel like that, I know I need to sit and meditate, or do a grounding cord exercise. I think that scrabbling feeling comes from being disconnected and dispersed inside, which equals the inability to tap into knowing what would hit the spot, and getting grounded and centered leads you back to a sense of peace and perspective.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_4_11; en) AppleWebKit/525.27.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/3.2.1 Safari/525.27.1', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(3476, 369, 'TJ Hirst', 'tj@tjhirst.com', 'http://www.tjhirst.com/', '71.217.181.229', '2009-06-04 09:07:27', '2009-06-04 13:07:27', 'Kristen, Very good post today. I love this question, "How can we inspire them to work hard at something because they want to, not just because they’re forced to? Where’s that fine line between discipline and desire, and is there a way we can help nurture it?" This realtres to every aspect of child development. I wish I had found one answer to apply, but the funny thing is that I have three children and I''m looking for three answers times the number of endeavors they begin.But that process helps me know my child even more, on an in-depth level and as a side note it brings me to know myself even better along the way.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.10) Gecko/2009042316 Firefox/3.0.10', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2273, 326, 'Cheryl Ensom Dack', 'roseyposeyclothes@yahoo.com', 'http://www.roseyposeyconfections.blogspot.com', '71.138.18.38', '2009-04-13 14:30:10', '2009-04-13 18:30:10', 'Totally get this, Kristin, and am in this spot myself. I love the way you put a very, very human feeling emotion into words so perfectly. "We read to know we''re not alone" (Anais Nin). Thank you. :)', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.1; SV1; FunWebProducts; .NET CLR 1.0.3705; .NET CLR 1.1.4322; Media Center PC 3.1; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; yplus 5.1.04b)', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(2274, 326, 'Jeb', 'jebdickerson@mac.com', 'http://www.howtomatter.com', '71.237.106.69', '2009-04-13 14:34:05', '2009-04-13 18:34:05', 'So you pretty much just summed up the point of my blog. For me, knowing what you want is, ultimately, how you matter. It starts with the dream, as Ryan suggests, but that can''t be the end. Unfortunately, it often is.\r\n\r\nI consider that ''tethered'' feeling you speak of that comes from knowing what you want, to be purpose. There are times when I have it, know it. When I read or write something that inspires me or experience the beauty of the world around me on a run. When I encounter these experiences, that feeling of purpose flows like a river, and I haven''t a care in the world. In those moments, I can actually see my life the way I want it. And it''s so full. All of it I see in my mind''s eye, at that precise moment when my social preconditions are stripped away and all that is left is me as I should be. Me as I long to be. \r\n\r\nAnd in that brief expanse of awareness lies the roadmap which points the way from here to there. As clearly as I can see my reflection in the mirror, I see how it could be, how I could live that life. But alas, the awareness is fleeting. One moment my vision is clear, the next moment cloudy. A mental roadblock is constructed and I unwittingly go about my day. Not fully, or even remotely, grasping the gravity of the moment-passed.\r\n\r\nI can imagine living a life knowing what you want, but not achieving it. But - and I speak from experience - living a life not knowing, untethered, lacking purpose. That''s no way to live. But I don''t think forcing yourself to embrace something, just for the sake of it, is the way. My sense is that you know what you want at times. That you can think back to those moments when the vision was clear. The trick is knowing the triggers and engaging in them often enough to know that you can pick yourself up each time you falter.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_5_6; en-us) AppleWebKit/525.27.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/3.2.1 Safari/525.27.1', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(2275, 326, 'Cheryl Ensom Dack', 'roseyposeyclothes@yahoo.com', 'http://www.roseyposeyconfections.blogspot.com', '71.138.18.38', '2009-04-13 14:38:57', '2009-04-13 18:38:57', 'Me again...I just read what Jeb wrote. I really identify with that, Jeb. I am wondering if perhaps it is partly an "artistic personality" type of deal? I can have this restless feeling, even when the circumstances of my life, marriage, etc. are stable (whatever the hell that means!) and it is usually at that point related to not having an artistic goal, not feeling like what I''m creating/spending time on is an accurate reflection of who I am, and/or being immersed in "custom work" that I''m being paid to do but is not really "me." Anyone else identify with this? \r\nAnother question that occurs to me...am I the only one who gets this restless feeling in the Spring? When I think about the past, I am a little alarmed that I broke up with almost every boyfriend I had in this March-May window. Usually April! And here I am with this restless feeling right now. April. Maybe I need to have a "wait ''til summer to do anything drastic" policy for myself??? :)', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.1; SV1; FunWebProducts; .NET CLR 1.0.3705; .NET CLR 1.1.4322; Media Center PC 3.1; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; yplus 5.1.04b)', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(2497, 343, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2009-05-05 01:08:18', '2009-05-05 05:08:18', 'Cheryl, do you ever walk or run with a friend, or is it usually a solitary activity for you? I would love to have a regularly scheduled walk with a friend. The most affordable therapy ever!\r\n\r\nTrina, isn''t it interesting that we often want to just be together, without doing anything, yet we seem to need something to mold our time around. Taking a walk together does the trick.\r\n\r\nSurrealSparrow, so did you drop everything and take a walk after you read the post? :) I hope you fit one in at some point today, and that it inspired some new thoughts and ideas. I''m looking forward to getting to know you better on Divine Nobodies. \r\n\r\nCindy, when your childhood includes lots of walks and hikes, it''s hard to imagine having to introduce someone like your spouse to the pleasures of walking, isn''t it? I''m so glad you did, though, so that you and your husband can enjoy walks together.\r\n\r\nJamie, a CROP walk is a great event, put together by a great organization. You should definitely look into it!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.10) Gecko/2009042315 Firefox/3.0.10', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2276, 322, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2009-04-13 17:24:40', '2009-04-13 21:24:40', 'Meagan, thanks for sharing your own story about trying to soak up a bit of the Jewish culture and tradition around you. I love that you resorted to picking up what you could through your upstairs neighbor''s floorboards on Friday nights. I''m sure it''s harder to be invited into an orthodox Jewish community, but you should definitely try to strike up a friendship with some of the moms and their kids. It''s such a rich tradition.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032608 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2277, 326, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2009-04-13 17:40:39', '2009-04-13 21:40:39', 'Lorna, that''s the question indeed: What are we to do with the not knowing? I''m sure those moments translate into creations in your craft room, from time to time. My not-knowing became today''s blog post. Maybe we just have to embrace it and persevere, until we know, once again. (I think Candace has some good advice here, as well.)\r\n\r\nRobin, I''m glad you were able to put a positive spin on this frustrating experience. Wonderful surprises can come from not knowing, and your approach goes along with my posts around New Year''s Day about trying to be "less intentional." What a great story about how you met your husband, too!\r\n\r\nRyan, that''s a really interesting snowball effect, from not knowing to boredom to idleness to sadness. I''ll have to think on that, and see if there''s a boredom piece in all of this for me. I completely agree with your "knowing is about dreaming" statement, though. To me, dreaming is about hope, and it all makes me think about the Bible verse that describes faith as "being sure of what you hope for." Very powerful. I want more of that in my life.\r\n\r\nCandace, I would love to hear more about "grounding cord exercises." The way you describe being "dispersed inside" is spot on. I wonder if feeling that inner peace actually results in wanting less, in addition to knowing what it is we do want.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032608 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(4062, 390, 'Rhonda', 'apodacasue@yahoo.com', '', '99.0.64.170', '2009-06-26 18:06:19', '2009-06-26 22:06:19', 'Great pics and rundown of your time there. So glad you and Ellen were able to meet! Bill looks really good and happy, but he DOES live in my beloved city...safe travels home, my dear.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-US; rv:1.9.0.5) Gecko/2008120122 Firefox/3.0.5 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(5532, 449, 'Jay', 'spencer2464@gmail.com', '', '98.243.222.210', '2009-08-25 22:48:34', '2009-08-26 02:48:34', 'What a great story about the State Fair wedding.  My wife and I spent dinner yesterday recounting the day from 9:15 am as we pulled up with Carmen''s dad dragging a steer with his tractor and the aunts and special friends carefully placing the jam on the tables to the 30 minute rain delay to cleaning up and trying to get everything into the pole barn.\r\n\r\nAgain...your story captures the essence of the day!!!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US) AppleWebKit/530.5 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/2.0.172.39 Safari/530.5', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(5533, 449, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2009-08-25 22:59:57', '2009-08-26 02:59:57', 'Karen/daisy17, I think you''ve spent more leisurely happy-hours with Carmen than I''ve ever been able to. We''ve lived in different cities for more than ten years, so our visits are always furious life catch-ups on the recent past. There never seems to be time to explore stories from the more distant past. So you had heard more of the stories going into the wedding, but we both came to the same conclusion: Seeing Carmen in her childhood setting reveals SO much about who she is. (And yes—it is hard to imagine you and I have only spent a handful of hours together, IRL!)\r\n\r\nAngie, a diverse crowd, indeed! Not necessarily in the way we typically talk about diversity, but the range of personalities and viewpoints and backgrounds was impressive! And there Carmen was, perfectly herself in the middle of it all. I love that.\r\n\r\nTrina, it''s pretty wonderful, isn''t it, that the people we know and love well are complex and always evolving, giving us new things to discover and respond to.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.13) Gecko/2009073021 Firefox/3.0.13', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(7127, 545, 'Tess The Bold Life', 'TessMarshall@TessMarshall.com', 'http://theboldlife.com', '98.177.229.57', '2009-12-23 08:48:00', '2009-12-23 12:48:00', 'I love Henri Nouwen and his quotes are so appropriate for the world right now. It''s tempting to want things to go back the way they were yet I know that something better will come to all of us. And to hope for the new and to be part of the birthing process is so much better for all.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 8.0; Windows NT 5.1; Trident/4.0; .NET CLR 1.1.4322; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; .NET CLR 3.0.4506.2152; .NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(7128, 547, 'Elaine Tolsma-Harlow', 'reoharlow@hotmail.com', '', '97.83.11.145', '2009-12-23 10:02:11', '2009-12-23 14:02:11', 'Amen Kristin &amp; blessings to you this Christmas.\r\n\r\nI have kissed the darkness that nearly threatened to pull me down and came home from the bone marrow transplant with a simple prayer request; to feel real joy.\r\nTen years later we Harlows know how to celebrate.  Christmas is no exception.  I know what the alternative is, so for today we choose to embrace what God has given us today and to thank him for what he has blessed us with in the past.  \r\n\r\nI prayed for joy and we adopted the happiest, funniest, most loving boy imaginable.  Our daughter turned 11 and her kind soul gives me hope for the future.  I had an an anonymous woman donate her marrow to save my life.  Last but not least I have a husband who was true to his vows for "in better &amp; worse, in sickness &amp; health".  \r\n\r\nAcknowledging the darkness is taking stock in what has transformed my life, but I have found true joy is rooted in God''s perfect light, his marvelous gift of hope he gave so many Christmases ago.  On the edges lurk the fear of cancer returning or the latest med reduction failing again, but for today I will celebrate and watch out Christmas, here I come!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_6_2; en-us) AppleWebKit/531.21.8 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0.4 Safari/531.21.10', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(7281, 551, 'ejly', 'eva.lyford@gmail.com', 'http://www.ejly.net', '168.215.91.130', '2010-01-05 13:02:14', '2010-01-05 17:02:14', 'So many struggle. And so many do well. Stay in touch with yourself, and your honesty which is a core part of you, and be well.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.1.6) Gecko/20091201 Firefox/3.5.6 GTB6', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(7282, 551, 'Hugh Hollowell', 'hughlh@gmail.com', 'http://hughlh.com', '24.199.150.25', '2010-01-05 13:02:42', '2010-01-05 17:02:42', 'Right there with you. I live on that razor thin edge often, where I could go either way. I have struggled with this for years. Only my community keeps me sane (and functioning). \r\n\r\nFacing depression is something you must do yourself, but you should never face it by yourself. \r\n\r\nHugs and prayers your way.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-US; rv:1.9.1.5) Gecko/20091102 Firefox/3.5.5', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(7283, 551, 'A', 'arathi.kylasam@gmail.com', '', '128.174.60.226', '2010-01-05 13:21:46', '2010-01-05 17:21:46', 'I''m right there with you too and still struggle with that and severe anxiety.... some days are better than others. Lots of hugs and it definitely helps to know you are not alone. \r\n\r\nA', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.3) Gecko/2008092417 Firefox/3.0.3 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(7284, 551, 'Jennifer', 'hollyhousestudio@me.com', 'http://hollyhouse.blogspot.com', '70.177.70.40', '2010-01-05 13:25:36', '2010-01-05 17:25:36', 'So, what you see, Kristin, is that your depression, while yours and yours alone, does not make you unique (although you are a unique and unrepeatable gift). See how many people have responded to tell you of their own struggles. I won''t go into mine right now, but I will say I had that same shame for a long time. Over a period of years I became very outspoken about it and I will tell anyone and everyone about it now, because knowledge can make a huge difference in the life of a hurting person. One thing I''ve learned is when those short, intense moments of depression come, don''t fight it. I mean, sure, take your meds and talk to the right people, but let it wash over you, test its edges for any kernels of truth. It''s okay to wallow in it, even, for a time. Then push back against its walls and come back into you. Thank you for being public about your struggle. I know you will be a resource for others in pain. \r\n\r\nThe other point I want to make is how small, in a good way, Twitter and other new media, make the world...that is my forthcoming post today. \r\n\r\nMuch peace and many blessings to you.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.6; en-US; rv:1.9.1.6) Gecko/20091201 Firefox/3.5.6', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(7130, 547, 'Dave Thurston', 'dave@orangeshirtguy.com', 'http://www.orangeshirtguy.com', '24.223.179.5', '2009-12-23 10:14:22', '2009-12-23 14:14:22', 'Um, I mean "describe the absence (or varying degrees) of lightness and love."', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_6_2; en-us) AppleWebKit/531.21.8 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0.4 Safari/531.21.10', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(7285, 551, 'Trina', 'colour144@yahoo.com', '', '75.159.55.207', '2010-01-05 13:44:03', '2010-01-05 17:44:03', 'aah Kristin, you often reflect how all our comments and sharing allow others to know they are not alone - glad you can accept that for your self too. Life''s hard sometimes, isnt it? Sharing can be so hard too, yet, sharing can be so helpful. Regarding acceptance of what is - oh lordy - can I relate about the meds. I used to pride myself on being so strong, and not taking so much as an aspirin...  then along came a dreaded companion - Rheumatoid Arthritis - well, lets just say I fought the inevitable - to no avail - and now take prescriptions with grace and acceptance.\r\nThanks for sharing, it takes a community, doesnt it?', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-GB; rv:1.9.1.6) Gecko/20091201 Firefox/3.5.6 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(4059, 390, 'Daisy', 'okaybyme@gmail.com', 'http://compostermom.blogspot.com', '75.62.43.76', '2009-06-26 16:51:46', '2009-06-26 20:51:46', 'Sounds like a great trip! I love your ability to see the silver lining. \r\nYou''ve been tagged. If you''re interested, look here for details. http://compostermom.blogspot.com/2009/06/to-tell-truth-or-not.html', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 7.0; Windows NT 6.0; WOW64; SLCC1; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; Media Center PC 5.0; .NET CLR 3.5.30729; .NET CLR 3.0.30618)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(4064, 390, 'Cobalt-Blue', 'michelle.feelingroovy@gmail.com', '', '69.216.39.225', '2009-06-26 19:03:48', '2009-06-26 23:03:48', 'I, too, have a ''fabulous, not lame'' sibling who lives a distance away from me. Glad you got to spend time with your brother on your exciting book adventure! Cool pictures : )', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_5_7; en-us) AppleWebKit/530.17 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0 Safari/530.17', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2960, 353, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2009-05-19 23:21:13', '2009-05-20 03:21:13', 'Trina, thanks for the reassurance. Sometimes I feel like I can''t think straight any more—like I''m too close to an idea or story to even know what it''s really about. (Or maybe I''m just too tired to put it all together!) And you''ve gotten to the heart of the matter when it comes to community: "letting go of perfectionism, yet still striving to be/do ones best" and the importance of finding a "place of acceptance." Exactly. \r\n\r\nDave, as a Mac user for 15+years, I like that analogy! But at the same time, even the best church communities, like the best marriages, require a lot of work. I don''t want to paint a picture of a perfect church full of perfect people—that would be ironic, in the midst of all the brokenness and imperfection that makes it what it is. Also, I''m willing to put a lot more time and maintenance into a community than into my computer! :) Anyway, I really like how you''re pondering what church is for you: “Church is were I can rest, communicate, question, ponder, hug, laugh, cry, and love." I guess it''s the ability to accommodate complexity that makes a church community right for me.\r\n\r\nEmma, thanks so much for spending time at my blog, and for your really well-thought comment. I love this sort of "critique"—it makes me think harder about the words I choose and what I''m really trying to say. I''m definitely going to take all of your thoughts and questions to heart as I continue working on the website copy. Regarding the particular points you shared your thoughts about, I noticed a slight theme: I think I am compensating (perhaps over compensating, maybe mostly subconsciously) for the self-righteous Christian stereotype. I am stressing "brokenness" and "no knowing" and "not getting everything right," while you are rightly pulling me back a bit, to a place of more balance. I still think I will find myself leaning toward my initial stance, but it''s also important for me to acknowledge all that is possible with God. Thanks for the reminder!\r\n\r\nMeredith, I love that Gandhi quote, too. Jesus was all about people—about focusing on love rather than on the religious laws that used to dictate every action people took (or didn''t take). We have our own versions of laws now, and we love to pull them out when we need excuses for why we''ve treated someone a certain way, or neglected someone''s needs. Anyway, I *do* obviously feel very blessed to be a part of this faith community (I even met my husband there!), but as I mentioned in my response to Dave, I want to be careful not to portray it as perfect. We have a lot to learn and figure out together as we go—therein lies the beauty, I suppose.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.10) Gecko/2009042315 Firefox/3.0.10', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(3475, 369, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2009-06-04 01:04:02', '2009-06-04 05:04:02', 'Jason, you''ve summed up the approach I used when my kids were a bit younger (preschool and lower elementary). What I''ve found, though, is that the expectations and competition really start multiplying quickly when they get a bit older, which changes their whole perspective. When they''re younger, all of their peers are just starting out and giving many activities a try. I would love to keep that spirit of open exploration alive, without so many comparisons to the other kids. \r\n\r\nMichael, I love your story about the piano practice timer! Also, that your parents knew something about you that you didn''t regarding music—that''s very perceptive of them (and of you, now!). Finally, this seems exactly right: "I think the real art in it is knowing how to dish out the tough love in a way that’s effective." It''s not tough love for the sake of wielding control, it''s tough love with a positive end result in mind.\r\n\r\nDaisy, the fear of failure is a huge issue. To make it worse, I think kids have fairly confused definitions of success and failure, and so much of it is based on comparing themselves to whoever happen to be in their little world. I can''t imagine where you would begin to break this cycle as a school teacher! (On that note, happy summer to you!)', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.10) Gecko/2009042315 Firefox/3.0.10', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2119, 310, 'Nisha', 'nchittal@gmail.com', 'http://politicoholic.com', '64.198.245.6', '2009-03-29 19:41:42', '2009-03-29 23:41:42', 'I love New York City. The org. I work for is based there so I usually visit 2-3 times a year for quarterly meetings or whatever other work stuff they need me for. I sometimes think I could never get tired of the place just because there is always something going on, so many new things and new places to discover, and its just sort of endless. I like that you could live there your whole life and still be learning new things about the city everyday. But then again, I say that only as an occasional visitor. I''m not sure how my perspective would change if I lived there for a long time. \r\n\r\nOn another note: for a slightly more classy drink that''s caffeinated and alcoholic...try a fireball: champagne and red bull :)', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032609 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2278, 326, 'Daisy', 'okaybyme@gmail.com', 'http://compostermom.blogspot.com', '75.62.43.76', '2009-04-13 21:21:13', '2009-04-14 01:21:13', 'Sometimes the strong feeling says overwhelmingly, "I don''t know what I want, but I do know I don''t want this." Sometimes that leads me to look for the way out of a difficult situation, and in the process I clarify what I really do want. \r\nAnd sometimes? No clue.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 7.0; Windows NT 6.0; WOW64; SLCC1; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; .NET CLR 3.0.04506; Media Center PC 5.0)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(4909, 426, 'Rayne of Terror', 'devivo2006@yahoo.com', 'http://www.devivo.blogspot.com', '163.191.242.249', '2009-07-27 15:35:39', '2009-07-27 19:35:39', 'I went Thursday and Friday because a free ticket fell in my lap and I was able to stay with my sister.  In my experience it wasn''t about stats or clothing and I met plenty of writers of small blogs who don''t run advertisements.  I also got to hang with some major bloggers that I''m totally fan girl about and buy the books (and get them signed) of authors I wanted to support.  I left early because I''m SO pregnant and the venue was SO large and frankly the thrust of the conference is marketing yourself and that''s not my bag at this time.  I did get some flashes of inspiration while I was there and that''s pretty much what I was hoping for.  I doubt I will go again because I am a hobbyist and have a full time career, but now I know what I''m missing and I won''t feel bad about missing it.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.1; SV1; .NET CLR 1.0.3705; .NET CLR 1.1.4322)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
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(7383, 552, 'the Luckless Pedestrian', 'gwen.monster@gmail.com', 'http://www.myspace.com/TheLucklessPedestrian', '82.93.73.113', '2010-01-11 09:25:44', '2010-01-11 13:25:44', 'These lyrics to an unreleased song by  a favourite song-writer of mine really launched me in the direction of a big epiphany this last year:\r\n"When I lost my way home\r\nI was helpless like a small child.\r\nNo eyes of my own that could\r\nTake me through the night time.\r\n...\r\nI slept through the daylight,\r\nWoke up, it was midnight\r\n<b>There in the dark I saw Sun Mountain.</b>\r\n\r\nHere in my world I remember all the things I left behind\r\nAnd if I need them they will be there a part of my mind."\r\n\r\nMy major epiphany of 2009 was that "darkness" doesn''t equate "evil" "bad" "false" or any of the other scary things I was raised to think of it as. Darkness is simply <i>the unmanifested</i>, the void- that which we are all in this life to draw fruit out of.\r\n\r\nThe whitest, most pure, and noble horse is still white, pure, and noble whether light is shining on it or not, whether you or anyone else will ever see its hue. The truth that lies in the mere fact that darkness <i>exists</i> is just as much truth as the fact that <i>light</i> exists. The TRUTH of what IS is what matters.\r\n\r\nThis was very profound for me this year and has opened me up to all sorts of new experiences, friendships, and art-creating (I''m a musician, currently working on an entire concept album devoted to this theme of truth being true whether it is illuminated in light or simply out there waiting to be groped in the dark by the few who are brave enough to go where their eyes cannot see). I''ve become open in a way I wasn''t before and have come to learn I''m wise enough to find value and truth in whatever comes my way, whether I (formerly) first would''ve labeled the experience/ person/ or thing as "good" or "evil." Therefore, for me I''m finding it''s better to abandon those titles and judgments from the get-go. I will admit that experimenting with this isn''t for the faint of heart, or those who don''t trust themselves to make wise, moment-by-moment decisions of what is best for them.\r\n\r\n\r\n--- --- --- --- --- ---\r\nThanks for the opportunity to be entered in your raffle!\r\n\r\n- G.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.6; en-US; rv:1.9.1.5) Gecko/20091102 Firefox/3.5.5', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(7384, 553, 'Trina', 'colour144@yahoo.com', '', '75.159.55.207', '2010-01-11 13:20:34', '2010-01-11 17:20:34', 'Aaah the angst and comfort of friends, nice work on the categories.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-GB; rv:1.9.1.7) Gecko/20091221 Firefox/3.5.7 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(7385, 553, 'Zoe', 'zoe@zoewesthof.com', 'http://www.essentialprose.com', '58.8.54.136', '2010-01-11 13:24:26', '2010-01-11 17:24:26', 'It''s funny how sometimes cut-and-dry systems can so simply reflect our feelings that feel utterly complex. I think of this theme often; living in Thailand, I''ve seen many close friends come and go -- the expat community can be quite transient. It''s strange to get used to saying "see you later...sometime, somewhere...", and it makes you think about relationships near and far. I must say, I''m exceptionally grateful for Skype, email, and web cameras that make it easy to feel closer to faraway loves.\r\n\r\nI definitely still need best friends. Do some people really "grow out of it"?', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.1.5) Gecko/20091102 Firefox/3.5.5', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(4900, 426, 'Debbie Yost', 'deb.opks@gmail.com', 'http://www.my3weddings.com', '76.92.233.189', '2009-07-26 23:26:50', '2009-07-27 03:26:50', 'Oh my gosh, I could have written this!  In fact, I was saying almost the same things to my husband just last night. On one hand it would have been fun to go, but I''d be afraid I would feel out of place, especially going by myself.  I considered looking into going next year, but it''s in New York.  Guess it will be a little longer till I know if it''s worth it.  :)  Maybe we could go together some year!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 7.0; Windows NT 6.0; WOW64; GTB6; SLCC1; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; .NET CLR 3.0.04506; Media Center PC 5.0; InfoPath.1)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
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(6445, 506, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2009-10-17 18:37:11', '2009-10-17 22:37:11', 'Trina, I agree. I''ve made some gratitude lists in the past, and while it''s a very important process, the love lists are different, for the exact reasons you state. Thanks for sharing your growing list with us. I love how visual and even sound-oriented you are!\r\n\r\nJoy, I feel the same way about reading the love lists of others. Sometimes I can really relate to what someone else has put on their list, but at other times I just find myself celebrating what makes them unique and makes them happy, even if I can''t relate. "Labor of love" is an interesting phrase to bring into the conversation. You''re absolutely right—sometimes doing what we love isn''t fully enjoyable; other times we have to do what we don''t love in order to make room for what we do. There''s so much balancing involved!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.14) Gecko/2009082706 Firefox/3.0.14', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(7277, 551, 'Margo Dill', 'margodll@aol.com', 'http://margodill.com/blog/', '173.23.109.115', '2010-01-05 12:19:58', '2010-01-05 16:19:58', 'Thanks for sharing your honesty here. I know it must have been hard.\r\nMargo', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-US; rv:1.9.1.6) Gecko/20091201 Firefox/3.5.6 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(7278, 551, 'Rachel', 'rmswanny@gmail.com', 'http://swandive.typepad.com', '75.72.200.37', '2010-01-05 12:21:00', '2010-01-05 16:21:00', 'I am right here, so grateful for a partner to walk in the open and light with.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.6; en-US; rv:1.9.1.6) Gecko/20091201 Firefox/3.5.6', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(7279, 551, 'Jules', 'mojojules@gmail.com', '', '166.137.138.107', '2010-01-05 12:38:10', '2010-01-05 16:38:10', 'I''m here with you as well. Depression is a struggle for me. Hard for people\r\nto detect since I''m so out going, ect. Some don''t take it seriously. Anyway you are not alone in the journey! :)', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (iPhone; U; CPU iPhone OS 3_1_2 like Mac OS X; en-us) AppleWebKit/528.18 (KHTML, like Gecko) Mobile/7D11', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(7280, 551, 'ed cyzewski', 'julieanded@gmail.com', 'http://www.inamirrordimly.com', '66.220.225.156', '2010-01-05 12:43:01', '2010-01-05 16:43:01', 'Thank you for sharing. I hit a wall of my own over the past few weeks and am only now starting to sort things out. I wouldn''t call it depression, but rather a sense of despair and feeling overwhelmed. I love how you ended the post. Yes, we really do need our community (both on and offline) to support us. I wonder if the retrospective nature of this time of year coupled with the anticipation of the new year makes it such a  tough time for so many.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.1.6) Gecko/20091201 Firefox/3.5.6 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(2279, 326, 'Betty Duffy', 'bettyduffy2@yahoo.com', 'http://bettyduffy.blogspot.com', '67.177.100.218', '2009-04-13 21:31:57', '2009-04-14 01:31:57', '“By waiting and by calm you shall be saved, in quiet and in trust your strength lies.â€ \r\n(Is 30:15b)\r\n\r\nI hate it when I''m restless and there''s nothing to do, or when I have some brilliant idea I''m unable (or too lazy) to execute. I feel frustrated when I try to discern God''s will for my life, and the answer is to do nothing, at least for awhile. It feels counterintuitive.  In hindsight, though I''ve been able to see how those quiet restless moments have been some sort of incubation period for a bigger plan that had not yet presented itself--and I have at times wished that I used my pent-up energies more wisely, by being happy and contented with where I am.\r\n\r\nGreat post. You put into words a universal feeling.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 7.0; Windows NT 6.0; SU 3.21; SLCC1; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; .NET CLR 3.0.04506; .NET CLR 1.1.4322)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2280, 326, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2009-04-13 23:10:47', '2009-04-14 03:10:47', 'Cheryl, when you and others comment, I know *I''m* not alone. Writing and reading and sharing is such amazing therapy! Re: your second comment, bringing up the artistic personality aspect of this is interesting. I know I feel untethered when it''s been a while since I''ve created anything that feels like TRUTH to me—an accurate reflection of who I am, as you put it. I don''t think it''s just a creative issue, though. I think seven years ago, my entire LIFE didn''t accurately reflect who I was/am. And maybe this past weekend didn''t reflect who I am, which left me feeling directionless. Very interesting...\r\n\r\nJeb, I love this: "In those moments, I can actually see my life the way I want it. And it’s so full. All of it I see in my mind’s eye, at that precise moment when my social preconditions are stripped away and all that is left is me as I should be. Me as I long to be." This definitely fits in with what Cheryl was saying, about parts of your life (or certain moments, or things that you create) that accurately reflect who you are. Recognizing and honoring those, and allowing them to be triggers, as you said, is essential.\r\n\r\nDaisy, yes, the process of elimination can be extremely helpful, even if it is time consuming and draining. :) And luckily those utter "no clue" moments are relatively rare.  \r\n\r\nBetty, that verse from Isaiah perfectly addresses the inner "pacing" that I wrote about. Thank you. And I completely agree with this: "...those quiet restless moments have been some sort of incubation period for a bigger plan that had not yet presented itself." When I look back on the most significant times of restlessness in my life, I can now see that they were difficult but necessary incubation periods. And perhaps these smaller bouts of restlessness, like what I experienced today, are opportunities to recalibrate and recenter in terms of what matters.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032608 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(6422, 506, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2009-10-16 15:43:22', '2009-10-16 19:43:22', 'Gen, that''s a great idea! It was funny, just reading your list of examples got me all stressed out. Those exact types of little things really add up and weigh on me, making it difficult to really relax or enjoy simple pleasures.\r\n\r\nSara, yes, watching this spread out into other blogs (like yours) has been one of the great, unexpected joys of this project. I can heartily second your blogging love list (although I don''t have a muse named Izzy!).\r\n\r\nCarmen, I didn''t think of this until I read your simple comment, but having something regular to look forward to is a love of mine—little traditions that help us measure and differentiate our days. Thanks for being a part of this tradition.\r\n\r\nxmartinj, I''m glad you can relate! I think everyone longs for that kind of "being around" time, but not everyone is completely comfortable with it. I wonder why that is....\r\n\r\nLance, I can really relate to that conundrum—doing something I love and am excited about, but feeling stressed by the amount of work and time it takes. Just keeping a blog up each week feels a bit like that. I guess that''s where the prioritizing comes in, and learning to go with the flow. Hopefully after surviving a really busy week, you can find some time for other things you love next week. :)\r\n\r\nKeith, if you''re working hours like that, you must be learning a lot about time management (or how to get by on very little sleep!). I''m glad you''re keeping a love list and working toward a more balanced life in the future.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.14) Gecko/2009082706 Firefox/3.0.14', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(4910, 428, 'Sugar Jones', 'sugar@sugarjones.tv', 'http://sugarjones.tv', '70.216.68.162', '2009-07-27 15:45:25', '2009-07-27 19:45:25', 'Your children are so kind and compassionate. Good Mom.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US) AppleWebKit/530.5 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/2.0.172.37 Safari/530.5', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(4908, 426, 'mother shaffer', 'mother.shaffer@gmail.com', 'http://mothershaffer.wordpress.com/', '98.118.118.251', '2009-07-27 13:31:27', '2009-07-27 17:31:27', 'Sounds like there''s potential for an anti-blogher conference with the criteria that you can''t have over x number of followers, you can''t make money at it, your blog can''t fall into a neat category topic, and if you are super un-cool--bonus points.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.12) Gecko/2009070611 Firefox/3.0.12', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(4066, 390, 'Jeb', 'jebdickerson@mac.com', 'http://www.howtomatter.com', '71.237.106.69', '2009-06-26 19:59:10', '2009-06-26 23:59:10', 'KT!\r\nThank you for a wonderful window, I enjoyed peering through and watching you enjoy life. Nice to see you again. :)', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_5_7; en-us) AppleWebKit/530.18 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0.1 Safari/530.18', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(5184, 434, 'Dave Thurston', 'dave@orangeshirtguy.com', 'http://www.orangeshirtguy.com', '24.223.179.5', '2009-08-10 22:59:39', '2009-08-11 02:59:39', 'What is the difference between happiness at Disney World and happiness at the beach?\r\n\r\nWhile trying to do some different things with money this summer, this question has popped into my mind over and over (also, "Do we need to pay to be entertained and/or happy? Shouldn''t we be able to figure out a way to do it on our own?"\r\n\r\nI think Jason''s quote is excellent - working toward a goal (say) in the yard is enjoyable. Whereas, being handed a goal (say) from a TV show - not so much.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_5_7; en-us) AppleWebKit/530.19.2 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0.2 Safari/530.19', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(5185, 434, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '98.243.56.207', '2009-08-10 23:53:48', '2009-08-11 03:53:48', 'Hi all of my lovely readers! I''m on vacation, so it''s more difficult to find the time and the wireless signal to respond to comments. Sorry for the delay—here I go!\r\n\r\nSugar, it''s good to hear you''ve been on a happiness kick! I''d love to hear more about the book you mentioned. And I think you nailed this: "We can trick ourselves into thinking that we’re not experiencing happiness if it’s not at a euphoric level. We undervalue simple joys and the feeling of contentment..."\r\n\r\nMeagan, you are the expert on this topic, in my mind, so I''m really glad you enjoyed the post. :) In some ways, I wonder if we aren''t protecting ourselves against disappointment when we train ourselves to find happiness in smaller things—not that that''s a bad thing to do.... I love your comment about happiness in small, quiet moments: "I think kids understand that instinctively; it’s our culture that beats that appreciation of the small things out of them."\r\n\r\nDave, money is a great issue to bring into this discussion, particularly during summer, when family vacation season is upon us, and also during a recession, when most people are being more careful with money. The well-known saying "you can''t buy happiness" is true, as we all know from watching the lives (and deaths) of celebrities like Michael Jackson. Perhaps we just need to remind ourselves of that a bit more often, in more concrete ways, taking joy in what''s right in front of us.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.12) Gecko/2009070609 Firefox/3.0.12', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(6418, 486, 'Craving more of a certain kind of time', '', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/?p=506', '67.205.26.185', '2009-10-16 15:10:47', '2009-10-16 19:10:47', '[...] (If you&#8217;re wondering what this whole Love List Project is about, check out the first, second, third and fourth posts in the Friday [...]', 0, '1', 'Incutio XML-RPC -- WordPress/2.5.1', 'pingback', 0, 0, 'N'),
(6419, 506, 'Lance', 'lance@jungleoflife.com', 'http://www.jungleoflife.com/', '12.175.154.114', '2009-10-16 15:15:08', '2009-10-16 19:15:08', 'Hi Kristin,\r\nThis week...has been crazy busy with a project I''m working on.  And it''s a project that has very deep meaning to me.  Still...that whole time thing.  You know.  So, that''s a tough one.  I''m doing something that I really love...and it feels overly-frenzied at times.  So, what is love here, exactly?  As I dig into that, it''s very much the people I''m working with, and their open-ness, love, and caring.  \r\n\r\nSo, this week - amongst it all - the daily life - it''s the connections with others that I love...', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.1.3) Gecko/20090824 Firefox/3.5.3 GTB5 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(6630, 472, 'Day Five: What do you love? &laquo; Newvine Growing &#8212; exploring evolution, revolution and living life intentionally', '', 'http://newvinegrowing.wordpress.com/2009/10/30/day-five-what-do-you-love/', '66.135.48.204', '2009-10-31 12:13:06', '2009-10-31 16:13:06', '[...] blogs on Halfway to Normal: Start making your love list. My writer friend Julie Hammonds, who introduced me to this concept, [...]', 0, '1', 'The Incutio XML-RPC PHP Library -- WordPress/MU', 'pingback', 0, 0, 'N'),
(6413, 506, 'Gen', 'genny_charet@ameritech.net', 'http://thealchemistblog.wordpress.com', '69.211.122.173', '2009-10-16 12:09:53', '2009-10-16 16:09:53', 'I read somewhere that you should make a list of your Top 100 Tolerations.  Tolerations are those little annoyances, irksome things that need to be done, that sap energy from you every time you look at/think about them, things that are weighing on your mind.  They may not seem like big things (the bathroom mirror is too spotty, I hate that our cushions don''t match, I need to glue that broken mug back together), but when added up, they do actually pull a lot of energy from you.  Even just writing up a full list feels like a journal entry.  Then set aside a block of time to handle a bunch of them--I tried it, and my list still isn''t finished (I keep adding to the list as I cross things off, haha, but I think that''s the point), but it does help, SO much.   It sounds like it might be a nice accompaniment to the Two Minute Rule.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_4_11; en) AppleWebKit/531.9 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0.3 Safari/531.9', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(6414, 506, 'Sara', 'sara@sarahealy.com', 'http://www.sarahealy.com', '71.203.106.224', '2009-10-16 12:36:06', '2009-10-16 16:36:06', 'Kristen -- Thanks for the link. I think it''s fun to see something as wonderful as The Love List Project spread through the blogging community. \r\n\r\nI decided to take a different approach and think about categories related to my love list. Therefore, the updates to my love list  today relate to blogging.\r\n\r\nI love....\r\nBloggers who share their space and help other bloggers\r\nReading comments that touch my heart and soul\r\nThe amazing and supportive blogging community I am lucky to have found\r\nWriting and sharing my thought with others\r\nIzzy, my muse – I love her just the way she is\r\nReading other posts and discovering new ideas\r\nSeeing the synchronicity that occurs in the blogging community\r\n\r\nMy list keeps growing and I also see themes in it. Certainly, my love of nature comes out in my love list. This is so much fun. Thanks:~)', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-US; rv:1.9.1.3) Gecko/20090824 Firefox/3.5.3 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(3474, 369, 'Daisy', 'okaybyme@gmail.com', 'http://compostermom.blogspot.com', '75.62.43.76', '2009-06-03 19:29:39', '2009-06-03 23:29:39', 'I struggle at school when I see kids who give up when something isn''t easy. I''m not saying it''s hard; I''m just seeing kids give up before they start because they fear failure.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 7.0; Windows NT 6.0; WOW64; SLCC1; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; Media Center PC 5.0; .NET CLR 3.5.30729; .NET CLR 3.0.30618)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(5888, 466, 'Ken Stewart', 'Significant0@aol.com', 'http://www.EasleyElectric.com', '74.248.246.180', '2009-09-10 19:47:27', '2009-09-10 23:47:27', 'Why don''t you simply do a digital download in multiple formats (pdf, audio, and whatever other forms might sell) and sell it yourself for whatever price would work using Paypal? Market it via social media. There is a concept of BOPP (bottom of the pyramid...can''t remember exactly, but read a book about it by an economist who I believe had an Indian [i.e. of India] sounding name) that says selling for miniscule amounts to the 4 billion people on the "bottom of the pyramid" is a coming trend...', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-US; rv:1.9.0.13) Gecko/2009073022 Firefox/3.0.13 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(6279, 472, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2009-10-02 13:48:22', '2009-10-02 17:48:22', 'Karl, I''m so glad you stopped by and got into the #lovelist fun on Twitter. Did you noticed I quoted your tweet on my post today? :) http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/?p=486\r\n\r\nDiantha, I think you''re right—doing this together impacts the energy level for everyone.\r\n\r\nYira, I really enjoyed seeing your love list on Lance''s blog, and I''m glad you''re into the idea of digging even deeper. I hope you''ll stop by again and let us know what you''ve discovered.\r\n\r\nSara, I love that this has reminded you to revive something you started a while back. I will really look forward to hearing more from you as your list progresses. It''s good to see you again!\r\n\r\nThe Exception, welcome to Halfway to Normal! And what a great idea, to share this concept with our kids. I wish I had started thinking deliberately about all of this at a much younger age—I''m sure it would have helped me in many ways.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.14) Gecko/2009082706 Firefox/3.0.14', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(4912, 428, 'CherylEnsomDack', 'CherylEnsomDack@gmail.com', 'http://Www.livinginabeautifulmess.blogspot.com', '96.41.113.50', '2009-07-27 15:51:27', '2009-07-27 19:51:27', 'What a precious post. Makes me teary in that way I get when something is simple, sweet and true.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (iPod; U; CPU iPhone OS 2_2_1 like Mac OS X; en-us) AppleWebKit/525.18.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Mobile/5H11a', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(4913, 426, 'Sugar Jones', 'sugar@sugarjones.tv', 'http://sugarjones.tv', '70.216.68.162', '2009-07-27 15:53:00', '2009-07-27 19:53:00', 'I was having the same mixed feelings all the way up to leaving for the trip. I was happy to reconnect with friends and for some of the sessions. And while the parties were a lot of fun, I felt a lot overwhelmed by it all. My heart hurt watching the ugly behaviors of many of the attendees. It WAS just like the junior high environment you described. I don''t think I''ll be attending next year. I don''t really think it''s my posse, either.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US) AppleWebKit/530.5 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/2.0.172.37 Safari/530.5', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(4533, 409, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2009-07-11 13:20:53', '2009-07-11 17:20:53', 'Elaine, yes! You nailed it by pointing out that "I''m better than you are" attitude. The thing that''s so tricky about that is it happens in both directions—there''s the "I''m better than you are because I have accepted this nice, complete faith package with all the perks" and the "I''m better than you are because I''m an intellectual and I don''t accept everything blindly." We all need to beware of that attitude, no matter where we stand.\r\n\r\nRon, I really like how you put that: "...being more inviting to others on God’s behalf." And I should add that this is one of the things I appreciate most about our church/fellowship—we are inviting to people with lots of doubts and questions, at all stages of the journey. Thanks for leading in that.\r\n\r\nDave, A) Thanks for your kind words. I love analogies, especially when come to me out of nowhere, almost like they''re God-given, as the potluck and children''s museum analogies did. B) That''s too funny. I''ll only share food pointers if you ask. :) C) Yes, my commenters (you included) are the best on the Internet. I deeply admire and appreciate you all.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.10) Gecko/2009042315 Firefox/3.0.10', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(5860, 464, 'Dave Thurston', 'dave@orangeshirtguy.com', 'http://www.orangeshirtguy.com', '24.223.179.5', '2009-09-09 17:34:27', '2009-09-09 21:34:27', 'I know that fear is out there and I have mine at times.  Frequently when I look deeply at my fear, I see that the real fear is that I need to learn something that radically changes my way of thinking and (frankly) I''d rather not do that right now.\r\n\r\nMaybe it''d be simpler to change everyone over to my way of thinking (through fear perhaps) rather than deal with my own fears.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_6; en-us) AppleWebKit/531.9 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0.3 Safari/531.9', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(7813, 560, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2010-02-02 11:19:45', '2010-02-02 15:19:45', 'Candace, as always, it''s good to know I''m not alone—especially in my most aggravating personality traits. :)\r\n\r\nMother Shaffer, too funny. Yeah, bad drivers represent the hardest group for me to offer grace to. Maybe partly because they''re putting all of us in danger? I''m working on finding my zen place more often when I''m driving, though.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.17) Gecko/2009122115 Firefox/3.0.17', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(7513, 555, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '76.247.166.145', '2010-01-18 11:49:54', '2010-01-18 15:49:54', 'Dave, thank you for directing me to your blog post about Haiti. It was just what I needed to read right now (and I hope some of my readers will take a moment to read it, too). http://davesfaithblog.blogspot.com/2010/01/comfort-in-aftermath.html', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.16) Gecko/2009120206 Firefox/3.0.16', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(4539, 411, 'jen', 'jenx67@cox.net', 'http://www.jenx67.com', '68.227.97.30', '2009-07-11 15:25:33', '2009-07-11 19:25:33', 'I love it when you write about your childhood. I always have takeaways when you do. \r\n\r\nI remember spending lots of money on the arts when Juliette was little and I was a single mom. With the little ones coming along, resources are more limited than ever. I miss those days. This post reminded me of how much I have not instilled arts appreciation in my son. At two, Juliette was going to museums. Bridgy is two now, and nada. \r\n\r\nJust an all around great piece of writing, Kristin. I think tickets are pricey in Oklahoma - Shakepeare in the Park - I think they go for $10 or $20. Geez. What am I waiting for. Of course, it is 105 degrees here today...remind me to take my hand held fan and spritzer. haha!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 8.0; Windows NT 6.0; Trident/4.0; SU 3.23; GTB6; SLCC1; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; InfoPath.2; .NET CLR 3.5.30729; .NET CLR 3.0.30618)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2483, 343, 'Cindy', 'cynsewell@gmail.com', '', '209.117.148.2', '2009-05-04 15:43:56', '2009-05-04 19:43:56', 'Walking has always been a huge part of my life. As you know my parents are big into walking so we too walked as children. I introduced my husband to the pleasures of walking many years ago. He can now go for a walk with no particular destination and enjoy it. (a Dairy Queen at the other end does help motivate however). Regardless of the weather I have always been a fan of walking it out - as you said things just have a way of coming into focus when you are walking. Thanks for making me pause today and mentally plan my next walk!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.10) Gecko/2009042316 Firefox/3.0.10', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2484, 343, 'Jamie Simmerman', 'mt12mindset@gmail.com', 'http://blueduckcopy.com', '75.219.201.41', '2009-05-04 15:55:54', '2009-05-04 19:55:54', 'Crop walks aren''t something we do here, but maybe we should. Perhaps I''ll mention to my pastor. Thanks for the idea, Kristin!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_5_6; en-us) AppleWebKit/525.27.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/3.2.1 Safari/525.27.1', '', 0, 0, 'N');
INSERT INTO `wp_d8mand_comments` (`comment_ID`, `comment_post_ID`, `comment_author`, `comment_author_email`, `comment_author_url`, `comment_author_IP`, `comment_date`, `comment_date_gmt`, `comment_content`, `comment_karma`, `comment_approved`, `comment_agent`, `comment_type`, `comment_parent`, `user_id`, `comment_subscribe`) VALUES
(4537, 231, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2009-07-11 13:51:14', '2009-07-11 17:51:14', 'Dave, I love that image of "accepting the baton," and your description of holding hands: "A bit of a self-hug, thumbs-up to them, and “we’re on the same teamâ€ all at once."\r\n\r\nDavid, I really appreciate that you brought this perspective into the conversation. I am close friends with several people in same-sex relationships, and in inter-racial marriages, and while I often focus on their larger rights and the larger abuses they face, I tend to forget about those little things that my husband and I take for granted, like holding hands without being stared at. Thanks for that reminder. (I wanted to also let you know that I removed the second "comment," which just included your link. The website link is already on your initial comment, and I have a policy about not publishing "link-only" comments. Thanks!)', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.10) Gecko/2009042315 Firefox/3.0.10', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2477, 343, 'Trina', 'colour144@yahoo.com', '', '66.222.252.31', '2009-05-04 12:47:20', '2009-05-04 16:47:20', 'Love the connection "...do something all together, without really having to do anything..." A family that can spend time toghether just being, truly has it made.\r\n\r\n Plus a wonderufl connection and explanation about how this specific walk and walking in general connects us all.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-GB; rv:1.9.0.10) Gecko/2009042316 Firefox/3.0.10 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2478, 167, 'Cheryl Ensom Dack', 'roseyposeyclothes@yahoo.com', 'http://www.roseyposeyconfections.blogspot.com', '71.138.18.38', '2009-05-04 12:49:53', '2009-05-04 16:49:53', 'No longer the holidays, but I need to give myself a "coupon book," all the same! :) I''ll think on this one and check back in... ;)', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (iPod; U; CPU iPhone OS 2_2_1 like Mac OS X; en-us) AppleWebKit/525.18.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/3.1.1 Mobile/5H11a Safari/525.20', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(2949, 353, 'Emma', 'emily@cafegilliam.net', 'http://cafegilliam.net/', '69.153.201.107', '2009-05-19 14:48:37', '2009-05-19 18:48:37', 'Hi, Kristin! I stumbled on your blog a few days ago, and it rocks! You are creative, genuine, and fun. Thanks for this.\r\n\r\nI have a liiiitle food for thought about your post. Given with respect and cheer, I hope it won''t offend.\r\n\r\n-try to balance our desire for intellectual honesty and passionate worship and living.\r\n-are committed to mercy, justice and meaningful action in our community and world.\r\n-desire genuine fellowship and community with one another, seven days a week.\r\n-value people coming together from many backgrounds.\r\nI love these, especially the first. I hold these as succinct and beautifully expressed.\r\n\r\n-are searching, and trying to find answers to big questions we might never grasp.\r\nAgreed. However, the searching seems to be matched with never grasping. Along with your assertion of humility, perhaps also essentially noted is God''s unfolding, revealing of truth as we seek Him out. "The truth will set you free." The inner transforming power of godly truth is a huge mark of community worship to me.\r\n\r\n-are broken and in need healing.\r\n-honor Jesus and deeply desire to follow him, even if we don’t always get it right.\r\nKinda the same here. We need healing, and will our entire life. But we also receive healing, which is supremely notable. Sometimes a certain healing is gradual; sometimes it''s large and complete, even here on earth. With the second, we don''t always get it right, but we aspire to allow ourselves to be molded by God, so that sometimes we DO get it right, and Jesus is honored, followed, glorified, through our earthen vessels.\r\n\r\n-don’t need everything to be black and white—we are willing to say “I’m not sure.â€\r\nI really, really love your phrase "intellectual honesty" in the other statement. And I''m not sure, for sure. But we''re still perusing truth. Our minds are better useful when they''re sharp. One of the benefits I find to being a Christian is that God tells us to examine things. We don''t need everything to be black and white -- but we''re questing after an understanding of the things of God.\r\n\r\n-actively try to repel polarization, whether religious, political, economic or racial.\r\nWhew. I respect it, but I''m not willing to go so far. There is good, and there is evil, and I''ll say I''m polarized to get as close to good and far from evil as possible. BUT we respect the intrinsic dignity of every person, regardless of religion, politics, economics, race. \r\n\r\n-put loving God and loving one another above any strict doctrine.\r\nIt seems to me that in stating this, it *becomes* your strict doctrine. And I agree with it. \r\n\r\nThanks for reading my little contribution. Hope you don''t mind, coming from a stumble upon-ner whom you don''t know! I hear what you''re saying about people being hurt by past religious experience; I kinda like to think I''m anti-religious. Again, beautiful blog!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.10) Gecko/2009042316 Firefox/3.0.10', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(2480, 343, 'SurrealSparrow', 'acts16_25@yahoo.com', 'http://surrealsparrow.wordpress.com', '98.66.40.126', '2009-05-04 14:37:04', '2009-05-04 18:37:04', '"When I’m walking, I’m able to focus in a way that’s not always possible when I’m sitting still."\r\n\r\nOH.  I think you''re really on to something there; I have felt that, too, but never consciously acknowledged it.  I am going to purposely try this immediately, ha.  Great post.\r\n\r\n--Sparrow, from Divine Nobodies', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-US; rv:1.9.0.10) Gecko/2009042316 Firefox/3.0.10', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2947, 353, 'Dave Thurston', 'dave@orangeshirtguy.com', 'http://www.orangeshirtguy.com', '70.217.243.243', '2009-05-19 13:48:30', '2009-05-19 17:48:30', 'You know what people say about an Apple computer, "It Just Works."  Good church is like that.\r\n\r\nI''ve been pondering this.  "Church is were I can rest, communicate, question, ponder, hug, laugh, cry, and love.  Sometimes I feel it in rooms with stained-glass.  Always, I can see it in children''s eyes.  \r\n\r\n"The Bible, Jesus, God are excellent means to an end.  There are other means to the same end"\r\n\r\nI love the way that you''ve described it - to this midwesterner it is that overwhelming feeling of "Gosh, how lucky am I that I''m in the middle of this, this, this Moment."', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 7.0; Windows NT 5.1; GTB6; .NET CLR 1.1.4322; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; .NET CLR 3.0.4506.2152; .NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(2281, 326, 'Cheryl Ensom Dack', 'roseyposeyclothes@yahoo.com', 'http://www.roseyposeyconfections.blogspot.com', '71.138.18.38', '2009-04-14 13:19:57', '2009-04-14 17:19:57', 'That makes total sense, Kristin...that we would feel restless, uncomfortable, sorta "itchy" and generally dissatisfied when how we feel inside and what''s going on outside doesn''t match up. Sometimes I think this happens when something is shifting on the inside that I may not even be able to identify or name yet, but my spirit senses there''s not a spot for that yet, because I have based decisions, relationships, beliefs, lifestyle or whatever on something that is in some way incongruent with the new whatever-it-is. The silly image that pops in my mind is trying to put my toddler in one of those pajama "zip suits" with the feet in them that is a size too small. I can remember how that feels, too! Pulls at your shoulders, makes it hard to sit down, pinches your toes and is generally pretty miserable. But there''s no way to make the thing bigger! You simply must get the next size. And until you do, the growth is not something to be enjoyed. It pinches. I am feeling pinched at the moment myself. Though I know that means I''ve grown inside, or at least changed in some way, it''s hard to appreciate, embrace or incorporate this into my life comfortably. But I''ve also learned from experience that hopping out of my zip suit, willy-nilly, means running around buck naked for awhile, which can lead to all sorts of problems and even hurt the people I love unnecessarily. So I think the answer (I think!) is cutting the feet off my zip suit until I find the next size up. My feet get cold but I think I''ll just put on some comfy socks until I find a new zip suit. I want one of those blue ones with the clouds on it, I think....', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (iPod; U; CPU iPhone OS 2_2_1 like Mac OS X; en-us) AppleWebKit/525.18.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/3.1.1 Mobile/5H11a Safari/525.20', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
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(2130, 310, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '76.195.221.228', '2009-03-30 11:25:09', '2009-03-30 15:25:09', 'karendaisy17, girl, you aren''t responsible for my exhaustion, in the least! You completely made my trip. Not only did I get to meet you in person and hang out twice, but you were my personal concierge, directing me to great bookstores, wireless networks, and the best cocktails in the city! (I can''t believe you let my Jager bomb reference go by without a horrified response!)\r\n\r\nNisha, I can completely picture you loving New York. I really get the attraction to the endless possibility that comes with having so much to do and see. It''s that very push and pull that gets to me—the very things I love most about the city are the very things that exhaust me. Life is often like that, isn''t it? (Thanks for enlightening me about the fireball!)', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.7) Gecko/2009021906 Firefox/3.0.7', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2282, 326, 'Ashley', 'ashleygvelez@gmail.com', 'http://www.ashleygraceless.com', '68.153.33.3', '2009-04-14 16:33:24', '2009-04-14 20:33:24', 'I feel the restlessness, too.  Cheryl, I can totally identify with what you said.  I constantly feel like I''m being pulled apart at too many angles and none of them are precisely what I want, and I think it''s worse because it''s springtime ("nearly everybody gets twitterpated in the springtime" - Bambi).   Most days I feel like I have my two selves - my dayjob self which includes all the bill-paying, all the financially-related minutiae of my day, and my creative self, in which my second job (a creative writer''s assistant) thrives.  That''s where my blogging and writing focus goes when I actually have a focus, and I fear that my dayjob self  is sucking the life out of my creative self.  \r\n\r\nGreat post, Kristin!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032608 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(5350, 445, 'Katie Z.', 'katie.z.dawson@gmail.com', 'http://salvagedfaith.blogspot.com', '69.66.71.163', '2009-08-17 13:04:30', '2009-08-17 17:04:30', 'I think the big thing we are discussing here is what the purpose of marriage is.  \r\n\r\nSome of the answers I can discern from these comments, article, and blog are (in no particular order):\r\n\r\na) a healthy, preferred means to have and raise children.\r\nb) an archaic religious convention\r\nc) an option among many for a long term committed relationship.\r\nd) a relationship built on understanding, respect, commitment\r\ne) a civil contract\r\nf) a religious covenant\r\ng) the only appropriate relationship for sexual activity.\r\nh) a commitment between two individuals who grow and change and fluxuate throughout time\r\ni) forever. \r\nj) the "end goal" / final stage of commitment\r\n\r\nTo be honest - we don''t have one definition of marriage in the world today.  Technically, as far as my state (Iowa) is concerned - "marriage is a civil contract\r\nbetween two persons who must be (1) 18 years of age or older; (2) not already or still legally married to someone else or to each other; (3) not closely related by blood or first cousins; and (4) legally competent to enter into a civil contract." But that''s not the same as the next state over, and that in no way defines what any justice of the peace or licensed/ordained clergy person may require or how they may define it. \r\n\r\nIn other words, this is a great discussion to be having!!! =)', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 7.0; Windows NT 5.1; .NET CLR 1.0.3705; .NET CLR 1.1.4322; .NET CLR 2.0.50727)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(5351, 445, 'Ryan', 'scotly@gmail.com', 'http://henzabits.net', '24.10.167.254', '2009-08-17 13:09:29', '2009-08-17 17:09:29', 'Genevieve,\r\n1-If they think marriage means nothing, then at least they found someone who thinks likewise.\r\n2-Those I know who had premarital sex (and especially those who had children before marriage) have had more marital problems than those who have married, waited to have sex, and waited to have children. These are all family members and friends--not just my insistence.\r\n3-I doubt people having premarital sex think anything of divorce. Why would they? That''s why they''re having premarital sex. But if they were considering marriage, and they knew their partner had lived unmarried with other partners before, don''t you think that would factor into the equation?\r\n4-okay.\r\n5-"definitely" is too strong a word, but I think it makes your point. However, marriage is in no way cookie cutter. Socially, it''s a formal act that signifies two individuals'' dedication to each other. Why would two people who really love each other not want that?\r\n6-Those rising numbers scare me just as much as unwise early marriage scares me. \r\n7-I think here I''d have to say "lay off," your hubris is showing through. In no way are these children screwed up. They miss the opportunity to have the strength I know a traditional marriage brings, but by no means are they forsaken or without support. Single moms, broken families, unfortunate death of a parent, and yes, even unmarried parents--these are the things children live with every day and when these situations don''t serve to weaken and bring despair, they strengthen and give these individuals resolve to do better and try harder. But it''s not ideal.\r\n\r\nMy goal is not a mild happiness and respect. I want perfection. I won''t make it now or in this life, but I want it. I''m trying to do what it takes to get it. And it takes a lot--a lot of hard work, a lot of praying, evaluating, and tireless trial and error. Some people don''t want that. They don''t want to work that hard for what they see as un-beneficial. They think they have better things to do. How could I judge poorly of them? Some days that''s me. That''s all of us. But I would want to encourage them to learn something better. People will live differently whether I like it or not; my main concern is whether I''m setting a worthy example or not.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.1; en-US) AppleWebKit/530.5 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/2.0.172.39 Safari/530.5', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(3796, 383, 'Elaine Tolsma-Harlow', 'reoharlow@hotmail.com', '', '24.231.246.103', '2009-06-18 10:18:03', '2009-06-18 14:18:03', 'Our crazy, terrifying journeys through life do have unexpected and wonderful rewards.  Enjoy your experience in Portland.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_5_7; en-us) AppleWebKit/530.17 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0 Safari/530.17', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
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(2284, 326, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2009-04-14 23:58:55', '2009-04-15 03:58:55', 'Cheryl, this is very perceptive: "Sometimes I think this happens when something is shifting on the inside that I may not even be able to identify or name yet, but my spirit senses there’s not a spot for that yet...." Also, I love the whole footsie PJs analogy! Perfect (and hilarious)! That too-tight feeling is one you never forget. It sounds like you''re in a good, if slightly uncomfortable, spot in your life. Keep thinking and listening.\r\n\r\nAshley, you''ve been struggling with these two lives/selves for a while, it seems. But when it comes to your creativity and vocation, I think you know deep down what you really want. Am I right? Even if it seems complicated? Do you know what you''d ask that fairy godmother for? If so, be grateful for the knowing. Maybe working toward that goal will help calm some of the restlessness—along with the passing of spring, of course. :) \r\n\r\nTrina, you bring up the important distinction between what we want and what we need. I really hope some day I can reach the point that you describe. I want to be able to just relax in the nothingness—I guess that would be the "floating the current" option I describe at the end of my post—but my restlessness makes me struggle against it.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032608 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(3782, 383, 'Cobalt-Blue', 'michelle.feelingroovy@gmail.com', '', '70.229.37.222', '2009-06-18 00:56:10', '2009-06-18 04:56:10', 'I presume that you and your ex-husband have somewhat of a respectful relationship being that you so openly share you divorce and life there after. Does he ever read your blog and comment to you or others?  What does he think about your writings on divorce and children? I apologize if I crossed any blogger/reader lines by my questioning. It is not my intention to disrespect you. I am just curious. Congrats on reading in Powell''s.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_5_7; en-us) AppleWebKit/530.17 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0 Safari/530.17', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(7570, 557, 'Trina', 'colour144@yahoo.com', '', '75.159.55.207', '2010-01-21 22:46:36', '2010-01-22 02:46:36', 'You have honoured your Grandma well. Talking about feelings is hard sometimes, eh? I miss my Nana, it''s been 15yrs. Best, Trina', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-GB; rv:1.9.1.7) Gecko/20091221 Firefox/3.5.7 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(5347, 445, 'Ryan', 'scotly@gmail.com', 'http://henzabits.net', '24.10.167.254', '2009-08-17 12:39:13', '2009-08-17 16:39:13', 'Jason, you''re quick to cite research but slow to explain it. If your goal is sex, by all means move in. If your goal is healthy, happy children in a stable marriage, don''t have premarital sex. The research you cite on cohabitation mentions the increase in divorce if children are involved. Thinking cohabitation doesn''t matter is thinking too short-sighted. It''s thinking selfishly. If one argument will stick out to you in my jumble of words, it''s that the children matter. They matter more than you and me. I''m using the example of a healthy, committed marriage as the best way to raise good children. If you can''t see that by looking around in the "real world" or in your own life, then no matter of research will convince you either.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.1; en-US) AppleWebKit/530.5 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/2.0.172.39 Safari/530.5', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(5348, 445, 'Genevieve Charet', 'genny_charet@ameritech.net', 'http://thealchemistblog.wordpress.com', '69.211.106.209', '2009-08-17 12:39:41', '2009-08-17 16:39:41', 'Ryan, you''re making several false assumptions that are entirely supporting your arguments:\r\n1-People who have premarital sex have no self-control, and do not choose to ever control their sexual urges or use them selectively (not true), and that they are commitment-phobic, selfish, and undisciplined.  How about the possibility that they just disagree that marriage means something special?  How about, while you''ve built your concept of sexuality around one, certain tradition, they''ve built it around another?\r\n2-Premarital sex is damaging and broken in the first place--you''ve provided no convincing evidence for that, only your own insistence.  In fact, premarital abstinence was NOT a part of early Church teachings, and only came into regular application once issues of primogeniture and verifying paternity for property inheritance became an issue.  Check it out.\r\n3-People who have premarital sex assume the likelihood of divorce--while this may be true of some people, I''ve found that more assume the likelihood of divorce in a rushed courtship.\r\n4-The entire point of marriage is happy, heaven-worthy children--I suppose that''s entirely a matter of opinion, and I heartily disagree.\r\n5-That the other commenters on this post all believe that early marriage will definitely lead to dysfunctional relationships or divorces--I don''t think anyone''s saying that.  Most seem to just think the pressure to apply the early marriage solution to all relationships is too cookie-cutter to work for everyone.  \r\n6-People who have premarital sex do not want children--I think the numbers would prove you wrong there.  Many, many unmarried couples (who either don''t want marriage at this point or know they never will) want children and already have children who were wanted and anticipated.  Those numbers are growing.  \r\n7-Children of unmarried parents are screwed up and feel that their parents are undisciplined and unloving.  The only children who feel that way are the ones who are genuinely products of bad relationships (often married ones).  Or children who''ve spoken to you about how much you disapprove of their parents.  \r\n\r\nI''ve seen healthy relationships between people who did not have premarital sex.  And I''m willing to acknowledge that there''s a place for that.  But I''ve seen more relationships (the vast majority of contemporary relationships) that included premarital sex, relationships which have been healthy and thriving for years.  So Ryan, I''ll give you two choices, just like the ones you gave us: 1--continue to close your eyes to the reality around you, and insist that any relationships that include sex outside of marriage are doomed, bad, and sick (in other words, look for the negatives in a situation that doesn''t meet with your approval; or 2--Be open to the possibility that each conflicting opinion on this post represents a separate path to happiness and respect, that people who live differently from you have just as much a shot as you do.  \r\n\r\nThanks for the rousing debate!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_4_11; en) AppleWebKit/530.19.2 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0.2 Safari/530.19', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(6632, 514, 'Ron Simkins', 'simkins@Illinois.edu', '', '70.225.177.4', '2009-10-31 12:58:38', '2009-10-31 16:58:38', 'Response to Credis:\r\nYou probably are pretty intelligent and I am as well; however there are people all over the 21st century world with higher intelligence than either you or I reflect, and some of them are convinced that there is an active and involved personal God as the Judeo-Christian scriptures claim, and some of them are convinced that there is nothing in the universe other than the human mind that gives any content to any form of the word "god."  I resent it when Christians make comments about those who do not agree with them indicating a lack of intelligence, and it doesn''t work any better when it comes from those who do not share my experience or trust in ''the God and Father of Jesus the Messiah."    I try to make sure that at least half of my serious reading involves reading smart people who disagree with my deepest paradigms and experiences of reality.  You might try reading Pulkinghorne the English Royal Physist who speaks to your comments on "hope" in his recent book, or the sociologist Rodney Stark who provides reams of data to indicate that your reconstruction of the history of faith as primitive and unintelligent is out of touch with a lot of reality, etc.  You may not find them convincing, but any honest reading will not find them lacking in intelligence, nor will it find them fearful, nor will it find them unwilling to look at other points of view.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 8.0; Windows NT 6.0; Trident/4.0; SLCC1; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; Media Center PC 5.0; .NET CLR 3.5.30729; .NET CLR 3.0.30729; OfficeLiveConnector.1.4; OfficeLivePatch.1.3)', '', 0, 0, 'Y');
INSERT INTO `wp_d8mand_comments` (`comment_ID`, `comment_post_ID`, `comment_author`, `comment_author_email`, `comment_author_url`, `comment_author_IP`, `comment_date`, `comment_date_gmt`, `comment_content`, `comment_karma`, `comment_approved`, `comment_agent`, `comment_type`, `comment_parent`, `user_id`, `comment_subscribe`) VALUES
(5344, 445, 'Ryan', 'scotly@gmail.com', 'http://henzabits.net', '24.10.167.254', '2009-08-17 12:09:50', '2009-08-17 16:09:50', 'It seems the article and comments are geared towards adapting to a broken system instead of fixing the system. People can''t control their sexual desires, so they have premarital sex. Now we have to make premarital sex okay and un-damaging, so let''s make up some arguments to support that. And divorce is painful and expensive, and it''s bound to happen, so let''s not get married but demand everything that marriage entails. Because obviously we''re going to be different people in a few years, and what if I decide I don''t like him, and what if I just can''t stand the way he butters his bread! In short, because I know by nature I''m selfish and undisciplined, I''m going to rework the system to cater to selfish and undisciplined people and expect everything to be great. Because fixing myself is too much trouble, might as well give in and create a new social system to justify my lack of trying.\r\n\r\nThe social evidence abounds when it comes to the effects of live-in relationships and the negative effects of pre-martial relations. But think of it this way. Think that the end goal is a stable, secure relationship in which children can be raised to become the best people they can. And you have two ways (with infinite variations) to get there. One, you bring two people together that can "commit" enough to have sex, but only want the sex, everything selfish, and no commitment beyond that, and if kids come along it''s going to be a big pain, and of course there is less need to actually work things out and put everything into the relationship because hey! you''re not married!\r\n\r\nOr...\r\n\r\nBring together two people raised to have self-control, put the needs of others before their own--yes, let''s put these two people together, let them commit to a lasting relationship, and let them have the goal of raising children, children they actually want, and teaching them too to control themselves and put the needs of the family first.\r\n\r\nThink of the strength a child would have knowing his or her parents were, are, and always will be committed to each other and the needs of the family before their own selfish desires? Then think of the social disconnect, the fear of commitment, the doubt of stability a child would have knowing their parent''s relationship was founded on their inability to control themselves.\r\n\r\nYou say, have sex before marriage because trying to control it will only lead to an early, unwise decision to marry. I say, your control is no control at all; you''re not truly in control if you can''t make a wise decision about marriage before doing it. So, abstinence before marriage, yes, which by logic concludes control before marriage. You say, until I''m mature and able to commit I won''t get married, but I might as well have sex in the meantime. I say, you underestimate the damage premarital sex will cause. I promise you premarital sex will do your future relationship no favors. On the other hand, abstinence will give your future marriage much needed trust and confidence, knowing your spouse has controlled themselves and put your before any other.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.1; en-US) AppleWebKit/530.5 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/2.0.172.39 Safari/530.5', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(5345, 445, 'Jason', 'brechinj@gmail.com', 'http://cleverfoodblog.blogspot.com', '141.142.232.38', '2009-08-17 12:10:52', '2009-08-17 16:10:52', 'NB: While abstinence is a popular idea in churches, it appears to not be very popular in the real world: "by age 44, 95% of respondents had had premarital sex."\r\nFrom data on people from 1950s to 2003:\r\nhttp://www.publichealthreports.org/userfiles/122_1/12_PHR122-1_73-78.pdf', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US) AppleWebKit/530.5 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/2.0.172.37 Safari/530.5', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(5346, 445, 'Jason', 'brechinj@gmail.com', 'http://cleverfoodblog.blogspot.com', '141.142.232.38', '2009-08-17 12:23:54', '2009-08-17 16:23:54', 'Ryan - Recent research suggests that premarital cohabitation DOESN''T have a negative impact - http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2008-07-28-cohabitation-research_N.htm\r\n\r\nYou''re mixing too many ideas here.  Sex does not define one''s ability to control themselves.  Don''t you think there can be commitment without marriage?  Of course, some of your wording strongly points to the gay marriage issue, but I suppose that''s off-topic here.\r\n\r\nIf you need abstinence until marriage to have trust and confidence in your relationship, then you have other issues to tackle.  There''s so much more to a relationship, a marriage, than your sexual experience.  Your relationship, your marriage, should likewise be based on more than just that.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US) AppleWebKit/530.5 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/2.0.172.37 Safari/530.5', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
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(7349, 552, 'Sam', 'sundayschoolrebel@yahoo.com', 'http://www.sundayschoolrebel.typepad.com', '98.239.18.198', '2010-01-08 18:57:36', '2010-01-08 22:57:36', 'I love how epiphanies happen in the most ordinary way. For me, it will happen when I''m doing the ordinary, everyday stuff - unloading the dishwasher, cleaning up the kitchen, driving down the road - I get hit with an AHA! sort of thought. \r\n\r\nIn my experience, they don''t always happen when I''m at my lowest - though I have had that happen - but when I''m at a dead end of my thinking process (a very tangled, not logical process, it must be said). When I feel like I am boxed into a corner of Whatever. \r\n\r\nI loved reading Violet''s ephiphany, by the way. \r\n\r\nYeep - excited at the possibility of a chance at Flock!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US) AppleWebKit/532.0 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/3.0.195.38 Safari/532.0', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(6252, 472, 'Yira', 'yirabella@gmail.com', 'http://earlymorningpeace.blogspot.com', '68.13.210.170', '2009-10-01 00:35:54', '2009-10-01 04:35:54', 'Hi\r\nI just came over from Lance''s site where I posted my love list.  I want to tell you that it really does feel good to go there again, to dig deep and realize what we love and why.  I think I will tell each my kid and hubby about these special memories.  If I like them I know they will too.  Thanks for this fantastic project.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.1) Gecko/20090624 Firefox/3.5', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(5687, 460, 'bookhouseboy', 'gregorytaylor@cableone.net', '', '24.117.147.122', '2009-08-31 23:40:43', '2009-09-01 03:40:43', 'Thanks so much for saying it all so well, so calmly, so sensibly. Here are a few of the things that got me riled:\r\n\r\n1. Readers'' Workshop is not new. Most good language arts teachers I know have been doing some version of it for a long time.\r\n\r\n2. Too many people have discussed this issue as if it''s either/or. As you so aptly point out, there are times for rigorous nutrition, and times to splurge on dessert. Neither is as satisfying alone, in the long run.\r\n\r\n3. Most people who have advocated most intensely for the self-selection-all-the-time position are avid readers. Sure, YOU got a rich experience out of your self-selected reading; you were reading voraciously. That''s not true for everyone. \r\n\r\n(And sure, those reluctant readers need the fun stuff if they are ever going to become independent, life-long readers. But they also need some solid, explicit modeling of how good readers think, process, and analyze. Reading a novel as a whole class, talking about it, digging into it, gives everyone practice at doing that. Even the kids who don''t participate much and aren''t very good at it still get to watch it, hear it, soak it in.)\r\n\r\n4. Whole-class novels don''t have to be "classics." Fifty years ago "To Kill a Mockingbird" was a brand new best-seller, and someone had to be the first brave English teacher to say it was worth buying for every single kid in her class. Lots of teachers I know use contemporary, relevant, "fun" novels for whole-class reading.\r\n\r\n5. Classics don''t have to be boring! "Romeo and Juliet" was consistently the most popular piece of literature we read as a whole class when I taught Freshman English. That''s probably because *I* loved it, and that transferred to how I taught it and how the kids received it. We read every word aloud, figured it out, acted it out, looked at film clips, hunted for the dirty jokes hidden amid the Elizabethan language, talked a LOT about why the characters did and said what they did, and OWNED that play by the end of the quarter. Hollandaise sauce!!\r\n\r\n6. Reading CAN be a delightfully communal activity, as you also point out. People join book clubs, attend group discussions, engage in lively debate online, and participate in community "one book" projects... BY CHOICE. And usually we DON''T get to pick the book personally. So reading a common title, even one someone else chooses for you, and then talking about it must be a satisfying experience for a whole lot of people! \r\n\r\nFinally: I think what Laurachris2 says about a shared literary and cultural foundation is valid. The broader one''s cultural literacy, the richer one''s life experience. And look at all those writers karendaisy17 would never have discovered on her own without a class or a teacher leading her there. I could create a similar list. Personally, I''m glad I''ve had teachers who handed me some broccoli to augment my nachos and pizza.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.1.2) Gecko/20090729 Firefox/3.5.2', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(5685, 460, 'karendaisy17', 'karennachbar@yahoo.com', '', '68.173.74.168', '2009-08-31 20:33:47', '2009-09-01 00:33:47', 'This article made me scream when I read it yesterday.  I''m all for encouraging kids to read what appeals to them, but to have self-selected reading replace required reading in the classroom seems outrageous to me, and a disservice to the students.  I was a voracious reader when I was kid - I''d rather be curled up with my nose in a book than be anywhere else (fittingly, I was the daughter of a high school librarian and a former math teacher).  I was encouraged to read whatever I wanted, and no one told me to put down the Danielle Steele novels.  But I never would have discovered the joys of Toni Morrison, Maya Angelou, Jane Austen, or Dickens if someone hadn''t required me to read them - and Pride and Prejudice, which I read for the first time in high school, is still my favorite book in the entire world.  I certainly wouldn''t have picked up Shakespeare.  And I loved to read.  \r\n\r\nYou mention the communal aspect of reading - and I would take it even one step further - think of all the cultural and literary references that come from the reading of classics.  Aren''t these things that future generations should know?', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_5_8; en-us) AppleWebKit/530.19.2 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0.2 Safari/530.19', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(7325, 551, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2010-01-07 13:01:33', '2010-01-07 17:01:33', 'karen/daisy17, it''s strange, because I lived with it for so long without knowing that I was depressed—I just thought that was how life felt! Now when I sense it creeping in, I feel in one sense more scared and panicked, because I know what it is, but in another sense more calm, because I know it can''t completely take over. Anyway, thanks for standing by me. You all help me to be more brave.\r\n\r\nerin, it sounds like you and I are SO similar. When I first moved to this town, I was so depressed that I was completely incapable of meeting people and making friends. This is VERY unusual for me. I felt like I had become a completely different person. I''m the type who usually starts chatting with other moms at the park and before you know it we''ve exchanged phone numbers and set up a coffee date. I''m so glad I now know what was going on, and can keep tabs on red flags like that. I definitely want to reach this place you''ve reached: "i don’t really feel a stigma attached to it anymore because i’ve discovered how common it is." And yes, we especially need to get there in the church.\r\n\r\nVicki, YES, that''s weird. The stigma looms very large in that way. You described life without drugs in a way I completely relate to: They help you "avoid breaking into tears over something nonconsequential, prevent minor frustration and stress from flaring into anger." Sometimes it seems like the knobs are being adjusted ever so slightly, but that those adjustments are the difference between a good life and a miserable one. Thanks for speaking up here—it''s good to "meet" you (at least I don''t think we''ve ever met before).\r\n\r\nElaine, you''re exactly right: "I think the Christian community has made the subject of depression even more taboo. I believe it is the perception if we have the joy of the Lord we won’t be depressed…right?" And it makes me SO mad. Now that I''ve stepped out on this limb, by sharing my story, it makes me want to take on this important mission full-force! Thanks for all your support along the way.\r\n\r\nMeredith, thank you. It''s so good to know people are supportive, and there are other bloggers like you who are paving the way for more honesty and openness. \r\n\r\nroxanne, I completely admire your ability to not just blog about this, but to put it right in the title of your blog! I feel like I''ve only taken baby steps, but it''s all part of the bigger story and picture, right? "The secrecy fuels the stigma" indeed, and we can all work together to chip away at it, from different angles.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.16) Gecko/2009120206 Firefox/3.0.16', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(7350, 552, 'Ashley', 'ashley@theregistree.com', 'http://www.paisleyanndesign.com', '71.9.20.196', '2010-01-08 20:05:44', '2010-01-09 00:05:44', 'Wow, darkness is like a gem for me.  It is literally the place that makes me look up. Frankly, it is one of the only places that changes me.  It is the shreaking pain of uncertainty, the sudden feeling of a loss of control (when I realize my husband is in a platonic friendship with a female co-worker, and I can''t possibly keep him all to myself) or when the tingling in my fingers makes me fear that I have m.s. and that I will lose functioning.  That darkness heals me as I enter it and look at it and surrender it.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.17) Gecko/2009122115 Firefox/3.0.17', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(4709, 418, 'Elaine Tolsma-Harlow', 'reoharlow@hotmail.com', '', '24.231.246.211', '2009-07-17 17:31:23', '2009-07-17 21:31:23', 'Just a month ago I wrote this poem out (well the first couple lines) and stuck it in my car :).  I guess great minds think alike.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_5_7; en-us) AppleWebKit/530.19.2 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0.2 Safari/530.19', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(5684, 460, 'Meredith', 'meridethdabek@hotmail.com', 'http://www.ordinarymer.com', '75.69.164.218', '2009-08-31 19:32:07', '2009-08-31 23:32:07', 'At the risk of being a devil''s advocate...\r\n\r\nI''m definitely in favor of reading the classics - I was an English major, so I read my fair share and grew to love them. But now, though I''m not a parent or teacher, I do work with kids in the classroom and so many of them say to me that they would not read if they didn''t like the book. \r\n\r\nClassics are great - they''re classic for a reason. But not everyone likes them. Some kids prefer other kinds of stories or other kinds of writing. So when they''re required to read books they don''t like in school, they begin to develop a dislike for reading in general. Then, when the time comes that they can read whatever they want, they choose not to b/c at that point they''ve learned to not like reading. \r\n\r\nI don''t suggest getting rid of the classics altogether. But there can be a way to work them in. For instance, if kids liked the Percy Jackson series, maybe getting them to read nonfiction about Greek mythology and history could eventually lead to The Odyssey and the Iliad. Or if they like monster and vampire stories, find a way to introduce Frankenstein and Dracula. \r\n\r\nIf the choice is between reading whatever they want and not reading at all, certainly we''d prefer having kids read something - even if it''s not what we would choose for them.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.4; en-US; rv:1.9.0.13) Gecko/2009073021 Firefox/3.0.13', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(2286, 328, 'Jennifer', 'hollyhousestudio@me.com', 'http://hollyhouse.blogspot.com', '70.177.70.72', '2009-04-15 13:08:18', '2009-04-15 17:08:18', 'Hm. This is chock full, girl. When we lived in Tulsa for three years, Kurt started casting about for a job closer to PA. God closed some doors, HARD. Then I had to come to grips with the fact that I live HERE, not there. So I reached out, I made friends, I got involved. Now, this is my home. It would difficult to leave. \r\n\r\nBut I don''t necessarily thing that online technologies are to blame for the erosion of community. Yes, now we can give online to vastly different places, but it no  different than my grandfather mailing in his tithe check because he didn''t go to the building. In fact, I think one of the benefits of Twitter that I was thinking about today is that I have discovered whole new aspects of the community around me through that medium. I think community is where you look for it and strive to make it. \r\n\r\nThen again....', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032608 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2287, 328, 'Jason', 'brechinj@gmail.com', 'http://cleverfoodblog.blogspot.com/', '141.142.232.38', '2009-04-15 13:14:45', '2009-04-15 17:14:45', 'I think people have always had a bias toward permanence.  In this college town it can be hard for people to put effort into making friends with people that you know are moving away.  Maybe it''s in 6 months, or maybe it''s years away, but since we''re planning on staying, we want to have friends that will be here as long as we will.  The online world gives a certain persistence that transcends physical location, and that gives people a sense of comfort.  Besides, there are so many people who don''t know (or don''t want to know) their neighbors.  It''s easier to go online and pick people whom you want to commune with than putting in the work to get along with neighbors you didn''t choose.\r\n\r\nI guess I''m Gen Y, so I have a hard time accepting stereotypes like this, but I do see a lot of other people around my age constantly focusing on text messages and Facebook status changes.  I think it''s important that people find a community to be a part of, whether it''s in your neighborhood, in your religious organization, or online.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032609 Firefox/3.0.8 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(2289, 328, 'Rebecca', 'rlthorman@gmail.com', 'http://modite.com/blog', '69.128.50.90', '2009-04-15 17:40:20', '2009-04-15 21:40:20', 'Wow, great post. Your question at the end is something I worry about a lot. And it''s actually one of the first posts that I disagreed with on Employee Evolution that prompted me to comment, which prompted me to blog, and, well, you know the rest of the story. I think this is one of the most important issues right now... I feel a bit like I''m sitting on the edge of my seat waiting to see how it will all play out. Thanks for writing this.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032609 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2290, 328, 'Jason', 'brechinj@gmail.com', 'http://cleverfoodblog.blogspot.com', '98.228.58.156', '2009-04-15 17:41:49', '2009-04-15 21:41:49', 'Indeed some churches (like the non-Christian church we attend) ask members to give half of what one would normally give to the church, and the other half directly to charitable organizations of their choice.  Also, half the cash offering on Sundays goes to a local organization chosen each month.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US) AppleWebKit/525.19 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/1.0.154.53 Safari/525.19', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(7411, 552, 'the holly', 'happydaydeadfish@gmail.com', 'http://happydaydeadfish.blogspot.com', '74.93.112.113', '2010-01-12 13:13:41', '2010-01-12 17:13:41', 'i feel like i''ve experienced too many dark places in my life. they usually happen when my values are being challenged or when transition is occurring. some of the darkest places have occurred when i''ve lived with people struggling with deep depression. its hard to know how to encourage and not enable, how to love and not excuse, how to be present and care for oneself. there have been some dark, dark times.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_5_8; en-US) AppleWebKit/532.5 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/4.0.249.49 Safari/532.5', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(7412, 553, 'Nicola', 'nicolasysyn@yahoo.com', '', '66.213.196.2', '2010-01-12 13:38:12', '2010-01-12 17:38:12', 'Kristin-\r\n\r\nThis was an interesting post and made me think of my friends in the categories you outlined, which was a useful exercise! Having moved across the country almost 3 years ago from PA to OR, it has definitely taken a toll on our friendships.\r\n\r\nI feel fortunate to have a Category 1 friend here in my sister, but I miss my 2 closest Category 1''s from PA. We also have 4 couples that are category 2 friends now, so I think we''re doing pretty well. We don''t have many category 4 friends, which is fine because that''s the least useful group for me. \r\n\r\nI am a very social person, but not one who instinctively gathers a large group around me. I have had to make an effort to reach out since moving here and it has been worthwhile! In fact, I may be slowly turning into a friend gatherer...someone who pulls people in and mixes different groups. I''ve always aspired to that!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 8.0; Windows NT 5.1; Trident/4.0; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; InfoPath.2; .NET CLR 1.1.4322; .NET CLR 3.0.4506.2152; .NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2150, 313, 'Delighted Scribbler', 'delightedscribbler@gmail.com', 'http://delightedscribbler.blogspot.com', '76.255.104.69', '2009-03-31 11:39:21', '2009-03-31 15:39:21', 'I know what you mean when you talk about a hunger for nostalgia. And you''re right, the memories that stay with us are completely unpredictable, filled with details perhaps no one else but you noticed and really obvious facts you missed because the most lasting part is the feeling of being nestled among the people you love.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X; en-US; rv:1.8.1.14) Gecko/20080404 Firefox/2.0.0.14', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2294, 328, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '76.199.8.184', '2009-04-16 12:28:09', '2009-04-16 16:28:09', 'Jennifer, you make a good point: "I think community is where you look for it and strive to make it." It''s what we invest in a community that matters most (time, energy, emotion, and $$). I''ve seen really powerful examples of that online, and I''ve seen really crappy examples of physical neighborhoods filled with homeowners who don''t know or care about each other at all. Maybe what needs to change is that more people need to see and experience the value of being a part of a connected, supportive community, so they''ll have reason to become change agents in their own circles. Maybe one of the ways to make that happen is for those of us who have had these really positive experiences need to keep telling our stories about them. :)\r\n\r\nJason, I''m really glad you brought up the aspect of living in a very transient college town. That adds a whole dimension of complexity, that I''ve struggled with repeatedly since moving here. Also, I couldn''t agree more with this: "It’s easier to go online and pick people whom you want to commune with than putting in the work to get along with neighbors you didn’t choose." Are we willing to be neighborly with everyone, or just with the cool neighbors we have a lot in common with? I have a tendency to over-romanticize ideas like community, but in reality, it''s work. It''s not just about inviting your favorite neighbors over for a cook-out. (Regarding your second comment, what "non-Christian church" do you go to?)\r\n\r\nCheryl, you wrote a guest post! I love it! :) The whole analogy to nature—the farther we get from it the stupider we become about the environment—is a powerful one. And the story about your life in your town? Amazing. You''re right—very few people have every experienced anything like that. And while you and I might both be prone to romanticize such a community, you wisely point out that it has a "not-so-pretty" side. Simply being a solid community does not solve problems. As you say, "...even in a town that is weirdly small and connected, there is a disconnect, an abstract quality, about my “acts of compassion.â€ So much to think about here. I just might have to write a follow up post! (And Jim Palmer''s first book, Divine Nobodies, just arrived yesterday! I''m going to start reading that before moving on to Wide Open Spaces.)\r\n\r\nRebecca, thanks for the inspiration! I''m very curious to see how it plays out, too. It''s kind of exciting that we can all discuss and problem solve together as we look for new ways of doing these things. \r\n\r\nDaisy, I''m sure you''re right. Each generation has caring, involved, curious people, along with careless, self-centered people. It''s not as if the Baby Boomers or Gen-Xers have exactly set the gold standard for how community should work, or how we should care for others. These are the generations who built back decks and privacy fences and attached garages, which allow them to avoid interacting with others. Change isn''t a bad thing, at all, but it''s important to look at the past, to see what worked best and to have dialogue about how we can all move forward without completely trampling things we value most.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032608 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2295, 328, 'Jason', 'brechinj@gmail.com', 'http://cleverfoodblog.blogspot.com', '141.142.232.38', '2009-04-16 13:00:49', '2009-04-16 17:00:49', 'We go to the <a href="http://www.uuc-urbana.org/" rel="nofollow">UU church</a> (sometimes).  My wife and I both grew up in varying degrees of (more or less) Catholicism, but we both became disillusioned.  I think we started going to this church about 2 years ago.  We attended my brother''s (Christian) church''s Easter service and were appalled by the message that they had.  We both decided that we wanted to have some sort of church in our (and our kids'') lives, and after doing a fair amount of research, this was the one we ended up at.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US) AppleWebKit/525.19 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/1.0.154.53 Safari/525.19', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(2163, 313, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2009-04-01 11:45:57', '2009-04-01 15:45:57', 'Christy, I love your putt-putt tradition with your dad, and how the score cards are physical mementos of those times. I''ve always loved tradition, too. My husband and I make real efforts to create meaningful traditions for our kids. It''s especially important to us, because we''re a "blended family"—our oldest daughter is his biological daughter, and the younger two are mine. It adds a whole new twist to tradition. We try to take some from each of our pasts and add new details, while also creating entirely new traditions for our new family.\r\n\r\nElaine, that''s a great way to put it: "moving past what is expected of us." The ironic thing about it all, when it comes to parenting, is that the expectations are usually created by other parents, and by marketing and a hundred other prompters, but not by our kids and what they really want (as you point out). It''s good to move beyond those expectations.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.7) Gecko/2009021906 Firefox/3.0.7', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2296, 328, 'Jeb', 'jebdickerson@mac.com', 'http://www.howtomatter.com', '71.237.106.69', '2009-04-16 18:52:01', '2009-04-16 22:52:01', 'If your post wasn''t so awesome and, therefore, didn''t encourage reams of digital responses, I would have read every word and been much more prepared for this comment. But it was. And it did. So I''m not. You''ll have to forgive me if I reiterate some of the sentiments of your other commenters.\r\n\r\nNow then, I''d like to say a word or two about Community. I''ll make this short. This thing we''re doing here, it''s an amazing ice-breaker.  If by some chance I ever travel to the vicinity of Normal (literally or figuratively), I would not hesitate to have a cup of coffee with you and I wouldn''t feel the slightest bit strange. I feel like I know you KT. Of course, that''s great for this online community, but how does that help local communities?\r\n\r\nGood question. I''m an introvert by nature. My wife is the social face of our family. Always has been. Over time, that only gets more and more true. But here''s the thing...because of my interaction with you and a few other particularly gracious and wonderful people, I have been emboldened. Since moving back to Colorado in December, I have attended 3 meetups, where I actually interacted with other people, face to face. In person. Where they could see me. AND...I started my own group (www.DenverLikemind.com) and have had the chance to get to know some really fantastic people (tomorrow is our 3rd meeting :) ). \r\n\r\nIn other words, connecting here has allowed me to connect elsewhere. To feel the warmth and fulfillment that comes from the bonds we''re building online, gets me excited about taking it to the next level and creating those kinds of bonds in my own community, with people I can see and hear and touch. I think this is true for so many people, and if I had this tool available to me when I was 15, I think I would have gone out into the world MUCH more confident and anxious to connect. Think about the social experiment that is High School. Do you think THAT is a good model for community building? \r\n\r\nIt wasn''t for me, and it took connecting with people all over the world to bring me back around to what I firmly believe is the natural human state. Namely, the desire for communion with others. Here, there, everywhere.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_5_6; en-us) AppleWebKit/525.27.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/3.2.1 Safari/525.27.1', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(4489, 411, 'Elaine Tolsma-Harlow', 'reoharlow@hotmail.com', '', '24.231.246.103', '2009-07-10 10:01:15', '2009-07-10 14:01:15', 'Glad you bought the tickets, enjoy!!  It will be worth those extra pbjs for a week...', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_5_7; en-us) AppleWebKit/530.19.2 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0.2 Safari/530.19', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(4491, 411, 'Amy Jone', 'amyjones65@gmail.com', 'http://www.twitter.com/amyjones65', '67.60.39.158', '2009-07-10 10:37:14', '2009-07-10 14:37:14', 'You masterfully explain the concept of "opportunity cost".  Thanks for sharing your inner struggle and for showing us how you found a way to make it work.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-US; rv:1.9.0.11) Gecko/2009060215 Firefox/3.0.11 GTB5 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(4015, 387, 'Celine Rencontre', 'rencontrec@yahoo.com', 'http://www.celibataire-endurci.com/', '89.37.70.100', '2009-06-25 10:06:51', '2009-06-25 14:06:51', 'It sounds like a great experience, thanks for sharing it with us ! To connect the story with the real person, especially these kind of stories, must be very insightful.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; PPC Mac OS X 10.4; en-GB; rv:1.9.0.11) Gecko/2009060214 Firefox/3.0.11', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(5831, 464, 'Sam', 'sundayschoolrebel@yahoo.com', 'http://www.sundayschoolrebel.typepad.com', '75.66.4.241', '2009-09-08 17:33:31', '2009-09-08 21:33:31', 'So far, my favorite comment (taken from a Facebook thread) is from someone who said, "What can you expect when you allow the government to educate your children?" Commence mouth dropping open on my part! \r\n\r\nOh, the comfortable seat of privilege. \r\n\r\nI really do understand that some of the questions in the study material made some parents uncomfortable. That is totally okay, in my book, and you can bet that if "W" would have made a speech to school children, it would have been examined. (And those of us who protested it, would have been labeled unpatriotic, don''t you think?)\r\n\r\nIt''s just plain silly how we do cling to fear; when we know the One who has ALREADY won. As Christians, we know that evil does not win in the end. God is always triumphant. These tiny little earth squabbles we have and expend so much energy over are so pointless. \r\n\r\nI really do hope that all parents with school aged children use this as a teaching moment. It''s a great time to say, "Well, I don''t agree with everything that President Obama does in his administration, and I didn''t vote for him, but I think it''s great that he wanted to encourage kids to work hard for their success. What do you think?" And for those parents who do support Obama, it''s just another neat thing about our President, who obviously cares about children and their success in the future. I look forward to the day where we hear from a leader who says, "That speech made the difference to me."', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US) AppleWebKit/530.5 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/2.0.172.43 Safari/530.5', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(5830, 464, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2009-09-08 15:40:37', '2009-09-08 19:40:37', 'Leslie, "fear is a powerful motivator" indeed. As a Twitter friend pointed out about this issue, fear and hatred are easy, but love takes work. People tend to gravitate to what''s easiest, even though it seems like Jesus said something about his way not being easy, (but he makes our burden light). \r\n\r\nAlisa, sounds like another book for my reading list. Thanks! I just noticed today that "fear" is a decent-sized tag on my tag cloud here—it must be on my mind.\r\n\r\nWendy, I''m so glad you added that great verse about perfect love driving out fear. Instead of testing that maxim, it''s this, I''m sad to say, that seems prevalent: "...maybe some are afraid that we will begin to truly love them, and love makes you do all kinds of crazy things, like listening instead of doing all the talking, and admitting when you’re wrong, and giving things up for the good of others...." \r\n\r\nNeal, yes, I''m afraid of things, too, and will be asking myself the same question—what am I afraid of and how is that fear shaping me? Thanks for jumping in here!\r\n\r\nGail, I couldn''t agree more. I''ve written before about the tricky nature of certain terms—how "Christian" means one thing in one context (like media) and something very different in another (like in my heart and mind, and within my close community). A big part of my aim here is to help pry loose some of these stuck definitions people have, in one direction or the other. I''m giving this a shout-out: Not all people who call themselves Christians are like whatever you imagine them to be! (And by the way, I happen to think the verse you bring up from John 13 is THE litmus test, period.)\r\n\r\nBrian, I hope you are right about the "overwhelming majority of the Christian Faith community" not adhering to these extreme views. When I''m reading blogs and books I like, and spending time with Christians I tend to see eye-to-eye with, I can begin to believe it''s true, but for the most part it really feels like the bulk of people who identify themselves as Christians lean toward the "clanging cymbals" approach. Also, you''re right about these views starting with conservative commentators like Limbaugh &amp; Hannity, but my guess is that a vast majority of their listeners identify as Christians, and tie the two together.\r\n\r\nArchie, "getting people to ask any kind of introspective question is American Christianity’s greatest obstacle." Indeed, and isn''t that the saddest thing in the world? Think of all the introspective questions Jesus asked his disciples, every day. It seems like those types of questions should be at the heart of our day-to-day faith, doesn''t it?', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.13) Gecko/2009073021 Firefox/3.0.13', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(5832, 464, 'Sam', 'sundayschoolrebel@yahoo.com', 'http://www.sundayschoolrebel.typepad.com', '75.66.4.241', '2009-09-08 17:36:23', '2009-09-08 21:36:23', 'And to be very clear, I have nothing but respect and admiration for those who homeschool. I love homeschoolers! I know many people make sacrifices to do so, but when it comes down to it, I do believe it''s a privilege and luxury, much like my own current job as a stay-at-home mom!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US) AppleWebKit/530.5 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/2.0.172.43 Safari/530.5', '', 0, 0, 'N');
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(7398, 553, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2010-01-12 00:33:21', '2010-01-12 04:33:21', 'suzi w., oh, that''s really hard! I''m so sorry, and hope you are surprised by something new and wonderful soon.\r\n\r\nMeredith, that''s a really interesting take on this issue, and a difficult thing to see happening in your life. The distance is growing, yet you feel like there''s nothing you can do to stop it. You make a great point, too, about the different ways we interact with different friends, and how the variety is important. I still think, though, that all the variety is fun and interesting, sort of like traveling to lots of different places, but it''s also exhausting. In contrast, those one or two really close friends always feel like being back *home.* \r\n\r\nThe Sandwich Life, I think it''s extra difficult when you''ve had a wonderful friendship and then lost it, because you''re forever comparing all the other friends and relationships to that ideal. I went through a similar loss almost two years ago, and I''m still trying to come to terms with it.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.16) Gecko/2009120206 Firefox/3.0.16', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
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(3721, 375, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '24.12.200.216', '2009-06-16 12:00:27', '2009-06-16 16:00:27', 'mother shaffer,  you''re absolutely right—we each have our own rules, and we have a right to make them! I could certainly adopt most of your rules as my own, especially the "make me laugh or inspire me" one. I''m just not so sure about the "You don''t have a blog" red flag. I think Twitter can be a great substitute for people who just don''t have time to commit to a "real" blog, but have a lot of interesting things to say and share. (It can also be a great tool to supplement your blog, but I don''t think the two have to go hand-in-hand.)', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.10) Gecko/2009042315 Firefox/3.0.10', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2299, 320, 'Mothershaffer', 'mother.shaffer@gmail.com', 'http://mothershaffer.wordpress.com/', '98.110.225.108', '2009-04-17 07:27:09', '2009-04-17 11:27:09', 'Adorable! Our dog looks really similar..he''s a beagle and pekingese apparently (a "peagle" if you will), but he''s got the pug ''tude for sure. He''s a chewer too, but he figured out what was his pretty quick. Last thing to get thru his head is that although his bed is his, he should not chew it up into pieces because then he will not have a bed....reasoning with animals is tough. Good luck!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032609 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2176, 312, 'Steve Fridsma', 'sfridsma@progressiveae.com', '', '99.180.72.228', '2009-04-02 08:40:04', '2009-04-02 12:40:04', 'Just to clarify, I''m not ashamed of the word "Christian" and I proudly claim it along with millions of heroes of the faith over the centuries. I simply never lead with it to describe myself - and that has opened doors into spiritual conversations that I don''t think I''d have had if I had described myself as a Christian right off the bat. \r\n\r\nAn interesting read on this is the book "Unchristian" by David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons. Outside the 4 walls of the church (and perhaps even within), Christianity has a major image problem in North America. Only 15% of unchurched aged 16-25 has a positive view of the word "Christian". Only 3% has a positive view of the word "Evangelical" and most commonly mistake the term to mean an intolerant, politically active conservative. It''s lost any meaning connection to Jesus. These words have been soured by politics, extremism, judgementalism, homophobia, legalism, and intolerance. But I find that people are still attracted to Jesus.\r\n\r\nKristin: I''ll join you with tagging that line, which appears to be gaining adherence.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 7.0; Windows NT 5.1; .NET CLR 1.0.3705; .NET CLR 1.1.4322; Media Center PC 4.0; .NET CLR 2.0.50727)', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(2177, 312, 'Jennifer', 'hollyhousestudio@me.com', 'http://hollyhouse.blogspot.com', '70.177.70.72', '2009-04-02 09:24:15', '2009-04-02 13:24:15', 'I tell you, this was painful in that "7th grade I left my homework on my bus and didn''t have time to brush my hair and my mom made me wear floods to school" kind of way. The funny thing about the issue you''ve clearly struck a nerve with is that it affects everyone...whether we admit it or not. Labels bind and ascribe, but there are times when a little label is necessary. If you say you are a Christian then it has to be a certain kind, or you risk alienating people. On the other hand if you don''t say Christian, are you denying the largest part of your self.  I like that Blackwasp centers this problem with our individualistic society. i\r\n\r\nI would love to get to that place where I can be who Jesus called me to be and not care if it doesn''t look the way others think it should look. That is a true renewing of the mind. I think of Anne Lamott who writes about her journey with Jesus in a most unconventional way, in a way that many Bible Belt Believers would find shocking. I find it refreshing because her take is real and unfiltered; she has come to the place where she doesn''t apologize for being a human.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032608 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2302, 328, 'Cheryl Ensom Dack', 'roseyposeyclothes@yahoo.com', 'http://www.roseyposeyconfections.blogspot.com', '71.138.18.38', '2009-04-17 12:14:56', '2009-04-17 16:14:56', 'Haha! I didn''t mean to write so much!! :) \r\n\r\nI''ve been thinking more about this the last couple days and I have a couple more thoughts. First, I think what the mom about  her young daughter is interesting. Today''s teenager doesn''t remember a time when either the anonymity of Internet social pools OR without the "omni-present" quality of relationships through cell phones and especially, texting. I''m 32, started blogging a couple years ago and have been on facebook for less than a year and started texting about a month ago. The contrasts between my social interactions before and since the technology is huge. I can talk to virtually anyone I know (or to strangers, if I so desire) at any time of day or night, something that is still a novelty. \r\n\r\nThe collapsing of "walls" this technology allows for has both a negative and positive face. Our children being "safe" inside the walls of our home isn''t something we can take for granted. Inappropriate intimacy can be developed between either strangers or acquaintances, with parents or spouses none the wiser. But on the other hand, I know from experience that this "wall-less" world allows for friendship, understanding between and the formation of community between people in separate continents. The world is smaller. Our children have a much more realistic understanding of the "humanity" of people outside of their community, culture and continent. In the two years of blogging I''ve done, I have become friends with women all over the world. I''ve exchanged gifts with Ginny from the UK, conducted an online workshop with a woman from Australia who I went on to meet in person at an art retreat last Fall. I have become close to, talk in the phone with and plan to visit a customer-turned-friend from Italy, who I also met in person at the retreat. My relationships online have absolutely NOTHING to do with physical proximity; they are completely about having interests in common with one another. \r\n\r\nThis new world without walls makes people thousands of miles away, our neighbors. The potential for interacting directly with people in need is no longer limited to the people who live in our physical neighborhood. So yes, I could give to a cause I know virtually nothing about only because someone tweeted about it. But I could also develop a personal relationship with the nun who runs an orphanage in rural Benin, get to know the children through exchange of photos, notes and potentially even webcam. My children could grow up having a more personal relationship with little girls and boys in that orphanage than I had with my first cousins who lived on the opposite coast from us. Our family could save up and go visit the orphanage one summer. We could help one of the kids come to live here when they graduate and fund their college education. One of my children could wind up marrying an orphan from Benin they''ve known virtually their whole life. \r\n\r\nMy point is this: technology allows for both incredibly impersonal, non-compassionate giving but it can also be the means by which a new generation of adults who don''t just imagine need but are actually intimately acquainted with it. That can not however excuse my family or I from ignoring our actual neighbors'' needs. This is actually more difficult compassion; we can turn the web cam off and not read the emails but the physical needs of the people who share a fence with us have to be (should be) responded to consistently and within the context of an actual relationship. It''s far more exciting to put together a package for the orphanage and then see photos of the kids wearing the clothes we sent than it is to offer babysitting for the single mom whose only way out of poverty is taking night classes.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (iPod; U; CPU iPhone OS 2_2_1 like Mac OS X; en-us) AppleWebKit/525.18.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Mobile/5H11a', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(2179, 312, 'Matt Cheuvront', 'mncheuvront@gmail.com', 'http://www.lifewithoutpants.com', '66.89.75.162', '2009-04-02 10:36:10', '2009-04-02 14:36:10', 'How do you label yourself? That is such a difficult question to answer. I struggled with the same thing - and it''s funny because I started writing a blog based on the same "wefollow" dilemma. I think I labeled myself #blogger #entrepreneur #marketing - but looking back, that doesn’t describe me at all. Yes, I am a blogger, and yes I am in the field of marketing and (at least) have an entrepreneurial mind and business theory (not an actual entrepreneur myself) - but I''m so much more than that - at least, I hope I am, because a blogging entrepreneurial marketer sounds pretty empty. Labels on religion and faith are the same way - and we love to put labels on others, as believer, non believers, blasphemers, etc. \r\n\r\nWhat many people don''t realize is how narrowing labels really can be - we''re all so much more, even more than we give ourselves credit for - to sum it up in 140 characters, or three words, just doesn’t do us justice. Labels are great when you''re putting yourself in a category to get more twitter followers, but in real life, move away from putting a stamp of judgment on yourself and others.\r\n\r\nBy the way - thanks for the shout to myself (and Gavin). I would love to hear your thoughts (and your reader’s thoughts) on the concept of Spirituality and Social Media.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.1; SV1; InfoPath.1; .NET CLR 1.1.4322; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; Zune 3.0)', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(2180, 312, 'Trina', 'colour144@yahoo.com', '', '66.222.252.31', '2009-04-02 12:37:17', '2009-04-02 16:37:17', 'My first reaction: yes, overthinking this. Since you must pick three words to be part of that particular community, choose the three you are most proud of. Others will read into it what they will, such is life. You see, I winced at the use of mommy and mundane in the same paragraph. However I understand a plethora of perceptions exists surrounding mommy blogger. I enjoyed your presentation on the plethora of ways to be a Christian.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-GB; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032609 Firefox/3.0.8 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2181, 312, 'Angela Harms', 'angela.harms@gmail.com', 'http://epinoiacafe.com', '71.56.158.166', '2009-04-02 12:45:15', '2009-04-02 16:45:15', 'Ok, that was just weird, getting to the bottom of the post and finding me there. I''m, like, famous! Well, a little bit.\r\n\r\nAnyway, yeah! It''s crazy. I meet people and I have to *not* talk about Jesus and stuff because they''ll think I''m nuts (gee, wonder why?).\r\n\r\nSo I guess I''ll go over to wefollow and see how the jesusfollower tag is coming along. :)', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032609 Firefox/3.0.8 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2182, 312, 'Jeb Dickerson', 'jebdickerson@mac.com', 'http://www.howtomatter.com', '71.237.106.69', '2009-04-02 12:48:45', '2009-04-02 16:48:45', 'The problem with this discussion is that it''s predicated on the idea that we ought to be concerned with how others perceive us. I understand the practicality of that concern, living in a society that rewards conformity, at least superficially. But true freedom (which, in my view, is the precursor to genuine happiness) won''t prevail until we find a way to render labels useless and defy the pressure we feel to please others at our own expense.\r\n\r\nI''m sorry KT, I don''t have any particular boxes to put you in. To me, you''re simply a thoughtful and engaging person who deserves my attention not because you''re a Christian or a Writer or a Mom. But because you''re searching for something, as am I, and in that effort, you shine a light by which I can see a little better.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_5_6; en-us) AppleWebKit/525.27.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/3.2.1 Safari/525.27.1', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(3420, 367, 'Dave Thurston', 'dave@orangeshirtguy.com', 'http://www.orangeshirtguy.com', '24.223.179.4', '2009-06-01 23:31:53', '2009-06-02 03:31:53', 'I like to turn the tables.  This time I''ll walk in God''s shoes (sandals?).  This is what comes to mind:\r\n\r\n"Yes, yes, it is Pentecost and it happens every year.  And I know that you get it.  BUT look at this - I created Saugatuck!  I put a beach over here, and water with great sounding waves just over there.  Oh and the breeze - did you enjoy the breeze - I thought of you when I made it (I thought you''d like it).  And . . . don''t ask me how I did it, but every Pentecost this beach seems to hold just one couple!\r\n\r\n"So, don''t worry about missing church services . . . you''ve made my day by spending some time (and appreciating) that whole Saugatuck thing that I put together.\r\n\r\n"I got a kick out of creating a whole bunch of these places and I really like it when you enjoy them. So. . .thanks."', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_5_7; en-us) AppleWebKit/528.18.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0 Safari/528.17', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(4236, 402, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2009-07-02 01:15:14', '2009-07-02 05:15:14', 'Dave, as usual, you''re giving me a new way to think about the things that are on my mind. We are created in God''s image, so the fact that we could be "in training," as you put it, makes some sense. Hmmm. I''m going to ponder that some more.\r\n\r\nTJ, ah, "patience training." I always need more of that. I also need opportunities to look back on something that seemed so maddening at the time, and see how in the larger picture it really doesn''t end up being a big deal.\r\n\r\nJeb, my annoyance shifted directly to me these past couple of days. And you''re so right—while feeling annoyed might seem like a small thing that gives some relief in the moment, it "quickly turns to something worse, and has a way of infiltrating my every thought."\r\n\r\nTrina, yes, I completely believe God gives us free will, and I wouldn''t want it any other way. We end up experiencing our share of pain and "wasting" a fair amount of time learning things the hard way, but it makes for a richer life with more learning experiences. At the same time, I guess I do believe that God cares about the little things as well as the big things, and he can help us if we ask and are open to being truly helped (rather than just getting what we want). I just often forget to ask about the little things, or I ask with a stubborn spirit and an agenda. \r\n\r\nNaomi, you''re right—making our own opportunities is really critical. We were, after all, created with all kinds of problem-solving capabilities. We can''t always wait for some "sign" before we do anything. It''s good to think and plan and gather some wisdom, but at some point we have to step out in a direction that feels right, and see what happens. \r\n\r\nKen, thank you for being so forthright and honest—with me and regarding yourself. No, I can''t really say I am focused on God''s will for my life. What "Kristin wants" pushes its way to the top of the pile fairly often, even if that thing I want is desired with pure and good motivations. There have been periods of time when I''ve really been focused on God''s will for my life, usually when I reach a point of utter frustration and despair, and my own plans and ideas have been exhausted. During those times, amazing and wonderful things have happened in my life. Then, during times of relative comfort, I wander, and need to consciously re-orient myself. I''m definitely in one of those periods now. Thanks for making these idea connections for me. \r\n\r\nMeagan, thanks so much! I love your last point about small trials versus big trials. It''s SO true. Enough crumbs can make a whole meal, but so often I''m distracted, looking and waiting for the more obvious whole loaf, so to speak. I need to remember to gather up and be thankful for all the valuable crumbs and life lessons.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.10) Gecko/2009042315 Firefox/3.0.10', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2184, 312, 'Cheryl Ensom Dack', 'roseyposeyclothes@yahoo.com', 'http://www.roseyposeyconfections.blogspot.com', '69.238.95.157', '2009-04-02 13:22:25', '2009-04-02 17:22:25', 'Love this. \r\n\r\nMy first thought is that "labels" are FOR lumping us into groups we identify with, for lots of reasons. So a "label," by nature is going to be limiting, impersonal and to some large or small degree, misleading and inappropriate. Sometimes labels are useful...I find the label "mixed media artist" helpful because it describes a whole gamut of things I create in all sorts of different mediums. Even "fabric artist" is a label I find useful; it implies that I sew but also clarifies that we''re not talking about patchwork potholders. The label "stay-at-home-mom" is another story. Technically, yes, I don''t physically work outside the home. But when I''m sitting here at my computer, selling things I''ve made, am I really "at home" in the sense that most people who see that term would assume? Nope. I don''t even have to go into the ways that labels like "Christian," "Presbyterian" or "Conservative" describe a corner of who I am but actually are more misleading than descriptive when it comes to understanding who I AM. \r\n\r\nAnd I''d say, no, you''re not overthinking this! It''s a real dilemna. Do I want to be lumped in with a group about whom there are certain assumptions and associations? Sometimes...but I want to decide what that purpose is. Sometimes I want to be seen as outside of any artificial groupings since I almost always resist being part of these sorts of groupings and by nature am more about blowing the stereotypes about these groupings than I am about incorporating myself into them. On the other hand, maybe the labels "Christian," "mom" and "blogger" put you in contact with people who, like you, love Jesus, have kids and write stuff in a public venue! :) And then, while in contact with those people, you can THEN be YOU, which is really, in the end, what you and I are both concerned about: real connections with real people. \r\n\r\nSo....label yourself, I''d say! Sure people will misunderstand you. But what about those who get to know you through your label and are changed by coming into contact with an authentic "Christian," "mom" and "blogger/writer?" Maybe we can blow the stereotypes by courageously, purposefully using them for a purpose.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.1; SV1; FunWebProducts; .NET CLR 1.0.3705; .NET CLR 1.1.4322; Media Center PC 3.1; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; yplus 5.1.04b)', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(2185, 300, 'Cheryl Ensom Dack', 'roseyposeyclothes@yahoo.com', 'http://www.roseyposeyconfections.blogspot.com', '69.238.95.157', '2009-04-02 13:32:15', '2009-04-02 17:32:15', 'OMG....that blurb from Marion Winik immediately brings tears to my eyes, which always means there is something deeply TRUE about it. Whether the subject is divorce, stay-at-home-vs.-working-outside-the-home or what it means to be beautiful, the biggest, saddest mistake we as women ever make is to back ourselves into a corner and make a horrible little wall out of our opinions, misunderstandings and fears. These walls make us feel better, as though they will make us immune to tragedy, pain or loss. "If we hate divorce (or whatever) enough, it won''t happen to us," we say from behind our walls. But if we are without fear, we can push over our walls, step out from our corners and meet one another in a lovely circle of women. We can ask questions, we can tell the Truth, we can comfort and embrace fellow humans with human pain, we can speak our fears and we can find common ground. Why would we NOT want to do this? I can''t wait to read this book. Congratulations for being a part of it!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.1; SV1; FunWebProducts; .NET CLR 1.0.3705; .NET CLR 1.1.4322; Media Center PC 3.1; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; yplus 5.1.04b)', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(6764, 533, 'Pace Smith', 'pace@freakrevolution.com', 'http://freakrevolution.com', '74.202.71.201', '2009-11-20 13:37:24', '2009-11-20 17:37:24', 'Kristin,\r\n\r\nYeah, it''s definitely trickier.  That''s why the usual error is so common.  I think the flaw in the Golden Rule is ridiculously important. It''s not much of a stretch to say that the entire book is about that.\r\n\r\nAnd your comment about gift-giving reminds me of a very useful application of the Platinum Rule: love languages.  A common case of the usual error is to assume that someone else''s love language is the same as yours, so you try to express affection the way YOU''D like to receive it instead of the way THEY want to receive it.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (X11; U; Linux i686 (x86_64); en-US; rv:1.8.1.14) Gecko/20080404 Firefox/2.0.0.14', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(6765, 531, 'ed cyzewski', 'julieanded@gmail.com', 'http://www.inamirrordimly.com', '66.168.41.244', '2009-11-20 13:44:15', '2009-11-20 17:44:15', 'When we moved out of the suburbs into the country we stopped buying stuff we didn''t need. Plain and simple. We downsized and began saving money without so many stores nearby sending us sales fliers in the paper. Great thoughts here as always.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.1.5) Gecko/20091102 Firefox/3.5.5 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(6766, 534, 'Jennifer', 'starxlr8@gmail.com', 'http://www.starxlr8.com', '98.228.139.136', '2009-11-20 13:54:31', '2009-11-20 17:54:31', 'I recently moved back to the giant warm embrace of the Midwest after 20 years away - 20 years of seeing people in DC, LA and Houston NOT pull over for sirens. I sometimes feel silly after saying for the millionth time that I enjoy the change of pace - but its not just my pace that is slowed, its that in certain parts of the country, everyone feels compelled to slow down for what''s important. I don''t think its a coincidence that less urban areas are filled with more hope and people of a spiritual inclination.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.15) Gecko/2009101600 Firefox/3.0.15', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(6767, 534, 'Sugar Jones', 'sugar@sugarjones.tv', 'http://sugarjones.tv', '72.192.163.93', '2009-11-20 14:37:41', '2009-11-20 18:37:41', 'I am inspired by your Love List! I can''t wait to sit quietly somewhere and fall in love again.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US) AppleWebKit/532.0 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/3.0.195.33 Safari/532.0', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(6768, 534, 'Meredith', 'meridethdabek@hotmail.com', 'http://www.ordinarymer.com', '155.33.197.219', '2009-11-20 14:54:41', '2009-11-20 18:54:41', 'Dave - what a great, thoughtful post! I have to say, I never really thought about <em>why</em> I pulled over for ambulances, fire trucks, etc. I just always did it because that''s what I was taught to do and because I knew it was the right thing to do. It''s pretty incredible and a bit humbling to make the connection to the larger issue of subconsciously caring about other people. \r\n\r\nThe more I think about it, the more I think the sirens are also telling us to "slow down" - literally and figuratively. Slow down, take the time to let others go before you and find pleasure in the simple things in life. Like, as you mentioned, the crickets.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.15) Gecko/2009101601 Firefox/3.0.15', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(6919, 540, 'P-Marsh', 'darmstead38@gmail.com', '', '70.225.164.155', '2009-12-05 16:43:14', '2009-12-05 20:43:14', '"Often the very thing you need most is the thing you can’t seem to make happen."\r\nStory of my life', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-US) AppleWebKit/532.0 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/3.0.195.33 Safari/532.0', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(6920, 540, 'Songbird', 'revsongbird@gmail.com', 'http://revsongbird.typepad.com/', '76.179.110.244', '2009-12-05 18:45:13', '2009-12-05 22:45:13', '<b>Often the very thing you need most is the thing you can’t seem to make happen.</b>\r\n\r\nThat''s me right now. I have many satisfying things in my life, but each one argues against the other in some way. I love my work, I love my husband, I love my children (one of whom still lives at home), but his work takes him away, we can''t locate in a place where we will both live year-round because of the child and a custody arrangement, and I won''t leave her, even though she makes me a little crazy at times. And our geographic ties leave me with very limited vocational opportunities. I''ve been doing interim ministry, and I hope doing it well, but I dearly miss being in a community and building deeper relationships. I love ministry, marriage and motherhood, but I am frustrated by short-term ministry and long-distance marriage. \r\n\r\nNone of which is going to help *you* with your love list!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-US; rv:1.9.1.5) Gecko/20091102 Firefox/3.5.5 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(6771, 534, 'Nancy (CoachNancyP on twitter)', 'coachnancyp@gmail.com', 'http://theparentingpractice.blogspot.com/', '76.226.72.176', '2009-11-20 19:40:58', '2009-11-20 23:40:58', 'First of all, I want to say I agree with Kristin. Dave is a personal friend of mine, and he is so generous with his time to post his deep thought-provoking comments on others'' blogs. We bloggers appreciate comments, and knowing that people have not only read, but taken time to share their thoughts on the pieces we put our hearts into.\r\n\r\nThat being said, I am happy to have the opportunity to share back with you, Dave. You write so well. You put us back in time with your father, and on the road with you and your kiddos. You also remind us of that what we do and say as parents  makes a difference. Little did your dad know that a display of emotion watching a MASH episode would spread such a beautiful message not only to his grandchildren, but to many others as well.\r\n\r\nVery nice!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 7.0; Windows NT 5.1; GTB5; InfoPath.1; .NET CLR 1.1.4322)', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(6921, 540, 'Trina', 'colour144@yahoo.com', '', '75.159.36.212', '2009-12-06 01:29:54', '2009-12-06 05:29:54', 'I was wondering if #thelovelist was waning a tad in general, sort of like the honeymoon phase... the list seems to have fallen into a reasonable rhythm. Being able to see/do/recognise something we love every day may not always work. I am glad we can offer you a spot to lean, as we may all need to lean on each other sometimes. I enjoyed seeing the list here today. Thanks for highlighting them all.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-GB; rv:1.9.1.5) Gecko/20091102 Firefox/3.5.5 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(5366, 445, 'dee', 'deanna.a.froeber@vanderbilt.edu', '', '129.59.121.71', '2009-08-17 17:36:48', '2009-08-17 21:36:48', 'Admittedly, point 2 overlaps/reaffirms much of the point the blogger was trying to make in this post!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.13) Gecko/2009073022 Firefox/3.0.13', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(6270, 484, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2009-10-02 01:50:12', '2009-10-02 05:50:12', 'Violet, I''ve also been amazed at how much I''ve learned to value my time alone, while still acknowledging my needs as an extrovert. Not only did I learn a lot about being alone after my divorce, but as a freelancer I spend a good portion of each work day alone (or maybe in a space with others, but working alone). Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I really identify with your feelings, from often wearing your aloneness like a gold star to recognizing those undeniably lonely moments. Thanks for your honesty with all of those feelings.\r\n\r\nMike, I''m so glad you stumbled upon my blog! It''s good to meet you. It sounds like I''m not alone in the many valuable lessons I''ve learned as a result of going through divorce. I think embracing and sharing what we''ve learned, though, is one of the best ways to redeem something unhappy like the end of a marriage. Thanks for sharing some of that with us. \r\n\r\nMeredith, I can imagine there''s a great loneliness there, no matter how much love you get from friends and family. It''s very complicated, perhaps because we want to rationalize how we feel, but when it gets down to it, loneliness is just something we feel or don''t. We can''t really talk ourselves out of it, even if it doesn''t seem to "make sense." Let us know if/when you write a post on the topic. I''ll look forward to it!\r\n\r\nAngie, you would almost think I timed this post to coincide with the anniversary of your split with your ex-husband. You clearly get, on a very personal level, what I''m talking about here. I''m so glad we could both emerge from life''s messes empowered (there''s that word again—last time!) rather than beaten down.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.14) Gecko/2009082706 Firefox/3.0.14', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(4693, 411, 'mrs chicken', 'mrschicken@mychickencheese.com', 'http://www.mychickencheese.com', '24.34.176.125', '2009-07-16 21:57:03', '2009-07-17 01:57:03', 'This one hit me where I live. Being a grad student and a freelancer, we have limited means. We''re lucky to have generous support from others, but we still have to carefully consider our spending habits. This is a struggle for me, because for years I had a very lucrative corporate job that allowed us to live very well.\r\n\r\nWe still live well, but when it comes to spending money on me (us) or the kids, I (we) always choose the kids. And our big girl knows the core truth: "We have just as much money as we need, no more, no less, right, Mom?"\r\n\r\nRight.\r\n\r\nYour posts are so thoughtful and reasoned. Thank you!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.11) Gecko/2009060214 Firefox/3.0.11', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(6246, 484, 'Jamie Varon', 'jamie@alifeintranslation.com', 'http://www.alifeintranslation.com', '217.201.148.79', '2009-09-30 19:01:20', '2009-09-30 23:01:20', 'I''m so happy to have read this. I have been feeling this way ever since I came to Italy. It''s nice that I CAN do this alone and that I''m FINE doing it alone, but you know what? It would be amazing to have someone (friend or lover) here experiencing it with me. \r\n\r\nThis just inspired me to write my own blog post on this... it''s been percolating in my head for a while now, but I need to just articulate my own version of this. Thanks!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.1.3) Gecko/20090824 Firefox/3.5.3', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(7326, 550, 'The Modern Gal', 'themoderngal@gmail.com', 'http://themoderngal.blogspot.com', '76.122.248.10', '2010-01-07 13:26:54', '2010-01-07 17:26:54', 'I love this. I thought I''d get all reflective and introspective at New Year''s, and when the time came I didn''t care to. Sure, I think back from time to time but mostly just in appreciation of where my life is now. There''s so much value to living in the now.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_5_8; en-us) AppleWebKit/531.9 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0.3 Safari/531.9', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(7327, 551, 'The Modern Gal', 'themoderngal@gmail.com', 'http://themoderngal.blogspot.com', '76.122.248.10', '2010-01-07 13:28:53', '2010-01-07 17:28:53', 'Good for you for being open about it. I''m no expert, but it seems like confronting these things in the open helps you face them and manage them. And it especially helps to have support.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_5_8; en-us) AppleWebKit/531.9 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0.3 Safari/531.9', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(6247, 484, 'Trina', 'colour144@yahoo.com', '', '75.158.132.136', '2009-09-30 19:02:38', '2009-09-30 23:02:38', 'Your thoughts just make me all warm inside, and want to say YAY YOU!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-GB; rv:1.9.1.3) Gecko/20090824 Firefox/3.5.3 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(6248, 484, 'tamryn', 'tmaione@aol.com', '', '68.253.216.130', '2009-09-30 21:23:11', '2009-10-01 01:23:11', 'A girl after my own heart. It took extreme shocks to rock my world, but the upside is actually realizing I can totally enjoy the occasional glass of wine and sushi with my crossword all alone before my copywriting class! Maybe its my age, but it is terribly freeing. Seems silly, but it just never used to happen. I''ve learned to love the strong girl I have proven to be and enjoy being alone with her.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_5_8; en-us) AppleWebKit/531.9 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0.3 Safari/531.9', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(4989, 430, 'lbotp', 'lbotp16@gmail.com', 'http://lbotp.wordpress.com', '76.247.165.20', '2009-08-01 00:17:11', '2009-08-01 04:17:11', 'This seems to me to be about class, not race. A lot of these things are based on socio-economic status. Maybe I''m simplifying, but that''s my immediate reaction.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.11) Gecko/2009060214 Firefox/3.0.11', '', 0, 0, 'N');
INSERT INTO `wp_d8mand_comments` (`comment_ID`, `comment_post_ID`, `comment_author`, `comment_author_email`, `comment_author_url`, `comment_author_IP`, `comment_date`, `comment_date_gmt`, `comment_content`, `comment_karma`, `comment_approved`, `comment_agent`, `comment_type`, `comment_parent`, `user_id`, `comment_subscribe`) VALUES
(5378, 445, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '98.212.142.184', '2009-08-18 00:38:13', '2009-08-18 04:38:13', 'Jason, you make some really good points, like this one: "People should be getting married for the right reasons; love, partnership, and friendship among them." And yes, when it comes to my own kids, I''d "rather see people having (responsible) sex before (a successful, lasting, loving) marriage than seeing kids jump into marriage just so they can “do the deedâ€ without guilt." Thanks for devoting so much time and thought to a great discussion!\r\n\r\nKatie, thank you for sharing your own story—it''s touching, inspiring and a great example of yet another way to go about figuring out what love is, and when the time is right for marriage. Not according to society or the church, but according to you and your partner. I love your clergy perspective, too, particularly what you said about marrying older couples: "I find that because of all of the stuff that has gone before, it is so much easier to talk seriously and deeply about why this commitment, this covenant, this marriage is important. When I ask them, ''why?'' they have honest answers." That was certainly my experience as Jason and I went through pre-marital counseling (but I guess I''m biased!). \r\n\r\nRebecca, I don''t blame you for a second for feeling this way: "I don’t like that society/religion/whatever pressures you to [get married]" I''m not sure what people think they''re accomplishing—even if the young people being pressured end up getting married, won''t they be prone to resentment and bitterness?\r\n\r\nGenevieve, I think you summed up this general sentiment quite well: "the pressure to apply the early marriage solution to all relationships is too cookie-cutter to work for everyone." And you mention it again, at the end, when you talk about different—and valid—paths to happiness. I guess that''s at the heart of what many of us are talking about here. There are no formulas that everyone can follow, step by step, to ensure marital success and happiness. And sometimes we even surprise ourselves, by deeply wanting something we didn''t think we would. After my divorce, I imagined I''d be in a long-term relationship again, but that I''d never marry. I no longer felt like marriage meant anything. Then I met Jason and realized I didn''t want to walk away from the institution of marriage—I wanted to really understand it and embrace it, for the first time.\r\n\r\nRyan, hi again. :) I don''t want to pick on you, but there are a couple of things in your response to Genevieve that I just have to take issue with, as  Christian mom who has been divorced (someone has to advocate for us!). One is this statement: "I doubt people having premarital sex think anything of divorce. Why would they? That’s why they’re having premarital sex." This just doesn''t make any sense to me, and it''s not true. *Some* people who have premarital sex might not be thinking much about divorce, but to suggest that everyone who has premarital sex is super casual about marriage and divorce simply isn''t accurate or fair. This statement about children of unmarried parents also troubles me: "they miss the opportunity to have the strength I know a traditional marriage brings...." I can''t even begin to tell you how many sad, unloved, neglected, messed up and even abused children are raised in homes with "a traditional marriage." Perhaps you could make this claim in an ideal world filled with ideal marriages, but in our world, it just isn''t always true.\r\n\r\nMeredith, I''m glad you brought that lost point back into the conversation! The point of my post might not end up being the point of our conversation, and that''s just fine, but I would really love to hear what people think about that question: What important issues are we ignoring? I love that you brought ALL relationships into the equation, and how you put this: "Children and teens who are happy and secure in themselves and their lives are less likely to be talked into something they’re not comfortable with - whether it’s premarital sex or early marriage." I completely agree.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.12) Gecko/2009070609 Firefox/3.0.12', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(4990, 428, 'lbotp', 'lbotp16@gmail.com', 'http://lbotp.wordpress.com', '76.247.165.20', '2009-08-01 00:24:19', '2009-08-01 04:24:19', 'One of the things I enjoy about reading you is that I feel as if I am getting a glimpse of things to come with my girls (3 and 7 mo). You are doing something right!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.11) Gecko/2009060214 Firefox/3.0.11', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(6615, 518, 'Robin', 'sheldor@olivetschools.org', '', '24.56.209.49', '2009-10-30 13:20:58', '2009-10-30 17:20:58', 'Kristin~I love reading your thoughts about kids and spending time with them.  As a mother and teacher, I wish more people had the desire that you have to actually think about how they are interacting with the children in their lives.  To be able to look at something through a child''s eyes is a special gift and one to cherish.  Kids have such an innocent and wonderous view of the world.  It''s good for all of us to be reminded of that sometimes.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 7.0; Windows NT 6.0; SLCC1; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; .NET CLR 3.5.30729; .NET CLR 3.0.30618)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(6616, 518, 'Meredith', 'meridethdabek@hotmail.com', 'http://www.ordinarymer.com', '155.33.197.219', '2009-10-30 13:30:14', '2009-10-30 17:30:14', 'One of the things I value most from my nephews and niece are the way they make me look at things, especially things I already think I know about, from a different perspective. It''s so easy to assume that I know what I know, until I spend time with them and they remind me to think about things from an alternate point of view. I absolutely agree that, as you said so well, "As adults, we often fall into ruts, forgetting to question why things are done in a certain way rather than another, just as valid way." Something similar to this ended up on my own love list.\r\n\r\n(P.S. Thanks for the shout-out! Now I''m nervous!)', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.15) Gecko/2009101601 Firefox/3.0.15', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(6718, 531, 'Joy', 'joychristin@yahoo.com', 'http://www.etherealjoy.blogspot.com', '162.135.0.6', '2009-11-14 22:07:33', '2009-11-15 02:07:33', 'Oh, I love where I live.  It was a lifetime dream for me to live on a boat, and I realized that.  However, and this is the big however--the area I live in has been one of pleasure for me always, but the boat I chose to buy was with the promise of help from a friend who broke promises and kind of left me "stuck" with a huge project boat.  I learned to love my boat for who I''ve become from living on her and working on her, and now she''s the "home" I''ve always wanted--one that is inviting and comforting to myself and my children as well as those around us.  I consider the sky my ceiling, the ocean my floor, the neighboring hills my walls, and the local islands my backyard.  Nature fills and sustains me--on my best days there is such an abundance I can effortlessly share.  On my worst days, there are glorious sunrises/sunsets and if that''s all I ''have" I am still very lucky:)  But, it had to be a mindful choice to move forward and not let disappointment sour my experience.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 8.0; Windows NT 5.1; Trident/4.0; .NET CLR 1.1.4322; InfoPath.1)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(6626, 518, 'Dave Thurston', 'dave@orangeshirtguy.com', 'http://www.orangeshirtguy.com', '24.223.179.5', '2009-10-30 20:08:57', '2009-10-31 00:08:57', 'Man, you can just see that stuff in kids eyes can''t you.  And then if given a chance to (non-judgementally) voice those ideas . . . frequent brilliance.\r\n\r\nA hobby of mine is photography and a simple but amazing "trick" when photographing kids is to get down to the level of their faces and take the pictures horizontally.  When that is accomplished, they are no longer literally looked down upon, but are (again literally) on equal levels.  Kind of the same thing, when watching their world and their interactions from their level, great empathy can be gained and great appreciation returned.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_6_1; en-us) AppleWebKit/531.9 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0.3 Safari/531.9', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(2191, 312, 'Angela Harms', 'angela.harms@gmail.com', 'http://epinoiacafe.com', '71.56.158.166', '2009-04-02 19:10:59', '2009-04-02 23:10:59', 'Kristin,\r\n\r\nI''ve been thinking more about all this angst around labels. I want them to just be a way to find people who are interested in the same things we are. I know they''re also a handle for people to grab on to if they want to judge, but then judgers will find a handle, regardless, won''t they?\r\n\r\nI went back and poked around at wefollow--turns out I had picked #buddhist, #design, &amp; #emergent, though I''m not at all cool. Anyway, I noticed that there were a very few #jesusfollower but a whole bunch of #jesus. I like the idea of #jesus, though I know some of my wonderful #heathen friends might take offense. \r\n\r\nAck! Now I''m thinking we should boycott #wefollow cuz it''s just too damn limiting.\r\n\r\nAngela (#emergent #heathen #unschooling #radical #mama with a penchant for #followingjesus toward an #anarchist sort of #love)\r\n(&amp; Wow... where''s #editor #writer #designer? Am I in the wrong business?)', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032609 Firefox/3.0.8 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(7448, 552, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2010-01-14 04:34:07', '2010-01-14 08:34:07', 'Sherri, many churches don''t celebrate/acknowledge/follow the liturgical calendar, so you shouldn''t feel bad for not knowing about Epiphany. Lent and Advent are the main seasons people are aware of, along with the important days that end those seasons, but the rest have been lost in many ways. Isn''t it nice, though, when all of those dots connect and you get a glimpse of the bigger picture? \r\n\r\nolive &amp; hope, being open and letting go are such huge, important things to get a grasp on, aren''t they? I tend to be a very slow learner when it comes to those areas—I struggle with them, then I learn the sort of things you''ve described, then before I know it I''m struggling with them again. I love how you talk about both experiences, though, and all the good that comes from continuing to practice and work at it.\r\n\r\nAndrea, this is so true: "Now that I got the message, I need constant vigilance to practice getting out of my own way." I hate to think of all of the times I have gotten in the way of good that was trying to reach me. Also, listening to and trusting that inner voice is key. Thanks for sharing your perspective on this.\r\n\r\nMel, I know just how you feel about God''s plan for each of us often being difficult to discern. It can be so frustrating! What I''ve gradually learned, though, is that it''s usually about timing. There''s more we need to learn before we''re ready for the plan, or other certain life circumstances need to come together and fall into place before that plan can begin. I''m so glad you''re finding the creative life that''s right for you!\r\n\r\nCynthia, that''s such a wonderful realization. It makes me so sad and frustrated that so many women in many churches feel isolated from God''s love, gifts and promises. God doesn''t want us on the sidelines!\r\n\r\nJen N., I love that something as basic as a bumper sticker can make the lightbulb of understanding turn on! \r\n\r\nMolly, that sounds like a *very* frustrating situation. Perspective is such an important thing when you''re feeling disappointment and anger. I''ve been thinking about that a lot these past couple of days, since the earthquake in Haiti. My struggles are so small in comparison. \r\n\r\nHelen, ah, I''ve learned that beautiful truth in my life, too. Thanks for sharing it in such a beautiful way.\r\n\r\nmodergirlskitchen, I love this: "I reach a place of clarity where I realize that all those things dragging me down are really only dragging me down because I have decided that’s what they’re doing." We are such complicated creatures, aren''t we? Thank goodness for all the little wake up calls along the way.\r\n\r\nLaura, the word "awakening" is a great one to use. Suddenly everything becomes clear. Maybe the truth is there, waiting, and the divine is like the alarm clock that helps us open our eyes.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.16) Gecko/2009120206 Firefox/3.0.16', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(7354, 552, 'Lisi', 'alisasher@gmail.com', '', '75.99.37.154', '2010-01-09 01:44:24', '2010-01-09 05:44:24', 'One way the darkness would manifest for me is that I was afraid of bugs, specifically bugs in my apartment.  Once I saw a bug in my apt and moved out temporarily, without even explaining to my roommate what was happening.  I had been prone to episodes like this before: see something I was afraid of and then run away.  Funny enough, I hold a high paying job and am able to function and be "on" but in my free time I would tend to unravel.\r\n\r\nDuring the time of this episode and my hiatus from my apartment, I had an epiphany:  That these episodes sustained because I would go deeper and deeper into myself.  I thought, what if there were a gift here?  What if, in my darkest moments, there were angels?\r\n\r\nAnd so I pushed myself forward.  I forced myself to call anyone and everyone I knew whom I felt comfortable with and get out of the house.  In that week, I called someone with whom I used to work and found myself explaining my bug thing to him.  What was funny was that instead of telling me to get over, he agreed that bugs could be pretty nasty, but that he could come get me and take me back to my apartment, where I belonged.\r\n\r\nAnd he did.\r\n\r\nWe have been together for almost 3 years since that night...me and my angel!  And, he is one of many angels I have encountered, often in the darkest of times.  I also make sure to be an angel for others, when needed and appropriate!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.17) Gecko/2009122116 Firefox/3.0.17 GTB6', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(7691, 554, 'home based business reviews', 'janosnwelsen@gmail.com', 'http://www.home-businessreviews.com', '95.68.69.18', '2010-01-24 08:23:15', '2010-01-24 12:23:15', 'I just found the website who discuss about \r\nmany \r\nhome business reviews\r\n\r\nIf you want to know more here it is \r\n<a href="http://www.home-businessreviews.com" rel="nofollow">home business ideas</a>\r\nwww.home-businessreviews.com', 0, 'spam', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows XP)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(7360, 548, 'Jamie Simmerman', 'mt12mindset@gmail.com', 'http://blueduckcopy.com', '70.217.138.223', '2010-01-09 14:02:50', '2010-01-09 18:02:50', 'Well, Kristin, you did much better than I. I couldn''t make through 36 hours without wanting to shoot myself. :) I am SO glad your Christmas was lovable and enjoyable. You deserve it more than anyone I know. Oh, and Happy Holidays (belatedly).', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_5_8; en-us) AppleWebKit/531.21.8 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0.4 Safari/531.21.10', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(7693, 558, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2010-01-25 00:20:02', '2010-01-25 04:20:02', 'Gary, you''ve figure it out—I''ve had a spy plane trained on you! Seriously, though, I''m so glad to hear about your work in local politics. The world needs more leaders with thoughts and actions like yours! It''s interesting that you brought this up, because my dad has been president of a school board for a few years now—I imagine he has to be very good at this sort of balance. You described it just right: Sometimes it''s important to take the time to work with people and bring them along; other times it''s better to "Seek new minds that share your view and rally the tribe." Good luck!\r\n\r\nCarmen, great idea—let''s get matching tattoos! :) Thanks for supporting me in this alternate way of "taking care of business." I guess you know me well enough after all these years to understand which path I should be veering toward.\r\n\r\nAmy, too funny. What I want to know, though, is whether over-engaging (in the example you gave) gets you more worked up in an unhealthy way, or if it helps you work all of your ideas and thoughts out of your system, leaving you to sleep in peace. For me it can go either way, which is what I need to be monitoring.\r\n\r\ncynthia, here''s to working things out by "thinking" out loud (which is what we''re all doing here, right?). I can really relate to your description of rehearsing conversations and drafting emails (maybe not all night, but I have been known to devote way too much time to such pre-communications). From your description of yourself (and my understanding of human nature), I don''t think you''ll have any problem turning your engaging passions back on, once you give yourself permission to. But maybe you need to set some guidelines for yourself? Maybe you''ll debate certain types of people but not others (people you know/don''t know, family/friends, etc.). Or maybe there are certain topics that you quickly get too passionate about, so you need to decide not to go there. I don''t know. It''s a difficult balance, but I hate to think of someone passionate and opinionated hiding out in their kingdom behind a high wall. I have a feeling you were designed the way you are for a reason—your voice needs to be heard.\r\n\r\nDaisy, I can imagine that peacemakers are rare in politics. Your skills are clearly needed! As I mentioned to Gary (above), I think my dad has managed to hone peacemaking skills while still feeling passionate about issues he feels are critical for the kids in his school district (and he was a teacher his entire career, so he knows that side, too). You said it just right here: "It is tough to leave my inner peacemaker by the roadside, get in the thick of things, and still know when to re-engage my peacemaker self to help me disengage at the right time." Now I think you have to trust your gut (and see if you can get it to speak up a bit more clearly!).\r\n\r\nTrina, I think agreeing to disagree is a really powerful stance for two people or groups to make. It takes a lot of maturity and respect to really do it, and feel like you can both move forward in a way that''s meaningful to you. It''s when you feel it has left you at an utter standstill that it really stinks, though. Why does life have to present so many nearly impossible balancing routines? (I really like the WIN concept, though—I''ve never heard it like that before.)', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.16) Gecko/2009120206 Firefox/3.0.16', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(7365, 552, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2010-01-10 00:40:55', '2010-01-10 04:40:55', 'Cynthia, I know that "slogging along in self pity" route. One of my least favorite versions of me is Me Feeling Sorry for Myself. Ugh. I also know what it''s like, though, to suddenly find messages at every turn that build upon each other in stunning ways. It gives me great hope, as a blogger, that blogs can be a part of that process. Thanks for sharing your story and your post! I''m so glad you''re not slogging along quite so much any more.\r\n\r\nSam, those so-called ordinary moments can be pretty amazing. I think it has something to do with not trying so hard—letting go to be ourselves in the world we encounter. In some ways, that''s also what happens when we''re in our low spots, too. The low spots are just much more difficult than the ordinary ones. :) And I completely relate to this description, that epiphanies happen when you''re at "a dead end of my thinking process." Another moment for letting go?\r\n\r\nAshley, that''s a beautiful way to describe darkness—as a gem. I''ve gradually been able to see the good that comes out of dark moments, but I still have a hard time being comfortable with them. \r\n\r\n Lisi, I do think Fear, in general, is closely related to darkness. Either it feeds it or is a response to it, or maybe both. It makes sense that you would relate one of your deep fears to darkness. Good for you, for pushing forward, forcing yourself out, where you were able to find light.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.16) Gecko/2009120206 Firefox/3.0.16', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(6997, 542, 'Beloved Spear', 'rndwill@aol.com', 'http://www.belovedspear.org', '96.255.183.107', '2009-12-10 00:08:04', '2009-12-10 04:08:04', 'You may or may not find this old post amusing.  It does lay out how we all "suck in horrifying ways."  \r\n\r\nhttp://beloved-spear.xanga.com/694637418/the-sixteen-types-of-people-youll-find-in-hell/', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X; en-US; rv:1.8.1.18) Gecko/20081107 Firefox/2.0.0.18 Flock/1.2.7', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(7352, 552, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2010-01-09 00:26:12', '2010-01-09 04:26:12', 'Jennifer, I love how you put this: "[epiphanies] often come at just the right time, when you think your very weak grasp on life is even more untenable." So true. I''ll eventually let everyone know what my epiphany was—I''m still turning it over in my mind, getting to know it. (And I just might share it with you even sooner, seeing as how I have known you for 20 years.)\r\n\r\nViolet, what a great description of what it feels like to struggle against life: "Pushing against walls that wouldn’t move, pulling knobs on doors that wouldn’t open, but also, in the words of Casting Crowns, ''trying so hard to stop trying so hard.''â€ And what a blessing that your friend shared with you that simple, powerful prayer. What an amazing example of an epiphany that starts as a small kernel, building up over time. Thanks for sharing your experience with us.\r\n\r\nLaura, yes, it does seem to be true that things happen for a reason. There are many different ways to think about it, but in the end, each philosophy eventually seems to result in a better, richer life. The hardest part is believing that when we''re in the midst of some despair, and not knowing how long we''ll have to wait for something good to emerge.\r\n\r\nKat, thank you! I''m glad you stumbled across Halfway to Normal, too!\r\n\r\nThe Modern Gal, that''s a good point. "Surprise" isn''t really the right word. It''s more a case of not being able to remember that feeling of having an epiphany, until you have another one. It''s so extraordinary, like a very distinct flavor that you can never begin to describe. Nothing in the world tastes like it, but the moment you taste it again, the memories of it all come flooding back, so strong. (Btw, I''m so glad you had the chance to rediscover things about yourself this past year. Your life will long be blessed because of it.)', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.16) Gecko/2009120206 Firefox/3.0.16', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(3408, 367, 'Genevieve Charet', 'genny_charet@ameritech.net', 'http://thealchemistblog.wordpress.com', '69.213.175.119', '2009-06-01 14:20:28', '2009-06-01 18:20:28', 'Hi, Kristin--excellent post.\r\n\r\nI think this sentiment (I’m pretty sure God’s greatest desire isn’t for us to be in a church building on Sunday mornings. His greatest desire is that we find ways to regularly commune with him, and with one another and his creation—that we can get a few steps closer to him, by bridging the chasm between heaven and earth. Often that happens in church communities, but not exclusively, by any means.) is a vital one.  \r\n\r\nI never felt close to God in Church, but I came to understand that the Church as an official body was not okay with my giving in to that feeling.  I know many people who claim to feel wonderfully inspired at formal services, and who love going every Sunday.  I think that''s great for them--but that is a very personal sentiment.  Not everyone is inspired by the same songs, the same responses, the same prayers.\r\n\r\nI would never presume to know what God wants us to do (and my inability to see how anyone else could presume that was a big factor in my leaving the Church!).  But I do have a hard time believing that any being that is all good would care more about a ritual or a rule than about our response to it.  To have a healthy spiritual life, you just have to embrace feelings of gratefulness, joy, peace, and wonder--if you don''t, it''s spiritual neglect.  So if you get that from nature and not from one cookie-cutter idea of what worship should be like...well, it''s not the Christian answer, but I think it''s the right way.\r\n\r\nThanks for addressing this!\r\nGenevieve', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_4_11; en) AppleWebKit/525.18 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/3.1.2 Safari/525.22', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(5885, 466, 'Debbie Yost', 'deb.opks@gmail.com', 'http://www.my3weddings.com', '76.92.233.189', '2009-09-10 18:23:42', '2009-09-10 22:23:42', 'I''m sorry about the disappointing turn of events for you.  It''s frustrating to work so hard on something and have it yanked out from under you.  Hopefully you can find another publisher for your book.  \r\n\r\nI am not a self help person and am tired of all the books out there about them.  Personally I tend to lean towards the fiction genre, but I was a fan of Erma Bombeck.  She was just an everyday mom sharing her experiences in a humorous way.  I agree with you, hearing from the every day person means more to me than the famous.  Especially considering a lot of those people are someone I wouldn''t want to model my life after!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 7.0; Windows NT 6.0; WOW64; SLCC1; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; Media Center PC 5.0; InfoPath.1; .NET CLR 3.5.30729; .NET CLR 3.0.30618)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(5886, 466, 'DennisS', 'scheibmeir@gmail.com', '', '70.130.55.193', '2009-09-10 18:30:16', '2009-09-10 22:30:16', 'I''m not an author, and unlikely to ever be one.  I do follow your blog via my reader.\r\n\r\nThe thought that comes to mind is self-publishing via the web.  If you get a significant following this way, then publishers will likely take notice.\r\n\r\nI''m currently reading "A Failure of Nerve" by Edwin Friedman.  The second half of the book was basically an outline when he died.  People were interested in the subject matter, so it was privately published in 1999.  There was enough interest that it was published in book form in 2007.\r\n\r\nI keep hearing that print publications are going the way of the dinosaur.  This might be the chance to be in the first wave of digital publishing.  I''d buy the book in digital format - in fact, I''d prefer it in that format (I''ve not gone the Kindle route though).', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.1.2) Gecko/20090729 Firefox/3.5.2 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(6167, 479, 'Carmen', 'capisco@verizon.net', '', '71.249.75.33', '2009-09-26 01:38:04', '2009-09-26 05:38:04', 'Lovelist has me thinking.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.4; en-US; rv:1.9.0.14) Gecko/2009082706 Firefox/3.0.14', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
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(7387, 553, 'TJ Hirst', 'tj@tjhirst.com', 'http://www.tjhirst.com/', '24.179.199.59', '2010-01-11 14:17:41', '2010-01-11 18:17:41', 'I''m rethinking my social relationships this month, too. My immediate family and extended family have grown to be the important bond of Category 1 friends currently in my life, but I''m realizing that I need all levels of friendship, even the category 2 and 3 which seem to be the least plentiful in my life right now.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.17) Gecko/2009122116 Firefox/3.0.17 GTB6 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(7388, 552, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '98.222.57.133', '2010-01-11 14:33:41', '2010-01-11 18:33:41', 'teachingwithsoul, yes, Magpiegirl is an amazing woman to have a connection of some sort with. Your passion and new focus sound amazing, too! Your story is a great example of all the good that can emerge out of what feels like a really difficult time. Sometimes it''s an epiphany that pushes us forward, and other times it''s much higher-level redemptive work going on, and our role is to just be open and willing. It sounds like a a bit of both has been happening for you. Blessings!\r\n\r\nMel, wow, I can relate to that! What you wrote perfectly describes the process I was going through in 2005. I''m so glad you''ve seen your life turn around in big ways, too.\r\n\r\nLuckless Pedestrian, this is so powerful: “''darkness'' doesn’t equate ''evil'' ''bad'' ''false'' or any of the other scary things I was raised to think of it as. Darkness is simply the unmanifested, the void- that which we are all in this life to draw fruit out of." I love that way of thinking about darkness. I think part of the problem is that in religious circles, darkness is so often used as a metaphor for evil, but there are many kinds of darknesses, and many ways to approach it. You seem to have a great grasp on this concept, and I think you will have great success with your album. Please keep us posted!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.16) Gecko/2009120206 Firefox/3.0.16', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2310, 193, 'Cheryl Ensom Dack', 'roseyposeyclothes@yahoo.com', 'http://www.roseyposeyconfections.blogspot.com', '71.138.18.38', '2009-04-18 01:16:41', '2009-04-18 05:16:41', 'Oh this is hard for me to read, Kristin. I feel like I got to stand outside your house and look in, which is so bittersweet. As you know I am having to consider the possibility of divorce and this post makes my heart sink at the same time that it gives me hope. Thank you, as always, for your honesty.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (iPod; U; CPU iPhone OS 2_2_1 like Mac OS X; en-us) AppleWebKit/525.18.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/3.1.1 Mobile/5H11a Safari/525.20', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(7406, 552, 'Allysa', 'allysalovatt@gmail.com', '', '24.77.26.252', '2010-01-12 11:10:44', '2010-01-12 15:10:44', 'My last epiphany happened right at the beginning of a final exam. It was in a course on Wisdom literature which I had come to strongly dislike. While writing the exam the hymn "I heard the voice of Jesus say" popped into my head and I had a little epiphany that went something like this "oh that''s right I don''t need to hold my faith and experience of God up in comparison with anyone else''s, In fact the ways in which I experience the divine are good and wonderful" The Flock group seems like a great way to continue finding and affirming a spirituality that''s right for me.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-US) AppleWebKit/532.0 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/3.0.195.38 Safari/532.0', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(6749, 533, 'Beloved Spear', 'rndwill@aol.com', 'http://www.belovedspear.org', '96.255.183.107', '2009-11-19 08:34:33', '2009-11-19 12:34:33', 'It''s an important clarification, not because the Golden Rule requires modification, but because we are such radically self-centered critters that we can misinterpret even such a seemingly simple thing.   What you''re saying is implicit in the rule.  Presumably, we want others to take our perspectives and our feelings into consideration when they do unto us.  That requires them to get to know us a little bit.  It''s that relationship-building that makes the love ethic so radically healing and transformative.\r\n\r\nI think you may be shortchanging empathy here, though.  If you''ve bothered to get to know someone...particularly someone who is radically different...then you gather awareness of their inner life.  It''s not complete, but neither is it just empty imagining.\r\n\r\nIt would be interesting to read your thoughts on the moral ambiguity you seem to be expressing here.  Is there no "right way?"  Are all differences equally valid?', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X; en-US; rv:1.8.1.18) Gecko/20081107 Firefox/2.0.0.18 Flock/1.2.7', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(3405, 367, 'Trina', 'colour144@yahoo.com', '', '75.159.46.147', '2009-06-01 13:44:39', '2009-06-01 17:44:39', 'The whole world is our church.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-GB; rv:1.9.0.10) Gecko/2009042316 Firefox/3.0.10 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(4223, 402, 'Meagan Francis', 'meaganfrancis@yahoo.com', 'http://www.thehappiestmom.com', '71.239.48.143', '2009-07-01 14:49:15', '2009-07-01 18:49:15', 'Love this post! I think that your last paragraph sums it up perfectly: sure it may seem like no big deal for God to "fix" these little things that go wrong in your life, but that might deny you the opportunity to strengthen your sense of perspective, your compassion for people who are late/cranky because of these kinds of ''hiccups'', and much more. Small trials can make you a better, wiser person just the same as big trials, right?', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.11) Gecko/2009060214 Firefox/3.0.11', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(4682, 415, 'Emma', 'emily@cafegilliam.net', 'http://cafegilliam.net/', '70.250.114.202', '2009-07-16 10:35:54', '2009-07-16 14:35:54', 'So, I was thinking about this in the shower (TMI? Lots of people think in the shower), and I think the conflict in the quote you used is about the verb tense of "justified." If one once lived in a big mess, was justified and forgiven, and focuses on that glorious truth exclusively, there''s a lack of vision for what to do with the new discipleship. However, if one focuses on their new life more than God''s saving (forgiving/justifying), there could be danger of emphasizing works, and forgetting the complete power of God. Rather, if we see "justified" as a status, rather than an event, we carry that boldly (with power, as by new birth) into our futures, and look back at the same time. I have confidence because I am justified. It''s not just not that I have been redeemed, it''s that I am redeemed.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.11) Gecko/2009060215 Firefox/3.0.11', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(4980, 430, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '24.12.200.216', '2009-07-31 12:13:42', '2009-07-31 16:13:42', 'Meredith, I''m with you. If I had to choose between being unique or being a part of a tribe, I''d go the "no man is an island" route, too. I wonder if that has anything to do with being an extrovert, and thriving off of deep connections with other people. Are you an extrovert? (I love your baking analogy, btw!)\r\n\r\nTrina, you and Meredith both bring up a great point. Even if you brought together a whole room full of people that were all more than 50 percent "white," according to this book, there would be variances and differences that each person would bring to the group. Fitting into a group doesn''t necessarily mean you take a cookie-cutter approach to life.\r\n\r\nBlackwasp19, thanks for bringing up the clear distinction between "stereotype" and "generality." That''s important. And I guess that''s what I fear most—that because I fit generally into this group, people will begin to assume things about me. It''s much more of a problem (in my mind) when it comes to me being a Christian, and the things people assume of me because of that. Anyway, you offer a great analysis of the website, the idea of white culture, the importance of considering class distinctions, and your own perspective as a black man. Thanks for adding so much to my post. (And thanks for letting me know I''m OK on my diversity point!)', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.12) Gecko/2009070609 Firefox/3.0.12', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
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(2312, 330, 'Trina', 'colour144@yahoo.com', '', '66.222.252.31', '2009-04-18 09:51:42', '2009-04-18 13:51:42', 'Everytime I read your posts describing aspects of your beliefs, it gives me hope for Christianity. I dont actively follow a path to God, generally due to the ''bunk'' that surrounds it. I can see through your eyes, that need not be the case. Hmmm, things to ponder.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-GB; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032609 Firefox/3.0.8 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'N');
INSERT INTO `wp_d8mand_comments` (`comment_ID`, `comment_post_ID`, `comment_author`, `comment_author_email`, `comment_author_url`, `comment_author_IP`, `comment_date`, `comment_date_gmt`, `comment_content`, `comment_karma`, `comment_approved`, `comment_agent`, `comment_type`, `comment_parent`, `user_id`, `comment_subscribe`) VALUES
(3397, 367, 'TJ Hirst', 'tj@tjhirst.com', 'http://www.tjhirst.com/', '71.217.181.229', '2009-06-01 10:20:03', '2009-06-01 14:20:03', 'While I appreciate your perspective and understand your line of thinking and agree with some of the things you say, I hope I can share my thoughts without offense to you and your beliefs that you''ve put out here. I am not pointing my finger of scorn at you for "skipping church" I respect the need for a break.  It renews our perspective of things that we really want to do. I also respect the right to worship how and where we each choose. \r\n\r\nI just disagree. I want to be in church on Sunday. It''s more than a place of fellowship for me; it''s my place of worship where I recommit, through a sacred ordinance of the sacrament, to God the Father through the atonement of His son, Jesus Christ. I know they love me and want the best for me, but mortal being that I am, I do fall short of who I can become. When I see that, I don''t beat myself up in this process nor do I make a self-justification for my actions. I listen to the whisperings of the Spirit within my heart and renew my mind, body and spirit in the process. I come away whole.\r\n\r\nSometimes I feel like we want God to be all things', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.10) Gecko/2009042316 Firefox/3.0.10', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(3689, 380, 'Meredith', 'meridethdabek@hotmail.com', 'http://www.ordinarymer.com', '155.33.197.219', '2009-06-15 16:33:56', '2009-06-15 20:33:56', 'I humbly offer my own perspective as the child of divorced parents: it’s just as hard for us to let go as it is for you. I don’t presume to speak for your girls, but I know – for me - that it was hard to go back and forth between houses. I was missing stuff too. I had to let go of one to embrace the other. \r\n\r\nWhen I was really young, I was somewhat convinced that the minute I left one parent’s house for the other’s, the left-behind parent immediately started to party and have all sorts of fun without me. But once I realized that I was missed, just as much I was missing, that’s when I started to feel better, oddly enough. I suspect your girls know they are missed and that, I know, makes all the difference. \r\n\r\n(Yet another post I''ve told my own mother she had to read!)', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.11) Gecko/2009060215 Firefox/3.0.11', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
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(7744, 560, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2010-01-28 13:58:53', '2010-01-28 17:58:53', 'Angela, that''s so perceptive. I have a hard time being compassionate toward myself. Rather than recognizing that I''m worried about being late for something, I inwardly berate myself for not getting out of the house on time. Thanks for pointing out that aspect of compassion.\r\n\r\nsuzi, I''d like to hear more about what you mean by "setting boundaries." Do you mean you just need to be more clear with people, in a "sorry, I''m just grumpy today" way that shatters the possibility of passive aggressive communication? (I know that''s a healthy approach for me.)\r\n\r\nDave, you''re right! I didn''t even make that connection. Now I''m noticing that both posts have a reference to taking a pill of some sorts, too. I guess I shouldn''t be surprised that my mind wanders in somewhat connected, logical ways. :)\r\n\r\nThe Modern Gal, thanks for sharing that post. I need to start a collection of posts and writings I''ve read that give me the particular pep talks I tend to need.\r\n\r\nHollee, I''m glad you felt the universality of the post. I really do try to find that balance—to be true to how I experience things and the particulars that color my experience, but also to write about topics that can connect with many people on many levels. We''re all human, after all. :) And apparently we all get grumpy from time to time. You''re absolutely right, too, about the "hungry, angry, lonely or tired" factor. Recognizing those things helps me re-center, and ties in with what Angela was saying about self-compassion. Thanks for your comment!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.16) Gecko/2009120206 Firefox/3.0.16', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2395, 341, 'Cheryl Ensom Dack', 'roseyposeyclothes@yahoo.com', 'http://www.roseyposeyconfections.blogspot.com', '71.138.18.38', '2009-05-01 14:55:41', '2009-05-01 18:55:41', 'My experience is that whether you talk about them or not, stereotypes just ARE. Not only that, I think the most dangerous, insidious stereotypes are those that go un-talked-about.\r\n\r\nMy upbringing in a conservative, Christian home reinforced a number of stereotypes that I now see as silly and false, but only some of them were overtly taught/talked about. One stereotype that was particularly destructive in my life was the one that said, "women are not as good as men." No one EVER said those words aloud, but I got the message loud and clear: "Good men act morally; Good women change themselves to be acceptable. Even then, women are inherently less intelligent, especially when it comes to spiritual matters." This unspoken stereotype was reinforced everywhere I turned. My father made all the decisions and if my mom was pressed to make one, she would refuse to do so without first consulting my father. The pastors, deacons and elders in the churches we attended were all men. I felt tangibly that if I was going to be a "godly woman, I would have to basically silence my feelings, shut off many thoughts, eventually be willing to pour myself\r\nout for everyone but me in the role of wife and mother and (this was pretty unique to my family) repress my hunger and become as thin as possible. Basically, nothing about me was ok as is. I shut the door to my "knowing place." \r\n\r\nAs an adult, while dealing with the eating disorder my mother had essentially taught me (and that was silently backed up by the silence from my physician father), I found some incredible feminist books that challenged my body image but also challenged the gender stereotypes of my childhood. These authors NAMED the stereotypes and challenged the thinking behind them in a way I had never, ever heard previously. They gave me permission to feed myself, emote, feel and become. They said what my little girl heart had always been longing to hear: you are a woman and BECAUSE of that, you have things to offer the world that are not just good, but NECESSARY. \r\n\r\nYou see, the silent stereotypes I lived under were reinforced by my religion, culture and even...here''s the really awful one...by God. I understand now God doesn''t actually see me as inferior to someone else because of my gender any more than (s)he sees someone as being inferior because of the color of their skin. But as we saw in the Civil Rights movement, INSTITUTIONALIZED stereotypes and the resulting prejudice and even violence are the most insidious because they''ve been stitched into the very fiber of our culture, our religions, our laws and our hearts for so long that we can no longer pick the thread out without unraveling the entire tapestry. No one has to talk about them to make them powerful. \r\n\r\nSo do we keep talking about, exposing and pointing out stereotypes that have been largely debunked by the culture? Do we keep talking about racism, gender-descrimination and the objectification of women? Oh YES...a hundred times yes. Many if those feminist books that gave me back myself in many ways were written in the 70''s and 80''s by my mother''s peers. These books had given many of my mother''s peers permission to have professional careers, but I didn''t find them until age 19. At age 23, i thought I was "enlightened" about gender descrimination, but when I was served communion in church by a woman for the first time in my life, I WEPT.\r\n\r\nI have to keep exposing stereotypes, pointing out unfairness and talking about the past OUT LOUD. My girls are growing up in a society that gives women power....mostly. But the society was SHAPED until the last century by people who had a fundamental belief that women are less than. I can''t allow my daughters to grow up in the residue of that without calling the residue what it is. They have to know that any descrimination they encounter is not just wrong, but that their mother believes it''s wrong. \r\n\r\nOne last point! There are always negative stereotypes. Perhaps we as a society are mostly beyond discrimination? That''s debatable. But what is our blind spot TODAY? What beliefs/views do we hold that our grandchildren will be horrified by? Even if we don''t know what those will be, we MUST tell stories, remind our children of how far we''ve come and point out the residue. Why? Because it''s our stories, our courage, our mistakes and our battles, written on our children''s hearts, that will prime them to expose what we are blind to. We must teach them to spot stereotypes, discrimination, injustice and untruth BY EXAMPLE.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.1; SV1; FunWebProducts; .NET CLR 1.0.3705; .NET CLR 1.1.4322; Media Center PC 3.1; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; yplus 5.1.04b)', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(2314, 330, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2009-04-18 16:46:56', '2009-04-18 20:46:56', 'Krissy, isn''t that interesting, that we tend to see some people as closer or more connected to God because they are "professionals" or have a certain degree? Clearly some people are more learned when it comes to the Bible, and some people spend more time praying and meditating than others, but God speaks to all of us. Sometimes we just forget how to listen to him, because it seems so much easier to listen to other people.\r\n\r\nMeredith, I''m so glad you chose to speak up here. Your experience—particularly your sense of being shut out, and the disdain and distrust you''ve felt for the church—is exactly what compels me to write about these issues. I have to admit, most of the time I''d  rather not. I''d rather write about happy, funny things, that don''t make people uncomfortable. But when I hear about where you''re at, and your longing to be a part of a church community in spite of your hurt, it gives me lots of hope.\r\n\r\nKelley, you make a very good point about the pruning God does. I wrote about that very image in a post last month, "Making room for new life in an old faith." But the way you word this does not quite line up with what I have come to learn about God: "I believe He wants to amputate the things that are displeasing to Him and harmful to us." Maybe this is the key difference between my approach to the pruning metaphor versus the amputation metaphor: I think of pruning as something God does in my *life.* He has pruned things in my life, like harmful relationships and habits. But I think of amputation as cutting off a very part of who and what I am and was created to be. And I don''t believe he does that. Nothing about who we were created to be is "displeasing" to God. A good example might be a person''s sexuality. It can certainly be expressed in negative, harmful ways, or those energies and desires can be directed in beautiful, affirming ways. If we''ve struggled with our sexuality in the past, God doesn''t "amputate" it. He reworks and redeems it. \r\n\r\nTrina, finding hope and seeing beyond the "bunk"—what a great summary of what I ultimately set out to do in these posts! Thank you for recognizing that, and for letting me know that you do. :)\r\n\r\nElaine, this is a great connection—"the failure of those around us" and "the failure of our bodies." There are so many disappointing and distracting messages coming at us, whether they''re coming from people''s mouths or from within us. What''s important is that we learn to differentiate what God is saying to us, and focus in on that.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032608 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2391, 341, 'Trina', 'colour144@yahoo.com', '', '66.222.252.31', '2009-05-01 11:27:09', '2009-05-01 15:27:09', 'Often a stereotype stems from a lack of understanding, so if calling one out is for the purpose of fostering understanding I say go for it. As to how, certainly each person will have their own strength as to how. Consider your audience, the one you are trying to ''enlighten'' may well require a different approach. Ultimately if one feels strongly about ''the need for a smack down'' then they should, in terms of self authenticity. The person being ''smacked'' will let you know if your delivery was well received. :-)\r\nI really wanted to add a thought to the offering about your inconsistencies post, since these are related, will take the opportunity to add... When it comes to taking a stance on one side of a situation, one should not be afraid to LISTEN to both arguments. Knowing what the other side thinks should make ones own position stronger, or at least see another point of view. Just my opinion on that, and as always more could be said on it. Ha, Ha.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-GB; rv:1.9.0.10) Gecko/2009042316 Firefox/3.0.10 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2392, 337, 'Betty Duffy', 'bettyduffy2@yahoo.com', 'http://bettyduffy.blogspot.com', '67.177.100.218', '2009-05-01 11:57:38', '2009-05-01 15:57:38', '"There are plenty of Christians out there telling the world how great everything is but far too few dissenting voices that stand up to the power structure and publicly say “open your ears and hear!â€\r\n\r\nIsn''t this what the Catholics resisting Obama''s commencement speech are doing? For many of us, abortion is a grave human rights issue. And Obama did more than run on a pro-choice platform. In his first 100 days in office, he has overturned every possible legislation protecting the lives of the unborn that he could. He is moving dangerously close to removing conscience clauses that protect Catholic doctors, nurses and pharmacists from administering procedures they find morally reprehensible. Doing so would require the closing of one of the largest providers of free health care in the world: Catholic Hospitals. \r\n\r\nInviting Obama to speak at ND is a way of putting pretty face on a deeply resonating conflict of interest.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 7.0; Windows NT 6.0; SU 3.21; SLCC1; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; .NET CLR 3.0.04506; .NET CLR 1.1.4322)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(7475, 554, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '98.212.228.84', '2010-01-15 13:56:29', '2010-01-15 17:56:29', 'jen, since I''ve known Magpie Girl she has helped me, even in small ways, break out of my typical patterns and understandings of faith. I''m so glad I could introduce her to more people like you!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.16) Gecko/2009120206 Firefox/3.0.16', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(7476, 555, 'Trina', 'colour144@yahoo.com', '', '75.159.55.207', '2010-01-15 14:01:24', '2010-01-15 18:01:24', 'Every little action does matter, right down to the words. What amazes me is how people with the ''out there ideas'' believe they are just as right...and others just follow along, seemingly not thinking.\r\nSure, the word, the hug, the bottle of water may not solve everything, but wouldnt it be worse to not act? I figure it''s all the grains of flour that make the bread.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-GB; rv:1.9.1.7) Gecko/20091221 Firefox/3.5.7 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(2207, 300, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2009-04-03 13:58:39', '2009-04-03 17:58:39', 'Cheryl, that''s exactly how I felt when I first read the Marion Winik blurb. Why is that? What''s so raw and moving and true about it? I think you touch on it, in your comment: we all have fears, but it''s possible to "push over our walls, step out from our corners and meet one another in a lovely circle of women. We can ask questions, we can tell the Truth, we can comfort and embrace fellow humans with human pain, we can speak our fears and we can find common ground." Beautifully put. Thank you.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.7) Gecko/2009021906 Firefox/3.0.7', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2208, 316, 'Writer Dad', 'seanmichaelplatt@gmail.com', 'http://writerdad.com', '71.108.131.118', '2009-04-03 14:00:59', '2009-04-03 18:00:59', 'Exactamundo. I''ve read enough lists to last a lifetime. I don''t need tips to tell me how to live a better life, I just need to live it. Why do I read online? Sure, I like to feel current on the happenings around our big blue marble, but more than anything I want what people have wanted since we were drawing in caves. Stories.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_5_6; en-us) AppleWebKit/525.27.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/3.2.1 Safari/525.27.1', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2360, 337, 'Mark', 'harvey@me.com', '', '99.18.81.22', '2009-04-26 23:08:30', '2009-04-27 03:08:30', 'I think the concept is great, I wonder about the method.  Gregory Boyd (pastor from MN who wrote "Myth of a Christian Nation) referred to himself as a follower of Jesus when Tom Ashbrook asked him if he was a Christian on "On Point" (WGBH).  Pretty interesting that a minister would avoid the Christian label.  I think he avoided it because he moved past the label to what is really important--the radical love, thoughts and actions of Jesus.  I hear some of that radical love and grace in your and Jason''s story.  Maybe you should stick with that, move THAT forward (the examples of the transformative grace and peace).  I hope people who have had a poor religious experience, seen the hypocrisy, can someday understand that that is us just being us--that is, imperfect, weak humans.  Everyone falls into this category--Christians, Jesus followers, Buddhists or atheists (no Christians don''t have a corner on the hypocrisy market).  \r\n\r\nSo maybe I don''t think the Christians against Christians works if what you are talking about is what it means to want to try and follow the Jesus Way.  Even that phrase "the Jesus Way" will make people cringe.  In the end, the words fail; only our actions will ultimately fulfill.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; PPC Mac OS X 10_5_6; en-us) AppleWebKit/528.16 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0 Safari/528.16', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2361, 337, 'Blackwasp19', 'joshuacanada@gmail.comw', 'http://ww.blackwasp19.wordpress.com', '99.181.226.123', '2009-04-26 23:32:14', '2009-04-27 03:32:14', 'Modern Gal - I agree, I don''t think Obama would speak about abortion, but making these decisions aren''t as pure as you - or I - would want them to be. Commencement is an expression of an institution''s culture, which is why I also disagreed with Bush speaking at Calvin. Obama''s beliefs don''t fit ND''s culture and either did Bush''s beliefs fit Calvin''s culture. Administrators have to take in consideration the culture, history and constituencies of the institution. Good administrations do not make decisions based upon their own ideology, but on the influences of a variety of stake holders. It isn''t clean and clear, but it the ambiguous reality (which isn''t easy to balance).  \r\n\r\nKristen - \r\n\r\nI argue that Christians do ALOT for the world - though I also believe we are to be doing a lot more. Just I don''t see other organizations like Christian Community Development Association, World Vision, Salvation Army are making a huge impact. Christians are in the developing world and the inner-cities. I do think some Christians are behind on some issues (primarily environmental), but as far as sacrificial living many Christians (but not enough in my mind) live up to it.\r\n\r\nLook at Champaign, who is in inner-city Champaign?  Churches, and the Empty Tomb, they are the organizations making a difference. I desperately believe Christians are called to do more and I believe we struggle with being more American  (which manifest in a multiplicity of ways)  than Christian, but I also believe that we already to a great deal. This makes me think of atheist, Matthew Parris'' writing about the need for missionaries to Africa over non-Christian aid (http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/matthew_parris/article5400568.ece)\r\n\r\nAre there a ton of greedy, self-righteous, self-serving Christians? Yea, there are. But there are also many, perhaps more than people realize, who aren''t even close to that assessment. I think it is easy for our critiques to becoming bashing  - I am included. Christians need to be calling one another to be more righteous, not calling each other out to the world.  Greed and Self-righteousness are sins, as are lust, pride etc. we have to realize that and realize that the family who lives in a 2 million dollar house with two kids are - in my mind - dealing with sin and in like fashion, the family who has individuals on drugs, in gangs and mismanages money is also dealing with sin. \r\n\r\nHere is my worry about stereotypes. People comment negatively about fundamental Christianity all the time. I personally have my disagreements with the movement, but I also know a lot of WONDERFUL people who are doing incredible things (look up the Unlikely Disciple the story of a Brown student who went to Liberty University and was actually amazed by the genuineness of the people there and exposed man of the faulty stereotypes of his friends as Brown). Stereotypes of all types usually occur when we don''t know people. I think we need to be who we are and in that way debunk stereotypes, I don'' believe it is our job to try to say "Oh that is stereotypical . . . fill the blank" because the group we are referring to be it religiously, ethnically, culturally etc. is then lumped into that stereotype. In a sense we saying "that is those people, I am not like them".Defending ourselves from being stereotyped by those who know us, should be unnecessary, because they know who we are and they trust us. \r\n\r\nI guess, working against stereotypes seems inconsequential to me. As I black male I cannot concentrate on making sure people realize I am not a stereotype (I struggle with not doing that) I have to simple be who I am. My Christian walk seems similar. \r\n\r\nSorry for the long response.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.9) Gecko/2009040821 Firefox/3.0.9', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2362, 337, 'Nate', 'bear61982@gmail.com', '', '98.212.134.133', '2009-04-27 17:49:49', '2009-04-27 21:49:49', 'This conversation is fascinating.  I wonder how the idea of tolerance fits into all this.  I wonder if tolerance isn''t the short term answer, the cease fire that allows the understanding to begin.  Tolerance has always seemed tepid to me, but I think that''s the point: it isn''t a fiery response, but a mild one.  I once had a professor at UIUC who was a lesbian, and she posited that it wasn''t enough to be tolerated, that she wanted to be accepted.  On it''s face, this seems like a reasonable feeling, but the more I think about it the more I realize that that isn''t the way the world works.  People tolerate each other until they get to know each other, then get to like each other, then learn to love one another.  I know that I am big and loud and opinionated, and there are people every day who just tolerate me.  Sometimes even the people who love me just have to tolerate me because I''m doing something they don''t like.  Tolerance, to me, seems like the kindest form of disagreement.  If the conservatives at ND had simply tolerated Obama, we wouldn''t even be having this discussion.  Same for Bush at Calvin.  Some things, some actions, some ideas, shock the conscience and should not be tolerated, but I wonder if there is any human anywhere who is fundamentally intolerable? I don''t know, but I haven''t met them yet.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-US; rv:1.9.0.9) Gecko/2009040821 Firefox/3.0.9 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(2363, 312, 'Monday Matters: Followers of Jesus vs. Christians', '', 'http://www.thechurchgeek.com/archives/1178', '206.71.169.37', '2009-04-27 18:31:47', '2009-04-27 22:31:47', '[...] A case in point comes from Kristin, a blogger I&#8217;ve been following as of late, who writes of her struggle with the various labels currently in play. [...]', 0, '1', 'The Incutio XML-RPC PHP Library -- WordPress/2.7', 'pingback', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2364, 337, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2009-04-27 23:04:03', '2009-04-28 03:04:03', 'Mark, you put it just right: what matters is moving past the label to what is really important. And yes, when it comes down to it, people of all beliefs fall into the category of being imperfect, weak humans. I do hope that my own stories and experiences end up saying what needs to be said—showing, rather than telling. Sometimes, though, I feel like I need to get people to do a double-take and stick around long enough to hear the stories, even if they initially think this blog isn''t for them.\r\n\r\nBlackwasp19, it''s true—Christians do a lot for the world. I even know quite a few of them personally (including you!). My church''s commitment to mercy and justice issues was THE reason I decided to visit in the first place (and one of the main reasons I have stayed). I want to tell these stories and just go about showing who I am by how I live, but I don''t want to just preach to the choir here. My fear, particularly on my blog, is that people who have had bad experiences and strongly rooted stereotypes will catch a whiff of religion and go running off, never to return and hear the stories I want to tell. As I said in my response to Mark, I want them to know I might offer an approach to God that''s different from what they know and expect. Fighting the stereotypes isn''t my ultimate, final goal, it''s just the first step in encouraging a variety of people to stick around and hear a bit more.\r\n\r\nNate, thanks for jumping into the conversation! "Tolerance" is an interesting idea to introduce. It''s funny, I went through the same sort of response to the word that you did. At first it seems "tepid" and sort of fake. But then I really like what you pointed out—to some extent, we all tolerate one another until we get to know each other better and can form real affinities (or be sure there aren''t any). The thing I''m not OK with, though, is the aspect of tolerance that generally seems to require silence. If I had been at Calvin the day Bush spoke, I would not have wanted to practice that type of tolerance. I guess by showing up, I would have been demonstrating tolerance to some extent, but I only would have been OK doing that if there was a way for me to first clearly express how I felt about Bush being there.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032608 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2365, 339, 'karen', 'byrkar@gmail.com', 'http://outloudinmyhead.blogspot.com', '66.170.136.94', '2009-04-28 10:28:24', '2009-04-28 14:28:24', 'I have actually  been thinking about love languages the past several days, so this is  a timely post. I, too, am a quality time/physical affection gal. Unfortunately, those two love languages are quite challenging when you live alone. I''ve had to learn that the quality time I have with God is more important than any time I spend with any human. And I''ve learned physical affection isn''t about intimacy, but sometimes a hug fom a friend or a pat on the back is just what is needed. It''s another reason community is so important.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 7.0; Windows NT 5.1; .NET CLR 1.1.4322; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; .NET CLR 3.0.4506.2152; .NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2366, 339, 'Arathi', 'arathi.kylasam@gmail.com', '', '128.174.60.182', '2009-04-28 10:56:30', '2009-04-28 14:56:30', 'Oh, very cool post. I need to read that book. My love language is also quality time/physical affection. Dave''s is, I think, acts of service (based on what he responds to, although I should ask him this).... Do you think the quality time thing is gender-based?', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.3) Gecko/2008092417 Firefox/3.0.3 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2217, 316, 'Cheryl Ensom Dack', 'roseyposeyclothes@yahoo.com', 'http://www.roseyposeyconfections.blogspot.com', '69.238.95.157', '2009-04-03 18:16:23', '2009-04-03 22:16:23', 'Amen, Sister! ;) That''s exactly how I feel about mine. It''s a connecting point. It''s often "cute," often "fun" and is a sort of "store-front" a lot of the time. But the posts that I get the most soul-level feedback from are the ones where I bare my soul...talk about how human I am or what is difficult. In a blog full of fabric cupcakes, yummy fabric and delicious sewing projects, here are the two posts I have gotten the most heartfelt comments on:\r\n\r\n1)http://roseyposeyconfections.blogspot.com/2008/08/gettin-messy.html\r\n2)http://roseyposeyconfections.blogspot.com/2008/05/some-thoughts-on-mothers.html\r\n\r\nTelling! So don''t be useful...I''ll be mad and disappointed if you start trying to give me recipes and jogging tips!!!! lol :)', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.1; SV1; FunWebProducts; .NET CLR 1.0.3705; .NET CLR 1.1.4322; Media Center PC 3.1; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; yplus 5.1.04b)', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(2218, 316, 'Jennifer', 'hollyhousestudio@me.com', 'http://hollyhouse.blogspot.com', '70.177.70.72', '2009-04-03 18:45:30', '2009-04-03 22:45:30', 'Oh, poo on those experts. Who are they to define "useful." That would negate much of what exists in our world that we call "art." Why do people write novels, paint pictures, carve wood? It''s not "useful" but it is necessary. \r\n\r\nYou keep writing, girlfriend.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032608 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2219, 316, 'Jamie', 'jamie@intersectedblog.com', 'http://www.intersectedblog.com', '99.139.71.51', '2009-04-03 19:39:28', '2009-04-03 23:39:28', 'I think blog "rules" are limiting. And, it matters what your goal is. Some people want Digg front page status - but those posts are all very similar: stupid humor or really long lists of technology-related info. It''s geek humor. Cool. But not my style. And I''m guessing not yours. \r\n\r\nI have to say that I think "useful" is a really broad term. Useful for some people would mean long lists of tips and tricks and hacks. While, useful, to me, is a blog I can relate to and feel inspired by. \r\n\r\nI don''t have a husband, a dog, children, or any faith in Christianity, but your blog speaks to me. And that''s, in my opinion, the most useful you can strive to be. Because, while these useful blogs that the article talks about may be giving us all these tips, it''s not being useful for us in connecting with others. And, that''s the cornerstone of humanity, not tips and hacks for getting things done or getting a job or whatever else. Not that there is anything wrong with those posts, because there''s not. \r\n\r\nBut, limiting the usefulness of blogging to tips and tricks is narrowing. And it stops the flow of thought. And, I say, write from the heart and the right people will think your blog is useful. Because it is.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032608 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2220, 316, 'Trina', 'colour144@yahoo.com', '', '66.222.252.31', '2009-04-03 19:41:57', '2009-04-03 23:41:57', 'Oh wow Kirsten.Those who think ''useful'' has to be on the top of the list seem to forget the audience is wide and varied.... I''ve stayed here after being introduced to you via ''BlogHiker'' b/c I love the way you make a point WITH OUT making a list. Lets reference your memory making post for that one. In addition you encourage involvement via thought provoking questions. If I hit a site with lists, I tend to think ''been there, seen that, cant make stick around for more'' Having said that, I will be back for more of yours, Best, Trina', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-GB; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032609 Firefox/3.0.8 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2343, 334, 'Cheryl Ensom Dack', 'roseyposeyclothes@yahoo.com', 'http://www.roseyposeyconfections.blogspot.com', '71.138.18.38', '2009-04-22 16:33:44', '2009-04-22 20:33:44', 'Oh you rely do have a "real job," even according to the "saving lives" definition! I might be curled up in a weepy ball in the corner if you hadn''t been "holding my hand" through what I''m going through. You are certainly making a difference in people''s lives.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (iPod; U; CPU iPhone OS 2_2_1 like Mac OS X; en-us) AppleWebKit/525.18.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Mobile/5H11a', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(2344, 334, 'Ashley', 'ashleygvelez@gmail.com', 'http://www.ashleygraceless.com', '68.153.33.3', '2009-04-22 18:01:51', '2009-04-22 22:01:51', 'Oh wow.  Don''t want to be a downer, but this post made me really take a second look at my job.  My "real job" is assisting people who get rich via multimillion dollar sales transactions.  I really dislike it; it''s a soul-crushing job that doesn''t encourage thinking outside the box of any kind, but it''s paying my bills.  Whenever I complain to my Mom about how unhappy I am, she tells me I should be thankful I have a job and I feel terribly guilty for complaining in the first place.  At the same time, it''s not helping anyone except the sales giants I work for, so I can''t help but feel like it doesn''t matter.  \r\n\r\nOn a brighter note, I''m working towards being able to work from home or figure out another way to make a living that I can actually feel good about. :)', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032608 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2345, 334, 'Daisy', 'okaybyme@gmail.com', 'http://compostermom.blogspot.com', '75.62.43.76', '2009-04-22 19:39:28', '2009-04-22 23:39:28', 'sigh. Maybe that''s why I''m disliking my job so much lately. It matters -- a lot -- but we''re continually asked to do more with less. I''m a public school teacher, and worrying more every day. How can I educate these kids if they''re not fed? Clothed? If their parents encourage them to misbehave, teaching them that it''s cool? \r\nRough day at school -- I am rethinking my career, big time.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 7.0; Windows NT 6.0; WOW64; SLCC1; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; .NET CLR 3.0.04506; Media Center PC 5.0)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2346, 334, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2009-04-22 23:19:41', '2009-04-23 03:19:41', 'JR, I feel very fortunate that my life''s mission and my life''s work do overlap a fair amount (I could draw a very sweet-looking Venn diagram). For instance, the article I just wrote about Evelyn Busby leverages my interviewing and writing skills, it communicates an important story about an under-recognized group of people, AND I''ll get paid nicely for my work. I think it''s good to think about how and where our talents overlap with our passions, and to try to align them more and more as we build our careers. Very few people enjoy the perfect combination, but we can all strive to gradually get closer to that ideal. How are things going for you, in that department? :)\r\n\r\nPatrick, I''m SO happy to hear more about how your job shift has affected your sense of identity and value. You''re absolutely right—when our perspective and outlook shift in healthy ways, it changes how we interact with others and approach our work. As you said, "I think there is so much to be said about helping people find value and self worth for being who they are, rather than letting what they do define self worth." Amen!\r\n\r\nCheryl, I can''t tell you how good it feels to think that I''ve done something to help you through a hard time these past few weeks! You''re not alone—I imagine there are a lot of people who need this kind of hope and support, even if their need isn''t obvious. I also suspect that you''ll be helping others through similar rough patches down the road. :)\r\n\r\nAshley, I was actually thinking of you when I was wrapping up this post. I know you''ve been struggling with your job situation—I just didn''t know exactly what kind of job you have. That makes it even harder! I do believe, though, that you can do important things that make a difference at your current job, even if they''re little things. I also believe you have a bright, satisfying future of work ahead of you. Keep working toward those goals!\r\n\r\nDaisy, yes, your job matters a LOT. I''m so sorry your day (or month?) has been rough, and that more people don''t truly value what you do. (Have I mentioned my dad was a public school teacher? I''m a fan.) But just because the work matters doesn''t mean you have to let it beat you down. The work you do within your family and on your blog and in your community matters, too. If your day job ruins you, you won''t be able to do any of those things with energy and heart. I hope you''re able to find some balance and peace soon.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032608 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2347, 334, 'Jessica', 'bernzee@mac.com', 'http://bernthis.typepad.com', '71.156.59.41', '2009-04-23 02:32:50', '2009-04-23 06:32:50', 'I got certified as a personal trainer and didn''t pursue it any further b/c I realized holy moly, if I screw this up, I could kill this person. NOt for me thanks although I so respect those like your friend the nurse who take on these challenges everyday.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_5_6; en-us) AppleWebKit/525.27.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/3.2.1 Safari/525.27.1', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2348, 334, 'Chris Edgar | Purpose Power Coaching', 'chris@purposepowercoaching.com', 'http://www.purposepowercoaching.com', '63.251.57.1', '2009-04-23 14:35:26', '2009-04-23 18:35:26', 'Thanks for this post.  I can get why seeing your job as "convincing people to buy things" would have it look kind of discouraging to you, like you were manipulating people or forcing them to obey you.  But I''m curious how it would look if you focused on the contribution you''re making to people by helping them get the products and services they want.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 7.0; Windows NT 5.1; InfoPath.1; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; .NET CLR 3.0.04506.648; .NET CLR 3.0.4506.2152; .NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(2349, 334, 'Trina', 'colour144@yahoo.com', '', '66.222.252.31', '2009-04-23 19:18:43', '2009-04-23 23:18:43', 'My definition of what matters goes along the lines of doing what we do to the best of our abilites, with sincerity and geniune attention. You do that right? Some of it you get paid for, and some not. You could look wistfully at those whose jobs are defined as important, but since they arent your forte, it wouldnt really matter, right? Finally, I couldnt agree more with reframing your contribution as described by Chris Edgar.\r\nSincerely,\r\nTrina', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-GB; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032609 Firefox/3.0.8 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2350, 334, 'JR Moreau', 'james.r.moreau@gmail.com', 'http://notsoliteral.blogspot.com', '68.118.244.136', '2009-04-23 21:18:25', '2009-04-24 01:18:25', 'Great thread of responses on here. Kudos Kristen!\r\n\r\nI feel one day closer to my goal every day. I set a time limit for myself too, so that helps. All that needs doing is preparation and I''ll continue the hard work. I guess freelancing and copy writing won''t be intrinsically good for society, but I''m hoping to write for clients in industries that are doing good both socially and ecologically, so if I can help them flourish, then I''ll feel good about that along with working for myself doing something I love.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032609 Firefox/3.0.8 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(2351, 334, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2009-04-24 00:07:08', '2009-04-24 04:07:08', 'Jessica, thanks for making me nearly spit out my coffee, as usual! You are too funny (but I appreciate your serious side, too, which you have revealed a fair amount of in comments on my blog).\r\n\r\nChris, there''s plenty of marketing in the world that does take on an evil glint, representing greed, creating a false sense of need, have sharply defining the haves and have-nots. But you''re right—there can be a good purpose behind marketing, too. I''ve been doing this type of work for almost 15 years, and it feels much more like a sharing of information than manipulation. Thanks for the good perspective!\r\n\r\nTrina, I really like your definition of work that matters: "doing what we do to the best of our abilities, with sincerity and genuine attention." One of the things Evelyn Busby (who I interviewed and wrote about) told me was that her father always said this: "You bring integrity to your job, your job doesn''t give you integrity." Very wise and fitting for our conversation.\r\n\r\nJR, thanks! I really love it when I can see people are working out various issues and ideas here on the blog. There''s nothing more satisfying. And I''m very excited about your goals and plans, and all the work you''re doing to achieve them. I have a feeling things are going to work out well for you. :)', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032608 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2352, 334, 'Jamie Varon', 'jamie@intersectedblog.com', 'http://www.intersectedblog.com', '99.139.71.51', '2009-04-24 03:27:55', '2009-04-24 07:27:55', 'I knew I would love this post based purely on the title. A "real job." Just like a "useful blog." Who defines these things? \r\n\r\nSince graduating, people have seen my resume and have told me that the jobs I did or the experience I gained in college was not "real experience." I didn''t have a "real job" in college, even though, for example, I worked for a year helping faculty members at the college be empowered by technology. I was literally facilitating higher education through the use of modern technology, but I guess that doesn''t constitute as "real experience" because, you know, I was still in college? How about the fact that I learned more valuable skills with an extracurricular program I was involved in than my internship where I moved to LA for 2 months? \r\n\r\nPeople define my experience as real or... fake? Just as people will define blogs as useful or not. There seems to be no point in creating these definitions or adhering to them, yet people continue to. I''d say a real job is one where you make money, but even that doesn''t fit.\r\n\r\nBecause, as you pointed out about your writing, I feel like my very "useless" blog is a real job. Why? Because it matters and I care enough about it to continue working for my goals. \r\n\r\nKristin, seriously, your topics and the way you write are both so outstanding. I admire you.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032608 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2353, 334, 'Barbara Swafford', 'barbara@bloggingwithoutablog.com', 'http://bloggingwithoutablog.com', '72.0.161.77', '2009-04-24 04:09:12', '2009-04-24 08:09:12', 'Hi Kristin - What I find interesting is how being self employed, as we are, when I''m working in the home office, if someone comes by, they don''t think I''m doing a "real job" and will often sit and chat for way too long. Although the phone may not be ringing off the hook, my work is still there.  \r\n\r\nPlus, I often have to get back to blogging and Twittering, too.  Haha!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.9) Gecko/2009040821 Firefox/3.0.9 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2355, 334, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '76.199.6.152', '2009-04-24 12:30:33', '2009-04-24 16:30:33', 'Jamie, your stories about your lack of so-called "real experience" get me all worked up! But I''m sort of worked up today, anyway. :) Still, those are perfect illustrations of how ridiculous these social definitions of "real" and "useful" are. You are working hard to define all of those things for yourself, though, so you will be just fine. More than fine. (Btw, your compliment has given me fuel for days, I think! It means a lot, particularly coming from you.)\r\n\r\nBarbara, oh, I can so relate! Don''t get me started! As a freelancer, I often feel like people just assume I can drop everything, whenever. If you wear jeans and work from home or sit in a cafe rather than in a real office, you clearly don''t have real deadlines or make real money. It''s a difficult misconception to fight.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032608 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'N');
INSERT INTO `wp_d8mand_comments` (`comment_ID`, `comment_post_ID`, `comment_author`, `comment_author_email`, `comment_author_url`, `comment_author_IP`, `comment_date`, `comment_date_gmt`, `comment_content`, `comment_karma`, `comment_approved`, `comment_agent`, `comment_type`, `comment_parent`, `user_id`, `comment_subscribe`) VALUES
(2356, 337, 'Blackwasp19', 'joshuacanada@gmail.comw', 'http://ww.blackwasp19.wordpress.com', '99.181.226.123', '2009-04-24 13:48:37', '2009-04-24 17:48:37', 'I do not agree with the response of some individuals, but I also do not  agree with having Obama speak at commencement. Notre Dame is an incredibly ideologically diverse institution. Their professors come from a number of stations in life, they are by no means giving a monolithic education Also, ND a private institution they can - and should - be able to choose who they wish to speak on campus. \r\n\r\nIn my opinion, the administrators slipped up on this one. They had to realize that this choice would evoke backlash. Commencement is not the right venue to have someone who is ideologically opposed to something the institution is adamantly for. If Obama couldn''t speak on campus at all, then I believe there is an issue. \r\n\r\nJust because Obama is the president does not mean that his words are or should be valued everywhere. It is possible to avidly disagree, but yet still acknowledge someone as a leader. That, in my mind, is what ND should have stood on.\r\n\r\nJust as many were upset with Calvin, so ND alum and constituencies are upset with ND. \r\n\r\nI want to know why you believed Calvin''s invitation to Bush reinforcing stereotypes? On the base level I understand - that does not need clarification. But I think assuming that something will reinforce stereotypes and speaking as if it will actually does more to fortify stereotypes and mis-persepctions than it would if we just accepted it as part of the culture - that doesn''t mean we have to like it.. \r\n\r\nI personally wouldn''t have asked Bush to speak - it was a dumb move  by administration.I also believe that Calvin had the right to invite bush and constituencies had the write to protest, just like this ND situation.\r\n\r\nWe have to be careful, if we are allowing people to stand up for what they believe in that means we have to be OK with Bush speaking at Calvin and Obama not speak at ND. Though they may disagree with own on views, people honestly do have that viewpoint.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.9) Gecko/2009040821 Firefox/3.0.9', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2325, 312, 'Steve Fridsma', 'sfridsma@progressiveae.com', '', '216.120.137.174', '2009-04-20 12:44:15', '2009-04-20 16:44:15', 'Ron Martoia recently wrote a book, "Static", that questions the degree of "Christianese" the church employs to the detriment of our mission in the world. It calls for a new lexicon that speaks to emerging generations, a lexicon that is closer to the original meanings of spiritual terms. I found it helpful to read about how Christian missionaries are often deservedly celebrated as innovative when they discover how to break though to a remote tribe by idiomatically translating scripture to place the human soul in the palm or throat, for example; and observes that certain attempts to do this for our own North American youth culture get accused of "selling out" or "watering down" the gospel. \r\n\r\n"Gospel" - now there''s a word that could use some examination and re-lexiconing!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.1; SV1; .NET CLR 1.1.4322; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; .NET CLR 3.0.04506.648; .NET CLR 3.5.21022; InfoPath.2; .NET CLR 3.0.4506.2152; .NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(2326, 330, 'Sam', 'sundayschoolrebel@yahoo.com', 'http://www.sundayschoolrebel.typepad.com', '75.66.4.241', '2009-04-20 14:23:04', '2009-04-20 18:23:04', 'Kristin, I am SO GLAD to have found you. I really needed to hear this - such a powerful realization! I''ve been really struggling in the midst of a group I''ve found myself in. I think it''s important for me to be there, but it''s hard to feel like I''m a heathen, to know that I believe *so differently* even though we''re all following Jesus. I fluctuate between wanting to be like *them* (in full people-pleaser mode) and knowing that I can''t go back, I can only be who I am and who God wants &amp; calls me to be.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US) AppleWebKit/525.19 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/1.0.154.53 Safari/525.19', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2327, 332, 'TJ Hirst', 'tj@tjhirst.com', 'http://www.tjhirst.com/', '71.217.181.35', '2009-04-20 14:35:13', '2009-04-20 18:35:13', 'House cleaning during spring time is not a dreaded one, as it is in other times of the year; this time of year makes me want to wrap up my internal struggles and repent myself. Great metaphor. You took it just far enough without summing it all up and that leaves me thinking.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032609 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2328, 332, 'Cheryl Ensom Dack', 'roseyposeyclothes@yahoo.com', 'http://www.roseyposeyconfections.blogspot.com', '71.138.18.38', '2009-04-20 17:51:37', '2009-04-20 21:51:37', 'As always, kristin, thank you for talking about the not-so-pretty stuff. Just  reading real stuff in another''s life is like eating a meal of steak and asparagus after a week of fast food and packaged crap food. \r\nI completely identify with your metaphor. I don''t even have a freaking bed in my metaphorical bedroom ;) but I''d much rather sleep on the cold, hard floor for awhile than on my comfy bed that I know has a family of dust bunnies underneath! Ok maybe just alligators....', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (iPod; U; CPU iPhone OS 2_2_1 like Mac OS X; en-us) AppleWebKit/525.18.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/3.1.1 Mobile/5H11a Safari/525.20', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(2329, 332, 'Daisy', 'okaybyme@gmail.com', 'http://compostermom.blogspot.com', '75.62.43.76', '2009-04-20 19:39:22', '2009-04-20 23:39:22', 'I have an awful lot of inner junk right now, mainly job related. My house needs cleaning, too, but me? I can''t wait until summer to clean out both the real and virtual selves.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 7.0; Windows NT 6.0; WOW64; SLCC1; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; .NET CLR 3.0.04506; Media Center PC 5.0)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2526, 343, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2009-05-05 23:32:07', '2009-05-06 03:32:07', 'TJ, I love that your neighborhood expects you on Sunday afternoons. Here''s to warmer mornings way up in your neck of the woods, so you can resume your solitary walks soon.\r\n\r\nTracy, I''m glad the post resonated with you! I remember those double stroller walks well, and how they were my life saver, too. In fact, I''ve insisted that every house I''ve lived in as an adult be within walking distance of various interesting cafes, food co-ops, libraries, etc. And you''re right—in neighborhoods like the ones we live in, why wouldn''t everyone be walking everywhere? \r\n\r\nBlackwasp19, that''s so insightful for you to recognize how you and Alyssa both benefit from walks together, but in slightly different ways, for your own reasons. It sounds like you''ve hit on a marriage super food, so to speak! (And I can already picture you with those kids and that dog.) :)\r\n\r\nRandi, I was MUCH less likely to walk places when I lived in a city where everyone seemed to drive everywhere. For the past eight years, I''ve lived in a college town where biking and walking is the norm. That alone has given me a different perspective on how I get around. Changing habits in these ways is mostly about a paradigm shift, it seems. Anyway, I''m glad you''re going to get back into walking! Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment.\r\n\r\nCheryl, what you said about being aware of your body and "feeling more" when you run is really fascinating. I bet there''s something physiological going on (not that I''m a biologist or anything). Whatever it is, I''m glad you''ve found some powerful releases in your life.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.10) Gecko/2009042315 Firefox/3.0.10', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2331, 330, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2009-04-21 01:06:12', '2009-04-21 05:06:12', 'Sam, that makes me SO glad, too! With just the little bit you''ve shared about your situation, I can completely imagine myself in it. For most of us, the people-pleaser mode has a mighty strong pull—one that we have to intentionally, consistently resist. But you''re absolutely right: "I can’t go back, I can only be who I am and who God wants &amp; calls me to be." And I guess that''s part of the whole point: He doesn''t create and call us to all be the same, which in my mind indicates there''s a lot less "right and wrong" and "black and white" than many people want to think.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032608 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
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(2333, 332, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2009-04-21 01:17:23', '2009-04-21 05:17:23', 'TJ, I hadn''t thought about that desire for inner purging being tied to spring, but I think that''s definitely the case in my life, too. Great point! And I''m glad that you''re thinking on the metaphor. It''s nice to post about things I don''t have all figured out, and then to see what others discover. (Let me know!)\r\n\r\nCheryl, yes, dust bunnies are definitely "real stuff!" Thanks for accepting your messy-housed friend (complete with my messy inner and outer lives). \r\n\r\nDaisy, I''m sure, as a teacher, spring cleaning of any sort isn''t much of a reality. Once summer hits, do you have a certain ritual or thing you do (besides gardening, of course) to help cleanse out the inner junk?', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032608 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2334, 332, 'jenx67', 'jenx67@cox.net', 'http://www.jenx67.com', '68.227.97.30', '2009-04-21 06:40:52', '2009-04-21 10:40:52', 'Our homes are so similar! I know the horror of painting over dark trim, walls, etc. \r\n\r\nMy favorite part was when I got to the end and heard about everything piled in the laundry baskets, b/c my goodness, our homes aren''t just alike b/c of hardwood floors and beveled windows. I have the same laundry baskets - with magazines; lone socks; clothes for handwashing; clothes outgrown. These represent metaphors for my cluttered mind.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 7.0; Windows NT 6.0; SLCC1; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; Media Center PC 5.0; .NET CLR 3.0.04506; InfoPath.2)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2335, 332, 'Jeb', 'jebdickerson@mac.com', 'http://www.howtomatter.com', '71.237.106.69', '2009-04-21 19:14:43', '2009-04-21 23:14:43', 'Really thoughtful post KT, one I can dig on a personal level for sure. Fitting that it''s spring, I suppose...because I''ve got some cleaning to do. But let''s leave it there why don''t we..no sense discussing the dirt.\r\n\r\nBut I will say this young lady, it''s a great relief to know I''m not the only one with a stack of unfinished books.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_5_6; en-us) AppleWebKit/525.27.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/3.2.1 Safari/525.27.1', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(2336, 332, 'Meredith', 'meridethdabek@hotmail.com', 'http://www.twitter.com/McMer314', '66.31.58.31', '2009-04-21 20:32:27', '2009-04-22 00:32:27', 'When I ponder my own attempts at "inner spring cleaning," I think I do what most of us 20-somethings do when our parents plan to visit: clean just enough so that it''s presentable / livable, but not enough that it''s <i>really</i> clean. \r\n\r\nOn the one hand, it means you (or really, I) have to keep coming back and cleaning again and again to keep things manageable. This means I''m constantly having to reflect on those things I''ve rather forget, which is probably good. On the other hand, each attempt at "light cleaning" means you''re only putting a band-aid on the issue and not actually making any progress. \r\n\r\n(Okay, I think I''ve sufficiently killed the metaphor now.)', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.4; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032608 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(2337, 332, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2009-04-21 22:37:16', '2009-04-22 02:37:16', 'jenx67, I guess I shouldn''t be surprised that our homes are so similar, seeing as how our very LIVES are so similar! And I thought the random laundry baskets were my very original trick. :) Do you think that clutter is just a metaphor for our minds, or is there also a direct connection? I''m amazed at how much emotional peace I feel when my physical space has been put in order—not entirely perfect, because it never is, but just when things have been addressed head-on rather than piled and shoved.\r\n\r\nJeb, will there ever be enough time to read, again? I remember a time in my life when I regularly devoured books. Oh, I guess that was pre-kids, pre-blog. But we don''t even have TV—at least not one that gets channels—and still there''s never enough time to read. Sigh.\r\n\r\nMeredith, I love this! You didn''t kill the metaphor at all—we each might have wounded it, but sometimes you have to push metaphors a bit, to get to something interesting. This idea of internally cleaning *just enough* to make ourselves presentable is really perceptive. Yes, that kind of cleaning ends up constantly wearing on us, because it''s never done "right."', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032608 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2338, 332, 'Krissy', 'krissy.thomas@gmail.com', 'http://www.blissfullykrissy.blogspot.com', '207.224.125.125', '2009-04-22 00:01:30', '2009-04-22 04:01:30', 'i''m going through the cleaning/painting phase in my bedroom as well...both mentally and physically. i want my intimate places to be where I turn for comfort and rest. i''m so tired of closing the door and hoping nobody goes there because of the fear I have of what they''ll see when they open the door to the stacks, piles and falling towers behind the closed door. I hope your spring cleaning delivers the results you need and want. :)', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9) Gecko/2008051202 Firefox/3.0', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2339, 318, 'Save the Earth and Your Relationship | Nashville Marriage Studio', '', 'http://nashvillemarriagestudio.com/blog/uncategorized/save-the-earth-and-your-relationship/', '72.167.232.77', '2009-04-22 00:35:57', '2009-04-22 04:35:57', '[...] Pick Up Litter and Say You&#8217;re Sorry - Relationships become littered with &#8220;bad behavior&#8221;, so take time to put that bad behavior in it&#8217;s right place by saying sorry.  But don&#8217;t just say sorry, act sorry.  Great post on this topic here. [...]', 0, '1', 'The Incutio XML-RPC PHP Library -- WordPress/2.7.1', 'pingback', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2340, 334, 'JRMoreau', 'james.r.moreau@gmail.com', 'http://notsoliteral.blogspot.com', '66.100.249.194', '2009-04-22 13:13:58', '2009-04-22 17:13:58', 'A challenge in life is aligning your life''s mission with your life''s work. Some people can fulfill their needs by doing a combination of the both and some are even lucky enough to have them both be the same thing. \r\n\r\nIf the good you are doing isn''t paying you dollars, you''re reaping benefits one way or another as are those you''re helping. :-)', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032609 Firefox/3.0.8 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(2341, 334, 'Patrick Bowen', 'patrickbowen@unraveledideamill.com', 'http://www.unraveledideamill.com', '99.184.225.134', '2009-04-22 13:16:11', '2009-04-22 17:16:11', 'My perspective on jobs and work has changed dramatically over the past 7-8 months due to getting laid off and getting a new job.  At my first employer I felt like I was required to be somewhere at a certain time.  Over the two and a half years I worked there I found that I based most of my value and identity on my "work".\r\n\r\nAt my new job I am not required to be anywhere at anytime, but I do have an office.  I feel my perspective on my value and identity is now largely based on who I am, not where I work.  \r\n\r\nIn reality I work more at the office now than I did at my last job, but the change in perspective in value and identity has done wonderful things.  I can''t claim that I focus on changing the lives of people like Evelyn, but I can say that my perception of coworkers, work/life balance, and intrinsic motivation has tilted more to a personal growth and development perspective rather than a professional development mindset.\r\n\r\nThe outcome?  When we focus on growing people as people they also grow professionally with leaps and bounds.  I think there is so much to be said about helping people find value and self worth for being who they are, rather than letting what they do define self worth.\r\n\r\nLastly,  I applaud the work of Evelyn and also your work Kristin, for posting these questions and thought provoking articles.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032608 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(2342, 332, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '76.199.6.152', '2009-04-22 14:48:00', '2009-04-22 18:48:00', 'Krissy, it sounds like you know *exactly* what I''m talking about! It''s such a balancing act, isn''t it? I hate to spend energy worrying about what others might think about the state of my house—I''d rather be someone who spends time with her kids and derives joy from cooking and gardening, etc. than someone with a perfectly clean house. At the same time, as you point out, we need spaces we can turn to for comfort and rest. Let me know how you manage the balance!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032608 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2315, 330, 'Scott', 'scott@tecthought.com', 'http://tecthought.com', '68.52.44.200', '2009-04-19 15:08:24', '2009-04-19 19:08:24', 'I''m a bit speechless.  All I can say, and it comes from the depths of my souls, is AMEN Kristin!  I feel like I should say more, but you''ve said it all.  God is so much more awesome than what tradition tells us.  I''m just in awe.  Thanks so much!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (X11; U; Linux i686; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032711 Ubuntu/8.10 (intrepid) Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(2316, 330, 'The Modern Gal', 'themoderngal@gmail.com', 'http://themoderngal.blogspot.com', '67.187.116.24', '2009-04-19 21:19:55', '2009-04-20 01:19:55', 'Great post. Living in the South, I find myself face to face with these so-called Christians like the ones Keren was surrounded by. I found myself resenting them many, many times over because their type of Christianity just didn''t jibe with me. But, I''m learning to trust my own faith and my own belief of what being a Christian is and trying to pray for these people who do use their religion to treat others unjustly.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_5_6; en-us) AppleWebKit/525.27.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/3.2.1 Safari/525.27.1', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2317, 328, 'The Modern Gal', 'themoderngal@gmail.com', 'http://themoderngal.blogspot.com', '67.187.116.24', '2009-04-19 21:23:33', '2009-04-20 01:23:33', 'I''ll take issue with the argument. I''m on the border between being GenX and GenY. I moved to a new city about a year and a half ago and brought my Twittering habit with me. Fortunately for me, my new city is very plugged in via Twitter, and local Twitter users started finding me there, and I found them. Pretty soon we started meeting up in real life -- and that included community leaders and the average gal like myself. If anything, Twitter helped me to strengthen my ties to my community in a way that I hadn''t experienced before.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_5_6; en-us) AppleWebKit/525.27.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/3.2.1 Safari/525.27.1', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2318, 193, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2009-04-20 00:03:24', '2009-04-20 04:03:24', 'Cheryl, thank you for your honesty, too. I know you are going through a really difficult time of confusion and indecision. I don''t know if this is a comfort at all, but I really don''t believe there is one "perfect" path for you to find and choose. There''s hard work and heartache and hope down every possible path—and also God''s redeeming love. Try resting in that peace for a while, since you''re feeling overwhelmed, and see where it takes you.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032608 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2319, 330, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2009-04-20 00:14:37', '2009-04-20 04:14:37', 'Scott, I''m so glad these words moved you and touched some deep part of you. As I mentioned in my response to Meredith, even though it''s tempting to just tell funny, happy stories, I often feel a topic like this just nagging at my soul, in a way that''s impossible to ignore. In the end, because of people like you, I''m always glad I paid attention and put down the words that needed to be written.\r\n\r\nModern Gal, I have a Christian friend who''s a Yankee kid transplanted to the South. Her stories and frustrations sound very similar to yours. What you say about "learning to trust [your] own faith" is so important. I''ve noticed that confidence growing in myself these past few years. It''s a confidence that''s similar to a teenager who''s able to have their own very distinct style rather than just wearing what everyone else has determined is currently "in." It''s so freeing, isn''t it?', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032608 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2320, 328, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2009-04-20 00:19:10', '2009-04-20 04:19:10', 'Modern Gal, I can completely see how Twitter would shape your physical community. If I moved now, particularly into a larger city with a more active Twitter population, the same thing would happen to me, I''m sure. People who have had experiences like yours need to keep sharing them, and demonstrating how these various on-line and real-life realms can increasingly connect and feed each other.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032608 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2321, 312, 'Old Pete', 'old.pete@ntlworld.com', 'http://oldpete66.blogspot.com', '81.98.160.48', '2009-04-20 10:37:24', '2009-04-20 14:37:24', 'Just come here from Divine Nobodies.\r\n\r\nLet me encourage you to look at this from a different perspective.\r\n\r\nConsider "Christendom" and then ask yourself whether you are a Christian!\r\n\r\nFor one description of Christendom see http://uk.geocities.com/oldpete66/christendom.html\r\n\r\nIn a similar way consider how you might answer someone who says that they don''t believe in God.  How about, "Tell me something about that God you don''t believe in; I might not believe in him either"', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-GB; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032609 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(2322, 330, 'Ron Simkins', 'simkins@Illinois.edu', '', '76.199.8.150', '2009-04-20 11:49:49', '2009-04-20 15:49:49', 'Hi Kristin,\r\n\r\nAs always, I enjoyed and am challenged by your writing.  This time especially referring to "The Problem with letting people speak for God."  I appreciated very much the two steps of personal growth that you shared near the end.  Three comments:\r\n\r\n(1)  As one of those "professionals" referred to in several of the responses, let me assure everyone that we are not more "holy" than others.  I know many sisters and brothers with simpler, more direct, and more loving faithfulness than I have ever been able to muster even with God''s help -- even though , I really care about continuing to grow.  So, I would say, please never be intimidated by a "God professional," there is no such person.  Like experts in all other fields, even the most expert biblical language scholar, counselor, church administrator, meditation technicques guru, or media communicator is only an expert in that specific area, not in faithfulness to the living God.  Never let any religious leader try to tell you differently.  I have known many, and they have all been, like me, at best seekers for more of God, and at worst arrogant spokespersons for that which is not really God.\r\n(2)  There is a great Rabbinic story that emphasizes your point about growing by learning to be more who you were meant to be yourself.  A young Rabbi kept beating himself up because he couldn''t be more like Moses, until the wise old Rabbi said to him, "Eli, when you stand before God, God won''t ask you why you didn''t live more like Moses, God will ask you why you didn''t live more like Eli."\r\n(3)  I agree about not letting "experts" overwhelm us and intimidate us about what God is saying to us.  But, we do have to live in a polarity that is dynamic and risky.  We cannot let others speak for God as though they were God, and yet at the same time most of what God speaks to us comes through "incarnation" -- ie., through people past and present including both other people and ourselves.  God''s chosen method of communicating is through people.  People are God''s method, means, and purpose.  That is why it is so important that we push one another to both hear and speak in terms of the big picture of God who loves us enough to love us as we are, and also loves us enough to push us to keep being more the wonderful person we are made to be.\r\n\r\nAgain, thanks Kristin for pushing all the right buttons.  You often do!\r\n\r\nRon', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 7.0; Windows NT 5.1; GTB5; .NET CLR 1.1.4322)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2323, 312, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '76.227.79.186', '2009-04-20 12:31:33', '2009-04-20 16:31:33', 'Old Pete, I''m glad you came by. Your perspective is a really helpful, refreshing one. The thing I''m caught between, I guess, is finding a term that feels true to me, and who I am, while also communicating something clearly to others. In other words, I want to be accurate and also clear. That''s the tricky thing about new terms and less familiar ones, like "Christendom." I really love this response, though: “Tell me something about that God you don’t believe in; I might not believe in him either.â€ That''s great.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032608 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2324, 330, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '76.227.79.186', '2009-04-20 12:41:12', '2009-04-20 16:41:12', 'Ron, your take on being a "God professional" (I see it in all the pastors at our church) is very refreshing. It''s one of the main reasons I came (and stayed) in this community of believers. Thank you for the honesty and humility and desire to seek for more of God. Regarding what you say about God speaking through others—yes! This is the tricky part of it all. It would be relatively easy to just tune people out and say "I''m busy listening to God." But I know, first-hand, that "People are God’s method, means, and purpose," as you say. For me, discerning which words are from God and which aren''t has had a lot to do with gradually better understanding who God is—through the Bible and teachings and what I believe he''s done in my life. As my understanding of God grows, my ability to identify his true voice grows, too.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032608 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(2724, 349, 'Meredith', 'meridethdabek@hotmail.com', 'http://twitter.com/McMer314', '66.31.58.31', '2009-05-11 20:18:37', '2009-05-12 00:18:37', 'As a reader, I find it''s much easier to comment, disagree, debate, etc. online. Online, it''s more about one person saying something, then another person commenting. It''s hard to be interrupted (unless you''re chatting in real time). This means that you have to (or get to) respond to what the person is saying/typing, not necessarily the person him or herself. \r\n\r\nI''m more likely to share what I really think online b/c I can take the time to write out what I want to say and make sure it''s exactly what I mean. And even though I use my real name, with links to my real self, there''s still a bit of a protective bubble with the Internet b/c it''s not face-to-face. (I actually wrote a whole paper once for a comm theory class about online anonymity and how that makes it more likely that people will speak out about their true beliefs/thoughts - but I digress.)\r\n\r\nSocial media, like anything else online or in life, is as good as you make it or as bad as you make it. It''s not fool-proof and sure, it''s not perfect, but so few things in life are. Disregarding something (like social media) because of the <i>potential</i> for something bad also means you''re missing the potential for something good. Sometimes you just have to have a little faith, take the leap and keep your eyes wide open.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.4; en-US; rv:1.9.0.10) Gecko/2009042315 Firefox/3.0.10', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(3837, 375, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '24.12.200.216', '2009-06-19 14:08:09', '2009-06-19 18:08:09', 'mother shaffer, yes, you did say "red flag," not "deal breaker." That''s an important distinction!\r\n\r\nsuzigurl, it''s great to "meet" you, here and on Twitter! I''m looking forward to reading your breakfast tweets, and tweets about anything else that really matters to you.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.10) Gecko/2009042315 Firefox/3.0.10', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(3207, 362, 'Kristin T.', 'KTENNANT@GMAIL.COM', 'http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/', '216.43.98.214', '2009-05-26 23:46:09', '2009-05-27 03:46:09', 'Jessica, yes, there definitely can be love after divorce. (Have you checked out the book "Ask Me About My Divorce"? So many great stories in it.) Also, I completely agree about how important it is for my daughters to be at a school where they learn about sameness and difference along with geometry and spelling. I''m so glad your daughter is having that experience, too!\r\n\r\njenx67, the diversity is a blessing, and it''s a surprisingly significant part of my life here. I also worry, though, that describing these aspects of my life might come off as bragging—like my days are just overflowing with interesting food and friends. I can assure you that there''s also plenty of what you would expect in a small Midwestern town—chicken drumsticks and Miller Lite and regular, kind people—and I highly value and enjoy their place in the mix of my life, too. :)\r\n\r\nZoe, I''m so glad the one person I know who lives in Thailand responded! As someone who has lived in the states and in Thailand, do you think the draw to complexity in food reflects other attitudes and aspects of life, or am I completely making things up? (Btw, I sure wish I could taste something made by "your local!" Thai flavors are a close second, for me, to Indian.)', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.10) Gecko/2009042315 Firefox/3.0.10', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(3204, 362, 'Zoe', 'zoe@zoewesthof.com', 'http://www.essentialprose.com', '125.25.63.228', '2009-05-26 22:32:11', '2009-05-27 02:32:11', 'I love this -- how curry reflects life! I feel quite strongly about embracing the pleasures and discoveries of food -- whether that means enjoying a masaman curry or putting special care into your chicken soup. I''m a bit spoiled with complex flavors here in Thailand, but the funny thing is, my appreciation does not decrease! Every time I go to "our local" down the street, I can''t help but comment how unique and incredible the flavors are. I guess complexity is the sort of thing that never grows old :)', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10.5; en-US; rv:1.9.0.10) Gecko/2009042315 Firefox/3.0.10', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(3544, 373, 'Dave Thurston', 'dave@orangeshirtguy.com', 'http://www.orangeshirtguy.com', '24.223.179.4', '2009-06-10 23:30:23', '2009-06-11 03:30:23', 'Tomorrow will be one year anniversary of the four kids and me doing life mostly by ourselves.\r\n\r\nKnowledge: Knowing how to parent (being book smart)\r\nWisdom: Putting one set of five feet in front of the next set of five feet and persevering. (being street smart).\r\n\r\nI received knowledge on how to parent from my wife.  I received wisdom on how to parent from the last year.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Macintosh; U; Intel Mac OS X 10_5_7; en-us) AppleWebKit/530.17 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/4.0 Safari/530.17', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(3832, 375, 'suzigurl', 'pghgurl30@gmail.com', 'http://suziwackerbarth.wordpress.com', '216.183.185.87', '2009-06-19 13:36:20', '2009-06-19 17:36:20', 'LOVE your "anti-rules." I believe in the "what I had for breakfast" tweets too. I like knowing. \r\n\r\nxo,\r\nsuzigurl', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.8) Gecko/2009032609 Firefox/3.0.8', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(3833, 385, 'Meredith', 'meridethdabek@hotmail.com', 'http://www.ordinarymer.com', '155.33.197.219', '2009-06-19 13:39:26', '2009-06-19 17:39:26', 'I always disliked church growing up b/c I felt like my mom "made" me go. When I left home for college, I went to a Catholic university. At first I thought I''d never go to church again (no one could make me now that I was an adult, after all).\r\n\r\nBut the dorm I lived in provided a different experience. It was the smallest of all the freshmen dorms and was designed as a real community, with staff, professors and priests living among the students. Each week, on Wednesdays, the resident priest would say mass for whoever wanted to celebrate. We''d gather in a small room in the basement. It was informal - some people came in pajamas. But we all came with intent. \r\n\r\nReadings were shared and the homily was less a sermon and more of a discussion. I remember thinking that it reminded me of stories of the early Christians, banding together in secret in Rome when Christianity was still outlawed. Our small group was coming together, learning together in a way that felt like true fellowship. \r\n\r\nI''ve since drift far away from the Catholic Church for a variety of reasons, but whenever I visit a church or place of worship, I still think back to those Wednesday nights and hope to find a community like that again.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.9.0.11) Gecko/2009060215 Firefox/3.0.11', '', 0, 0, 'Y'),
(2728, 349, 'Trina', 'colour144@yahoo.com', '', '75.159.46.147', '2009-05-11 22:47:22', '2009-05-12 02:47:22', 'As a reader who comments, I do my very best to give my real reaction/thoughts to the topic at hand. If it is in disagreement to the topic, I take care to be constructive, hope my thoughts are clear, and cant be misconstrued. Hopefully my choice of words conveys what I really mean - that''s easier for some, I am not always so eloquent. If some one is irritated by what I have said hopefully it is not due to how I have said it. \r\nI have found it very interesting how comments stray from the the topic at hand, gving food for thought so to speak. It is part of IRL conversations. On line though, I find there''s times it would be nice to comment back and forth, but the usual pattern is that the moment has passed.\r\nAs for social media, new to that, really enjoying it. Like everything, there''s good and bad from it. I look for balance, and what is a right fit for me. No, I did not follow back the guy claimmming to be green and recycle unwanted adult toys..... still wondering why he follwed me... (it was random OK?) Oh crikey, now I am straying :-)\r\nWould like to add that I feel writing off anything as ''bad'' before giving it a chance and seeing what could be right just seems unreasonable.', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 6.0; en-GB; rv:1.9.0.10) Gecko/2009042316 Firefox/3.0.10 (.NET CLR 3.5.30729)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(5718, 462, 'Robin', 'sheldor@olivetschools.org', '', '24.56.209.49', '2009-09-02 19:39:37', '2009-09-02 23:39:37', 'What a sweet story.  It was such a great reminder to enjoy my own children while they are still young enough for the bath and cuddle routine, the curl up in my lap and read routine, etc.  Thank you!', 0, '1', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 7.0; Windows NT 6.0; SLCC1; .NET CLR 2.0.50727; .NET CLR 3.5.30729; .NET CLR 3.0.30618)', '', 0, 0, 'N'),
(7834, 562, 'ofigennoe', '7flely@gmail.com', 'http://7ly.ru/', '89.149.244.89', '2010-02-03 11:04:12', '2010-02-03 15:04:12', 'динамично вÑе Ñто и очень позитивно', 0, 'spam', 'Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.1; SV1)', '', 0, 0, 'N');
