<a href="http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/lovelist2.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-487" title="lovelist2" src="http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/lovelist2-538x403.jpg" alt="" width="513" height="385" /></a>
<h5 style="padding-left: 360px;">Illustration by Jason Berg</h5>
There have been many #lovelist highlights in the last week, and I'll include some of them at the end of this post. First, though, I want to talk about a particular love list that was shared on my blog, and some of the thoughts it unearthed in me.

The list moved me on multiple levels, because it is my mom's. Here's part of it (the full list is in the comments section of <a href="http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/?p=477">this post</a>):
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>Walks with our dog on a cool night with the moon coming in and out of the clouds and the crickets and tree frogs singing. I love figuring out how to fix a problem or brainstorming ideas. Cooking a delicious meal that someone enjoys. Walking thru a great yarn shop and dreaming of having time to knit again. Just watching and listening to our granddaughters interact, think, express love and to see their happiness. Teaching Sunday School classes and thinking of ways to do it well and watching the lights come on in my students. A good deep discussion. </em></p>
Watching anyone you love claim what <em>they</em> love is a pure joy, but my mom's selfless, giving spirit makes her love list even more meaningful for me. <strong>My mom is, without a doubt, the most tireless giver I know, both inside and outside of the home.</strong> As kids, my brother and I benefited in almost every possible way from having a mom like that. She always had time to listen to us, always found time to bake cookies and make delicious dinners, always pushed her own wants and needs aside to attend to ours.

<strong>You can't live this way without sacrifice, though, and I think my mom's love list points to just what she has so often given up in the process of caring for others.</strong> Sure, some of what she loves is wrapped up in loving others, and in those cases everyone wins. But much of her life, my mom has told me, has been driven by her desire to please others and do the things she thinks they want her to do, rather than the things she really wants to do.
<h4>Do you feel guilty when you claim what you love?</h4>
<strong>My own sense of guilt—particularly when I claim what I love and do something for myself—is an outgrowth of my mom's selflessness.</strong> I have often struggled with the feeling that I'll never be as good a mom as <em>my</em> mom, because I'm too selfish. Compared to my mom, at least.

But there's also truth to the saying "If mama isn't happy, nobody's happy." I get a lot of joy knowing my mom is taking back her life, and making time for the things she loves. It's important for me to recognize how this makes me feel, and to translate that to my own daughters' perceptions of me. Because just as I was really getting into this love list idea, I felt that characteristic twinge of guilt—that little voice saying <em>It's so selfish of you to spend so much energy focusing on what you love.</em> (Am I the only one who thinks like that?)

<strong>Seeing my mom's love list gave me good reason to squash that guilt monster. </strong>Not only is my mom better off for focusing on what she loves, everyone around her is, too. So claim what you love without guilt.
<h4>A #lovelist update:</h4>
<strong>- Four bloggers I know wrote great posts about the Love List Project:</strong> Lesley at <a href="http://barefooton45th.com/?p=670">Barefoot on 45th</a>, Jules at <a href="http://mojojules.wordpress.com/2009/09/27/starting-the-lovelist/">The Wonderer</a>, Katie at <a href="http://salvagedfaith.blogspot.com/2009/09/love-list.html">Salvaged Faith</a>, and Lance at <a href="http://www.jungleoflife.com/2009/09/29/what-is-love-really/">The Jungle of Life</a>. I've loved reading their thoughts and seeing some of their readers end up here! (If you plan to write a post on your blog and link here, let me know if you'd like me to email the graphic.)

<strong>- Here are a few of my #lovelist additions from the past week:</strong> <span class="status-body"><span id="msgtxt4399612577" class="msgtxt en">walking to the farmers' market is such a great expression of being part of a community, from seeing people I know to buying local; </span></span><span class="status-body"><span id="msgtxt4470187361" class="msgtxt en">I love walking my youngest daughter to school, esp on crisp morns. halfway up the block she always slips her warm hand into mine; </span></span><span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">I love having in-laws I can truly be myself around, who love and accept me for who I am; </span></span><span class="status-body"><span id="msgtxt4527020515" class="msgtxt en">I love creating a safe space—a friendship, blog, dining room table—where others can open up.</span></span>

- The <a href="http://twitter.com/#search?q=%23lovelist">#lovelist hashtag on Twitter</a> is attracting new people and contributions by the day—in fact, about 100 in the past week! It's so inspiring. <strong>Here's a sampling of your #lovelist additions:</strong>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><span class="status-body"><span id="msgtxt4419352012" class="msgtxt en">- The sense of satisfaction you get when you dive into a book discussion with others who are just as passionate as you. </span></span><em>@McMer314</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><span class="status-body"><span id="msgtxt4441406513" class="msgtxt en">- I think I relate to fall spiritually firey colors, a time of harvest and gatherings. These make my soul leap. </span></span><em>@MoJoJules</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><span class="status-body"><span id="msgtxt4473199510" class="msgtxt en">- I love relationships where you feel safe enough to say whatever is on your mind or not say anything at all. </span></span><em>@lizdyer</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><span class="status-body"><span id="msgtxt4426149837" class="msgtxt en">- I love moments in life like when u pull cheese out &amp; it appears moldy &amp; disgusting, but upon inspection is Stilton and delicious! </span></span><em>@scheidel</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><span class="status-body"><span id="msgtxt4475835084" class="msgtxt en">- I love knowing my coffee house is run by one of the most descent, goodhearted people I know. Makes my coffee taste even better. </span></span><em>@delightedscribb</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><span class="status-body"><span id="msgtxt4480372534" class="msgtxt en">- I love laughing so hard with a close friend that I cry. </span></span><em>@workhappynow </em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><span class="status-body"><span id="msgtxt4488363575" class="msgtxt en">- I love watching someone's face when they light up to talk about something they are both expert in and passionate about. </span></span><em>@thekla_richter </em></p>