<a href="http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/party.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-203" title="party" src="http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/party.jpg" alt="" width="454" height="341" /></a>

Sometimes the best party is the unplanned sort.

That's the kind of party we ended up having on New Year's Eve, when our modest collection of people and activities morphed into true party proportions.

The visit from my parents was planned, as was the arrival of my sister-in-law and our nephew. But everything else about the evening took on a life of its own, in the best sort of way.

It turned out that a variety of friends were around with nothing really planned, so we gladly absorbed them into our food and fun. Everyone brought snacky foods, and we ended up with quite a nice spread. We had plenty of vodka for mixed drinks, and eventually sent someone out to buy beer, for the non-cocktail types.

The adults were content to meander through a variety of conversation topics, taking turns playing bar tender, disc jockey, and holding our friends' ultra-mellow baby. The eight kids played Wii, took goofy photos of each other, and created puppets and put on a puppet show. All of their activities were punctuated by regular pit stops in the dining room for snacks.
<h4>Fewer expectations bring more good times</h4>
From the host's perspective, I think I've put my finger on what's so nice about a party that just happens rather than the kind that is planned: You let yourself off the hook. There are no expectations, so no guilt. You don't try to think through every last detail, and then kick yourself for forgetting something. You don't concoct the perfect mix of guests and then feel responsible for orchestrating the conversations and activities. Although I'm sure there are other people we could have invited over, had we realized we were having a real party, we just couldn't spend time dwelling on that, or feeling bad.

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It just happened the way it happened, allowing everyone to accept it for what it was, and to simply be glad that we were bringing in the new year together, not alone.

In light of my previous post, <a href="http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/?p=200">Striving to be less intentional in 2009</a>, I'm thinking this non-party party was my first unintentional act of 2009 (even though the party technically started in 2008). <strong>Thanks to some great comments shared by readers, I've been reflecting even more on this idea of being less intentional.</strong> Here are a few follow up thoughts I've had:
<ul>
	<li>In her comment on my previous post, Barb Chamberlain brought up "serendipity," which she says she likes to think of as “the things that happen to those who pay attention.â€ The word "serendipity" has always made me giggle, but the sentiment—and Barb's definition—is exactly what I had in mind as I was writing that post. Another reader, Jodi, mentioned "being open" in her comment. <strong>Together, being open and paying attention perfectly describe what I want more of for myself this year.</strong> I believe there’s something bigger going on around me, and that my instincts or the nudgings of God’s spirit (or whatever you want to call this phenomenon) are usually more spot-on than my logic and intellect.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
	<li>Another reader, blackwasp19, brought the word "contrived" into the conversation: "There is a thin-line, but important distinction, between intentional and contrived," he wrote. Exactly. Contrived is what I get when I try too hard to reach a specific outcome. It doesn't matter whether I'm planning an ideal party, seeking followers on Twitter, writing a blog post, or finding the perfect house to buy or church to attend, the outcome is the same: <strong>when I try too hard to make something happen the way I think it should happen, the results leave me frustrated and disappointed.</strong></li>
</ul>
<ul>
	<li>Finally, I think <strong>most of life is about finding balance, which requires knowing yourself.</strong> I know that I personally spend too much time trying to orchestrate and plan things, which not only prevents me from going with the flow and experiencing surprises, it also sets me up for disappointment and self-criticism when things don't pan out. That's just me. I'm sure, though, that there are people out there who could stand to be a bit <em>more</em> focused on planning and details in 2009.</li>
</ul>
I know I've been saying I'm going to be less intentional, but I <em>am</em> going to be more intentional, when it gets down to it—about opening up and letting go. I think we can all strive for balance by doing more of the things that maybe don't come as naturally to us.