Kristin-

I'm so sorry to learn about your grandma! I know that this loss will leave a hole in your life and in your family's life. Please pass on my thoughts and prayers to your mom and dad as it will undoubtably take me a few weeks to get a card/letter together.

Children have such an amazing capacity for dealing with life and death. Your words to Q and S will help them to understand how confusing grief can be and that there are many ways of experiencing it. But, children also seem to have less of a hold on life (maybe because they've been alive for a shorter time) and can experience the loss more matter-of-factly. 

My daughter A is only turning 6 but has experienced 3 family deaths - one tragic and two expected/"natural" and the death of a cat. She often talks of life and death and what happens when someone dies, and I do the best I can, with my own unformed beliefs, answering her questions. It's been interesting to watch how she processes and re-processes these losses each year as her understanding of life grows. A rarely talks about losing her Grandpa Tom (Dec. 2008), but when my mom visits, A will talk to her about whether she misses him and is lonely. I think my mom actually gets great comfort from these discussions; Q and S can provide that for you and your mom, too!

All my best to you and your family!