Keren, thanks for sharing part of your story. I'm so, so sorry you've had to live through this nightmare, and that the aftershocks are still reverberating in your life. As a Christian, perhaps nothing makes me more angry than Christians using their religion as an excuse to treat others unjustly, void of the love or compassion that Jesus modeled every day. When those Christians are your family and friends, it's horrific. 

I do hope that you'll get a chance to read my essay after the "Ask Me About My Divorce" book is published in June. It tells about my own anger toward God, church, and many Christians during that time. It also tells how I thought I was done with God and with the institution of marriage for good, but I eventually found myself embracing both again, in completely new ways. 

I realize, from experience, that no one can convince you of anything—and certainly not me, whom you've never met. You have to work through it all in your own time and your own way. I do want to say, though, that your parents' expression of Christianity does not sound like it's based on how Jesus treated and loved people. I hope you will not let them define your understanding of the faith forever.