growing definition family christmas brother grandparents michigan early adulthood hard imagine married started spending christmas un-christmasy florida husband's family eventually brother moved portland began spending christmases children started christmas perspective parent child girls years divorced defined nuclear family changed heart-wrenching ways wrote side sadness cheer husband family incorporate holiday celebrations words life christmas ideas tradition normalcy family jason made phone calls people love thought family defines family definition share portrait family christmas johns michigan parents woke house children grandchildren drove nursing home visit -year-old grandma leave pick -year-old grandma bring back house time called merry christmas childhood friend rhonda husband kids arriving spend family rhonda's parents died years month true relative aunt georgia died rhonda's kids call parents grandma grandpa bill created family enjoying food conversation christmas portland oregon shoveling portland's biggest snowfall years brother bill drove town spend christmas girlfriend brother relationship girlfriend months enjoys family history called christmas evening miles heading wintry walk jason nephew bill discovered eaten beef roast christmas dinner kids served greenville south carolina miles daughters playing cousins aunt uncle's house called christmas breakfast stockings grandparents cousins surprised driving florida thought family family pre-divorce struggled connect reality mine hearing voices bundles personality affection delivered phone lines made happy person moment chicago illinois jason spent sister nephew uncle stepdaughter celebrated christmas family house visited emergency room diagnosed scarlet fever meant spend afternoon evening planned father-in-law remission leukemia risky phone updates rested home grandparents mom's partner baby drew close made phone call jason's brother answer phone shouted christmas greeting voicemail connect feeling inadequacy thought day's phone calls family defines fashion needed parents celebrating warmth connection adopted children grandchildren brother spending people eating christmas dinner similar mine girls creating memories people important longer part life sets grandparents moms brother related blood she's born missing biological family children parents brother grateful jason sister wanted parents make feel comfortable loved christmas ideal painted clear picture blessed imperfect world family forms fill voids ways 