Sarah, I completely get what you're saying, and I agree! I'm pretty sure if we had pushed our daughter too hard to participate more in class, it would have had the opposite effect. I'm just glad that in my love and acceptance of her I didn't do anything to convince her that she's "just a intellectually reserved person." It could have been a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Meredith, this whole experience with my daughter made me not only think of my own childhood, but I also began to wonder how often I resign myself as an adult to certain traits and fates. Just being aware of the possibility helps, I think, and you were able to take it several steps further and "retrain" yourself in specific ways. The fact that your mother is willing to tell you stories about her own patterns of growth makes a big difference, too. 

Trina, yes, it's a wrestling match, isn't it? At least if you're wrestling, it's a good sign that you understand the need for balance, and that it entails a struggle. As you know, I'm a fan of instincts—they will also come in handy when it comes to letting go, I suspect. :)