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<h5 style="padding-left: 270px;">Photo by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/people/betsssssy/">Betsssssy</a></h5>
<strong>When you think of the word "useful," what comes to mind?</strong>

For me it's things like garlic presses and hot pads. A Kitchen-Aid mixer would be useful, if I had one. My bike basket is really useful when I bike to the library or farmers' market. The assembly instructions that come in the box with your new IKEA furniture definitely come in handy.

<strong>What doesn't spring to mind for me, when I think of the word "useful," are people, relationships, conversations and stories.</strong> Technically, you could say a conversation or a person is useful, but I think I'd probably say they're smart or wise, helpful or informative before I'd say useful.

Another thing that's not useful? My blog. (You've been warned.) You can imagine my dismay when I read the number one point on this post, which someone on Twitter linked to it (I can't recall who it was—sorry!).

<a href="http://writetodone.com/2008/11/12/10-mistakes-that-could-be-killing-your-blog/">10 Mistakes that Could Be Killing Your Blog</a>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>Today, I’ll walk you through some common mistakes many blogs make that turn off new readers (and even regular readers oftentimes) … mistakes that could be killing your blog.</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em><strong>1. Less-than-useful posts</strong>. When I’m exploring new blogs, most of the time I’m looking for certain information — interesting new workouts, yummy recipes, good running advice, frugality ideas, inspiration to improve my life, and so on. You want useful posts — that’s why you’re there. Sure, some times a blogger is just such an interesting writer that you’ll read posts even if they’re not that useful. Some of my favorite bloggers are more interesting or funny than anything else. But most of the time, you’re looking for useful stuff. And when you go to a blog and scan the front page and can’t find one single useful post, you’re outta there. </em></p>
Umm...I think it might be time to start planning my blog's funeral. I wonder—will anyone come?
<h4>Getting worked up about this "one way to do things" approach to social media</h4>
Actually, this whole concept sets me off, ranting and carrying on (just ask my husband). <strong>Who decides that a blog has to be useful to survive?</strong> The King and Court of Bloggingland? Trust me, the guy who wrote that post isn't alone in his stance. It's a very common one. There are hundreds of posts and articles out there giving you The Formula for making money with your blog, attracting a huge following, being popular on Twitter—you name it.

<strong>It doesn't just bother me that "experts" out there are telling people their blog posts have to be useful. I want to know who defines what's useful to the general population? </strong>I can broaden my definition of "useful," beyond the garlic press and the IKEA instructions, and apply it to blog posts. But when I do, I personally don't come up with only posts on weight loss tips and home improvement ideas.

I think a "useful" post can be one that makes me remember something I've forgotten about myself. It can be one that makes me laugh on a difficult day, or makes me think about a complex topic in a completely new way. It can just be a really great story—when doesn't some great storytelling feed the soul? And when isn't having your soul fed worth it?
<h4>At least 2 out of every 10 bloggers say soul-stirring is useful</h4>
Earlier this week I wrote a story about my daughter's ninth birthday: <a href="http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/?p=313">The fine art of not making memories. </a>The same day I posted, I also saw this tweet:
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>@bambooforest: <span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">With limited time and enthusiasm, I've learned that there are only a few blogs that I ensure I read every post of. The ones that help most.</span></span></em></p>
He's a good guy, but I was feeling extra sensitive about my blog, going through the whole "why am I doing this, who really cares" cycle. So I replied:
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>@kt_writes: how do you define "help most?"</em></p>
Another friend jumped in with a re-tweet and a question, then he and I had this exchange:
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>@writerdad RT @kt_writes: @bambooforest<span class="status-body">: <span class="entry-content">how do you define "help most?" Me 2 Bamboo. What about sheer pleasure or entertainment? Do they make the cut?</span></span></em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em><span class="status-body"><span class="entry-content">@kt_writes to @writerdad: how did you know that's what I was really asking? :) did you read the "non-useful blogs die" article? define useful too, please.</span></span></em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em><span class="status-body">@writerdad to @kt_writes:<strong> </strong><span class="entry-content">To me a blog is useful if it stirs me. I don't need endless lists and tips. I want soul.</span></span></em></p>
@writerdad said he really liked my post about S's birthday, and said he was glad I didn't write a post that shared tips on how to make memories. I joked that I could have written a "Ten Steps to Making More Memorable Memories" post: Step 1: Fully charge your camera battery; Step 2: View most of the event through the camera's lens, stopping everyone frequently to get them to pose for a great shot....(you get the idea).

Anyway, I'm not feeling quite so frustrated, anymore. I'm feeling really grateful to people like @writerdad, who tells wonderful, "non-useful" stories on <a href="http://writerdad.com/">his blog</a>. I'm grateful for people like @modite, who's brave enough to challenge the "big guys" on <a href="http://modite.com/blog/2009/03/30/stop-writing-about-social-media-to-be-a-successful-blogger/">her blog</a>, and @JebDickerson, who is willing to rant against the established system on <a href="http://www.howtomatter.com/2009/03/30/the-twitter-life-suck/">his blog</a>,  and who says he's ultimately seeking a community of people who are thoughtful and searching.

<strong>And I'm very very grateful for all of my readers. Not because you're adding to my numbers and statistics, but because you clearly are here as individuals, for your own individual reasons.</strong>

I'm pretty sure you don't read my blog in hopes that I'll help you get rich or lose weight or become a famous writer. You show up here, I suspect, because I have stories to tell—because life is messy and complicated, and a blog is a great format for sorting it out together.