Robin, you sound like the very best sort of teacher! But you're absolutely right—life usually isn't so clear cut. When we're standing on point a, it's often not even clear what point b IS, let alone how to get there. I guess that's why it's important to keep checking in with ourselves and asking the right questions as we move forward.

Meredith, there is clearly some wireless connection running between our brains. :) I can really relate to this: "...so often, I find I’m the only one who cares about my shoulds and usuallys, that the guilt is all in my head."

Joy, kids sure add another dimension to this whole concept, don't they? Traditions are so important to them, but it's also important to make sure they're open to change, whether it's deliberate or last-minute and out of your control. It sounds like you've found a good balance (and that you've got a handle on the "shoulds," too).