<img src="http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/wp-content/images/3418857871_9503304e81.jpg" alt="" />
<h5 style="padding-left: 330px;">Photo by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/people/3059349393/">Emilio Labrador</a></h5>
<strong>It's been five whole years since I was a part of a church that extended more judgment than love.</strong>

The judgment showed up during and after my divorce. It sort of took me by surprise (the judgment, not the divorce). I numbly coped with it for another year or so before coming to my senses and walking away from that church.

Since then, <strong>divorce and church have become two topics I write about fairly often, both separately and as a intertwined, tangled mess</strong> (as in my essay in <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Ask-Me-About-My-Divorce/dp/1580052762">Ask Me About My Divorce</a>). Being able to write about those two things is a good sign that I've pretty much healed from that pain, thanks to my new church and God's redemptive grace. My new church has a "loving you for who you are, where you are" attitude. It's where I met Jason, who was also divorced. Strangely enough, it's also where I met his ex-wife, who became my friend.
<h4>Two realities, both needing to be checked</h4>
When you're enfolded in a community like that, it's easy to forget what happens every day in many other churches, among many other Christians. Maybe that's why<strong> I sometimes get confused and wonder if church-and-divorce is still an important topic to be writing about.</strong> Maybe my experience was isolated. Do most churches and Christians still have big issues with divorce? Really?

But then I hear or read something that brings me back to reality, like <a href="http://www.patrolmag.com/arts/1976/matthew-paul-turner-hear-no-evil">this excerpt</a> from the book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Hear-No-Evil-Story-Innocence/dp/140007472X">Hear No Evil</a>, by <a href="http://jesusneedsnewpr.blogspot.com/">Matthew Paul Turner</a>. The subtitle alone produced a visceral response: "When the publisher of CCM forced me to force Amy Grant to apologize for her divorce."
<h4>Good news covers bad news</h4>
The story was painful for me to read. But it's also full of good news. Amy Grant doesn't apologize "for disobeying God's command to stay married," as Turner's boss puts it. Turner describes that tense moment of the interview, after he brought up the topic of divorce:
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em> ...it was obvious she wasn’t beyond feeling sorrowful about her divorce. But..she clearly had found redemption for the decision, and she held onto it. My question couldn’t steal that away from her.</em></p>
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<p class="MsoNormal"><strong>The good news is that when you have God's redeeming love, other people can't steal it away.</strong> In fact, that love seems to have a way of multiplying. Later, Turner was in the studio listening to Amy Grant sing and her producer, Brown Bannister, said, "I have to get right with God nearly every time I hear that girl sing.â€</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">What more do you need to know? God's love for this divorced Christian singer seems evident.</p>

<h4>Focus on the fruit</h4>
<p class="MsoNormal">Sure, there's always going to be bad news, too. Lots of churches and church people want to spread the guilt more than the love. Sometimes they focus on shame and apologies, while turning their backs on many people who are really hurting (and not because Amy Grant got a divorce).</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But the good news is bigger than the bad: Apparently Amy Grant doesn't have to apologize for God to do amazing things through her, or through any of us. <strong>Perhaps that's all the proof that we need to know the church doesn't always do the best job figuring out what God really wants.</strong></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they? So every good trees bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit.</em> - Matthew 7:16-18</p>
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