Katie Z., I have so been enjoying your comments and perspective.  I truly love the phrase you just used--"covenantal relationship."  That really resonates with me, with the vision I have of a loving relationship, the kind any just and good God would want his people to have.  In my opinion, there is no miraculous transformation that the marriage ceremony casts over a couple that makes their covenant good and holy in itself.  They must find the love and respect deep within themselves to honor one another, long before they can call it a beautiful union sanctioned by God.  This "covenantal state" is what I hope my one-day children can have, is what I hope for every couple, truly.  And kudos to Dee, for adding such a clearly well-informed, and richly-painted dimension to all this! 

In response to a part of this debate which I see is fruitless ( :D ), and for anyone who might be wondering where this former-Christian is coming from , I don't rely on the Bible for my "evidence," as many of you do, but I also do not rely on "the masses" or "the mainstream"--I think for myself.  I, too, form opinions based on personal conviction, and what I see as the reality around me.  We may see different realities, different stories.  I can, and do, however, respect the Biblical perspective that many of you use, and hope that the religious among you can respect my perspective as well, without choosing to assume the worst of me.  It seems that most of you do, which impresses me and gives me great hope! 

This is such a great thread.  Kristin, I wish I could get people this fired up about Miso-Crusted Eggplant, but for some reason it hasn't worked that way so far, LOL!