TJ, I've been trying to keep my posts shorter (which is really hard for me), and I knew I would inevitably be leaving out many important details on this big topic. I think your questions are worth another post, but I'll try to respond at least briefly now. Essentially, I worry that church has become, for many, an empty tradition adhered to once a week out of habit or pretense or maybe fear. I am advocating for churches where people are being real—struggling where they are, striving to be something more, and meeting God in those places. I think that requires a lot of prayer and Bible study and discussion (and I say this fully willing to admit how far I have to go in these areas). I was really inspired to study the Bible more after reading Rob Bell's book "Velvet Elvis" a couple of years ago; if you've read it, then you'll have a good sense of where I stand. I also think Christians need to focus more on justice and mercy and compassion—with one another and in their broader communities, and the world. These are the things that seem to have been lost, in many ways, and people today don't have time for empty traditions. I am not advocating a laid back, "it's all good" approach to church and faith. 

Paul, I agree with much of what you're saying. The churches that I've been a part of that have really challenged me personally to grow have in the broader sense been vibrant communities, full of fruit. I think the potential problem lies with HOW the church goes about "requiring something of their members." Do they use disciplinary tactics, like withholding communion? Or do they work with people in love and compassion, through discipleship and prayer? I've been on the receiving end of both approaches, at two different churches, and each approach was not only reflected in my relationship with God, but also in the broader community.

Jennifer, thank you for sharing your feelings about this issue, and how you struggle with them in your own life. Yeah, I guess it is interesting that I tied my divorce experience to this issue. I'm sure there is so deep, subconscious-level tie there. On the surface, I was just thinking about pain and pruning making way for something new and beautiful, and that always makes me think of my divorce and the few years after it. There are enormous aspects of God's love that I never really understood until I went through this life experience. I guess that's why Jesus told so many stories to get his message across.

Katey, that saddens me, too. I certainly don't expect Christians to be perfect, but I do expect them to be striving toward something more. When they use their churched status as a crutch or get-out-of-jail-free-card, I shift from sadness to anger.

Brent, you said what I was trying to say, perfectly. Your story just builds on the one I was telling, creating a clearer picture. Beautiful. Thank you.

Marty, that's a fascinating, powerful article. Thanks for sharing the link. There are at least a dozen more posts to be written from the points made in the article. (Will my work here ever be done?) Anyway, you so nailed the fear factor. We're grownups now, aren't we? Our responsibility is both daunting and exciting (again, that's how I felt when I read "Velvet Elvis," because Rob Bell tells us we need to study the Bible and figure out what it means, not just regurgitate what our 70 year-old Sunday School teacher taught us 30 years ago). And your final statement, about "church responsibilities," is SO true. So what should we do about it?