week ex-husband parent-teacher conferences sixth-grader years hearing teachers describe child pretty expect she's bright kind helpful respectful at-school version quite evidence home middle school conference surprised comment made teachers self-assured actively engaged class freely offers answers ideas questions emerging academic leader surprised elementary school single complaint teachers raising hand speaking lunchroom playground unsure class teachers knew discussion learning find interesting quick years back accept socially outgoing unwilling spotlight performing classroom stage occur sixth grade teachers class participation assumed knew answer offered information favorite things class stunned total acceptance lock here's tricky parenting balance demonstrate kids accept love people years heard parents telling told words process love careful affirmation stifle process unconditionally loving unaffectionate child stories toddler disposition warm trusting affectionate found adults highly suspicious instantly wanted lift balked responded told people grandmother visiting california give space warm ready young developed reputation standoffish baby noticed tendencies quick explain cuddly affectionate baby sister born began change watched baby sister sitting laps snuggling rocked things enjoyed years life decided gonna person thought hard-wired changed eyes years stuck turns internally starving type physical affection assumed style misconception played complicated ways marriage years marriage physical closeness super glue accepting carve stone here's thinking good accepting kids spouses change acceptance penciled written carved stone carve personality trait stone leave room possibilities enabling device easy make excuses you've impacted controlling accepting written character permanent falling pattern 