Violet, I've also been amazed at how much I've learned to value my time alone, while still acknowledging my needs as an extrovert. Not only did I learn a lot about being alone after my divorce, but as a freelancer I spend a good portion of each work day alone (or maybe in a space with others, but working alone). Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I really identify with your feelings, from often wearing your aloneness like a gold star to recognizing those undeniably lonely moments. Thanks for your honesty with all of those feelings.

Mike, I'm so glad you stumbled upon my blog! It's good to meet you. It sounds like I'm not alone in the many valuable lessons I've learned as a result of going through divorce. I think embracing and sharing what we've learned, though, is one of the best ways to redeem something unhappy like the end of a marriage. Thanks for sharing some of that with us. 

Meredith, I can imagine there's a great loneliness there, no matter how much love you get from friends and family. It's very complicated, perhaps because we want to rationalize how we feel, but when it gets down to it, loneliness is just something we feel or don't. We can't really talk ourselves out of it, even if it doesn't seem to "make sense." Let us know if/when you write a post on the topic. I'll look forward to it!

Angie, you would almost think I timed this post to coincide with the anniversary of your split with your ex-husband. You clearly get, on a very personal level, what I'm talking about here. I'm so glad we could both emerge from life's messes empowered (there's that word again—last time!) rather than beaten down.