photo ryan night celebrated christmas girls cried happen quite opened presents scrumptious lasagna dinner played girls snuggled sleeping bags sleep tree jason snuck downstairs play eventually turned lights cried girls christmas year year christmas survived mother children they'll full week fact south carolina harder easier divorce surprisingly makes mess things nice perks friends lucky jason regular built childcare ex-spouses friends jokes wife figure ex-spouse regularly send kids bitter sweet hand hand divorce joking means week jason kid-free days cook expensive food time herding kids stairs pajamas brush teeth dinner calculate cost meal sitter's drive chicago spend weekend hear bands eating burritos general refuel strengthen bond couple lucky built-in time make happen kids happy safe people love side coin choose girls miss important moments fairly plain miss general peek they're sleeping smoothing hair kissing cheeks favorite nighttime rituals nights girls beds flaunt emptiness lacking day's final glimpse warm fuzzy jammies hugged stuffed animals peaceful sweet expressions christmas children christmas children worth celebrating worth celebrating forced pause approach aspect life living divided existence wanted children ignore change deal wise loving face learn grow feel thing learn sadness compassion helps tune missing love holidays love taste emptiness accompany person's heart time year lines missing girls christmas makes grateful mother birthed amazing children time experienced incorporating stepdaughter family endured difficult marriage survived divorce emerged side ways experience daughters jason life taking mess making good finally pragmatic philosophical sadness important lesson learned desperate find sweetness pair bitter sadness understand god's love redemption relation messes mistakes redemption kind word makes lots people squirm sounds old-school high-churchy bloody sacrificial downright unpleasant divorce turning ultimate return fond word real salience life learning redeemed magically recovering walking messes make clean slate shiny perfect redemption gathering pile mess offering beautiful thing made wreckage crafting delicious meal assortment find fridge creating beautiful work objects found dump recycling embracing throw light tools fashion stunning christmas fully suppose sadness involved 