Cheryl, thank you for your honesty, too. I know you are going through a really difficult time of confusion and indecision. I don't know if this is a comfort at all, but I really don't believe there is one "perfect" path for you to find and choose. There's hard work and heartache and hope down every possible path—and also God's redeeming love. Try resting in that peace for a while, since you're feeling overwhelmed, and see where it takes you.