Betty, I really LOVE the way you put this: "This is the message I want to give my kids: Jesus has no use for perfect people." I'm going to use that with my kids, if you don't mind. :) 

I have to admit, though, that while I think I ultimately agree with what you're saying, some of the ways you word it make me squirm. (And I don't think squirming is a bad thing, btw!) For instance, calling extramarital sex "a sin, which is worthy of shame" is not necessarily a false statement, but I think it has the potential of being very misleading, mostly because of your use of the word "shame," not your use of "sin." (Someone could write a dissertation on this alone, I'm sure!)

In general, I'm not saying we should be avoiding talking about and recognizing sin. I just really wish Christians would focus on a more broad array of both obvious and subtle sins, and look at how they are interwoven and how they play out in our lives in all different ways. 

For instance, I wish people would talk about ALL of the ways we sin against each other/hurt one another in ALL relationships—married and unmarried. Sex gets too much attention, and as a result many other important issues are ignored. Similarly, marriage is treated like a magic wand erasing sin—it's as if once you're married, everything is fine, at least in regards to your sex life. The reality is that a lot of sin, sexual and otherwise, happens within a lot of marriages. It's time for the married people to stop focusing on the speck in the eyes of the unmarried. 

I also don't fully agree with what you said about guilt: "...which leads me to believe that it is not Churches which instill this feeling in us, or parents, or other Christians." I do think you're right in saying many truths are written clearly on our hearts, but I think churches and Christians do play a really harmful role in demonizing and elevating feelings of guilt, particularly in certain areas like sexuality. I guess what I'm saying is that I don't think the way Christians often experience guilt is the way God actually wants us to.

OK, now I'm thinking I need to just turn this into a follow up post! :) I want to wrap up my comment, though, by letting you know how much I love being challenged to think and dialogue more about this. I really appreciate your comment, and your very real perspective and voice, and I'm so glad you found my blog.