<a href="http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/147572526_d88b85bea0.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-153" title="147572526_d88b85bea0" src="http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/147572526_d88b85bea0-300x199.jpg" alt="" width="377" height="250" /></a>
<h5 style="padding-left: 240px;">Photo by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/people/thomaspurves/">Tom Purves</a></h5>
People blog for every reason under the sun and about every topic imaginable. Some bloggers believe firmly that "true blogs" consist of short daily posts in a specific format, while others blog in whatever way fits their style and subject matter.

<strong>But there is one thing I think all bloggers can agree on: their deep, abiding love for reader comments.</strong>

Sure, a big part of that love rises out of the insecurities that erupt as soon as we finish a new post and hit "publish."   We desire some affirmation that's bigger than our fears, to overshadow them. We need to know that the many thoughts and ideas we're regularly bundling up and sending out into the world aren't just swirling around aimlessly in the abyss.

<strong>I can honestly say, though, that I love the opportunity for dialogue—the back and forth, the pushing and pulling and questioning—even more than I love the sweet affirmation.</strong>

The topics I like to write about can only be turned over in my own mind so many times, before they begin to lose meaning rather than gain it through the close examination. I talk to Jason, and to anyone in my "live community" who's willing to engage, but I still crave more dialogue as a means to more understanding.
<h3>Dialogue vs. conversation</h3>
While many people think of "dialogue" as synonymous with "conversation," the Austrian-Israeli-Jewish philosopher <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Buber">Martin Buber</a> understood the two as very different. Dialogue, he said, is an  effective means of on-going communication, while conversation involves a more direct attempt to reach some conclusion or to express particular viewpoints.

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As more people discover my blog and leave comments, I'm really beginning to get a taste of the beauty of on-going, open-ended communication. My recent post <a href="http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/?p=143">Politics, religion and sex</a> really got people talking more than any post I've written to date, both here at Halfway to Normal and at <a href="http://www.jesusmanifesto.com/2008/11/11/politics-religion-and-sex/">Jesus Manifesto</a>, where the piece was also published. I have to admit, it's been exciting—even if the dozen or so comments don't begin to compare in number to the 50-plus some bloggers get on every post. (I've always been a quality-over-quantity kind of girl, anyway.)
<h3>Shining spots of light on shadowy issues</h3>
Although you can certainly go back and read all the comments on both sites, I want to highlight some excerpts here, as a demonstration and celebration of thoughtful, engaging comments. (I'd like to republish them all, but I realize that doesn't make much sense.)

But just look at what's here, in this little taste: A sharing of a personal experience, an affirmation of someone else's comment, an thought about parenting, a book recommendation, some shared wisdom, and a stab at better defining the problem. Pretty darn exciting, if you ask me.

<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>It seems to me that mystifying and spiritualizing sex can make it harder to accept and understand what is happening when I do become involved in sexual activity, which then makes it even harder to understand how I want to act (or not act) during the experience, and also how I understand my feelings afterwards. ... I think what Brandon said about bringing up Christians in the way of reconciliation and patient other-mindedness could be huge. Living in community now challenges me in that daily, and I feel like I really am getting better at living with people, and learning to make reconciliation more important than my own "rights" or desires.</em>
<strong>SarahLynne</strong> (on Jesus Manifesto)</p>

<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>I think we wait too long to engage our children in the conversation about sex and then we vomit all the technical aspects on them at once, and freak our children out about IT. Instead we should be using teachable moments through out their lives.</em>
<strong> Randy Olson</strong> (on Jesus Manifesto)</p>

<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>I highly recommend the book </em>Growing Strong Daughters <em>(2nd ed.) by Lisa Graham McMinn, a prof of sociology and mother of 3 daughters. ... She, too, talks about how the focus No No No before marriage can lead to many women having difficulty saying Yes Yes Yes after marriage. About how all the things many churches teach lead to the idea that sexual sins are the worst sins ever, and that sex carries a tint of shame no matter what.</em>
<strong> Natalie Hart</strong> (on Halfway to Normal)</p>

<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>...people/teens usually do not live our values if we are left to work them out individualistically. Living what we believe to be best works far better when there are supported pathways, supported integrity, supported choices, supported openness, etc.</em>
<strong>Ron S.</strong> (on Halfway to Normal)</p>

<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>It seems to me that the Purity movement is a form of fundamentalist reaction to our lack of community in fragmented postmodern America. It is an attempt to impose the restraints that would exist naturally in a village or a tight ethnic community. As such it tends to come off as bright &amp; shiny evangelical fascism. ... The problem I have with most of the debate about sexuality in this country is that it's simplistic. I'm sorry, but sex is complicated. It's not a problem to be solved by imposing vows of chastity on prepubescent girls or passing ballot measures against gay marriage. (That's a whole different can of worms.)</em>
<strong> Joseph of Antioch</strong> (on Jesus Manifesto and Halfway to Normal)</p>
A whole different can of worms, indeed. And how exciting that we can all open it together, creating not just a conversation, but a true ongoing dialogue in the tradition of Martin Buber. <strong>After all, it's not about reaching a conclusion; it's about inviting others to shine spots of light on the shadowy pieces of issues—the ones we might never have examined, or perhaps even noticed, on our own.</strong>