Kristin -

Your description of a warm, welcoming and loving church family is inspiring and sweet. It's also nice to know that you and your husband respect your roles (and those of your daughters) in your extended family and that you are able to kindly and respectfully fit together as supporting cast. Bless you all for your efforts. 

I grew up in a church family that I often miss on an elemental level. However, as I grew older and began to form a more liberal mindset I began to wonder how many of my church "family" would welcome me had I wanted to marry a woman, have an abortion, have an interracial relationship, etc. I sought more "Christ-like" people and avoided piousness and hypocrisy and built my own extended "family" of friends and supporters to replace what was once an important (if guilt-driven) part of my life.

It's wonderful that you are able to have both of those aspects and find a balance that suits you and your family. 

Your story also draws to mind my dad - who married a lady with three teen-agers in the early 90's and found himself enjoying a warm friendship with their father - eventually liking his second wife's ex more than his wife. My dad eventually coined the phrase "you don't divorce children" and to his dying day referred to his (former) wife's ex as his "husband-in-law". He also chose to coin my (then 5-year-old) son's phrase in referring to his divorce - and would refer to himself as "dis-married." Kids are wise - let your girls call the new baby what they want - "kin" "kith" "quarter brother" whatever works! As long as you're all happy and celebrating - why not share the joy? :)