Jennifer, your description of what your sister is going through rings SO true. Small successes followed by frustrating setbacks, surges of hope followed by days in a row of despair. She is blessed to have a loving, listening, praying sister like you.

Jason, my guess is that your awareness and acceptance of how your parents' divorce has affected you (and still does) plays a huge part in your own well-being and your own family today. I know, though, that doesn't make it any easier to deal with when someone you love isn't there for an important event. 

Cheryl, thanks for saying that. It's such a difficult topic to discuss, partly because it's just not pretty or fun, but also because divorce encompasses so many variations and circumstances and realities. There's no formula for deciding whether to proceed with divorce, and no universal antidote to dealing with the pain. Sharing compassion and being open to talking and listening is the best we can do.

Trina, in all these months of knowing you on line, I don't think I ever realized your parents are divorced. It's hard for me to imagine how much stigma and social ostracism surrounded divorce 30 years ago, considering how much there still is today. There must be so many more resources, counseling, books, support groups and the like now, and much more openness to talking about the topic. Your parents had a lot working against them, and in spite of that you have so much goodness to share.

Steve, I'm really sorry to hear about your divorce. Since I know at least a bit about your faith and beliefs, I will go out on a limb and add something I didn't include in this post. I strayed quite far from God during those hardest years—I couldn't even pray about any of my pain or aimlessness. Sometimes that's just the way it is. Sometimes it's even necessary. And even during that time, I believe God was working in me and around me, through it all. I believe you can have great hope in that, for whatever is next.