They say that nobody is an atheist during a plane crash and I think that it is equally true when our children are injured. (It's also true that nobody drives the speed limit.) When the ice or cloth is removed from your child's face and his/her injury revealed - our "call to prayer" is almost always immediate: "Oh, God." 

My mother had strict rules about taking the Lord's name in vain. One day when she came running down the stairs yelling "ohmygodohmygodohmygod" I knew that something serious was going on. (My 3-year-old brother had tried to avoid taking a nap by jumping out a second story window - breaking both of his legs, an arm and concussing himself.) Thirty-two years later I can still feel the electrical charge of that day - and I wasn't even the mom!

Of course, I have been the mom in the ambulance with my injured child and nothing compares to that powerlessness. It is in those moments when we call upon whatever power in the world that we sense and put our helplessness out to the Universe and to God as a means of securing hope and if not control, at least a sense that someone else - someone strong and good and wise and kind - is in charge. 

I also find your contrasting feelings about your ex to be "normal" in this situation. He's Q's dad. He loves her fiercely and you know that he will bring her comfort and security, but his role for you has changed. He's not the person that you want to cling to when you cry, babble incoherently when you are nervous, stroke your hair and hold your hand in the waiting room. That's Jason. So your ex feels "both connected and distant." I so get it. :)

Also, may I say - arnica montana - topically and orally - best herb ever for bruising and swelling. Talk to a homeopath or someone at a natural food market or coo-op. Really. I swear by the stuff.