Roxanne, I completely get what you're saying, about truth telling as an expression of love. I guess that's what I was processing—that it might be easier at that moment to not tell my daughter the whole truth, but eventually I'll have to. If I wait too long, all those truths waiting to be told will begin piling up. I can, though, take into consideration the moment—rushing down the block to get my daughter to school on a day she is already feeling sad about other things—and make a decision to tell her by a certain time (later that day or over the weekend). Anyway, it's complicated! I guess I'm back to my original thesis!

Chuck, thanks for following up. I think I knew what you were getting at in your first post, but it never hurts to make it even clearer. The sins of omission/commission issue is a good one to think through, too.

Tracy, your perspective is such a mind-opening one to have. I only know a bit about Asperger’s Syndrome, but I can imagine how important it must be at times to dissipate, as quickly as possible, a situation that's on the verge of quickly multiplying. And this is spot on: "it seems like an emphasis is placed on not being a LIAR rather than making good choices." So true.

Trina, there is no doubt that lies can cause deep—even permanent—harm. I'm so sorry your family has had to live through and with the effects of such lies. I think this is exactly why we need to figure out how to talk to our kids about lying—not just what forms it takes, but also the ramifications it has.