Ryan, I don't know if I'd call it "brave," but thanks! I think Jason and I are just natural extroverts. We both have a lot of social energy (and I'm by myself for hours every work day, so I'm all fueled up for evenings and weekends). Now I'm just thinking more about shifting *who* we spend our "social time" with, and trying to let go of old patterns of friendship and what I think it should look like.

TJ, it's true—we don't have any trouble finding people to hang out with when we want to hang out. The problem is more internal, in my own expectations and longings around deep friendship. I'm trying to see what kind of positive shift might be taking place because we're currently lacking "best friends." Does that make sense? I don't know. I feel like I didn't explain myself very clearly in this post...but I know I'm not alone. Adults go through friendship needs/wishes/changes, too, just as you described.

JR, ah yes, the passive existence versus the proactive one. It takes effort, doesn't it? I think everyone needs and enjoys some level of social interaction and fun, but I think those who are more extroverted among us actively crave it and need it It's like realizing you need caffeine because you're starting to get a headache. If I go too long without good conversation and fun, I start to feel the side effects. 

Trina, this "less intentional" idea that I came up with doesn't really work all of the time. Or at least it doesn't always come across as clearly as I'd like. And you're right—evaluating your social life and determining what changes you need to make involves a certain intentionality. But maybe not planning out every weekend in advance allows for something unexpected to come up, like a last-minute dinner invitation, or an opportunity to run into friends you haven't seen in a while and to decide spontaneously to grab a beer. I guess I'm thinking about "less intentional" as being less planned out, and more open-ended. It's a tricky balance, and I'm hoping I can find the sweet spot.