Karen, I'm really glad you brought up the issue of love languages for people who live alone. There are so many ways to think about our need for love, and so many expressions of love. Often, particularly in our society, we get stuck in very typical, limited understandings of what love looks like. 

Arathi, you should definitely read the book. Jason and I have had so many great discussions around the ideas in the book, even about our parents, our siblings and our kids. Looking at people in terms of how they feel love is really fascinating. Regarding the gender issue, my guess is that Quality Time is a primary love language for more women than men, but I do know several men who fall into that category, and there are examples in the book of others. It's interesting, Jason really loves spending that kind of time together, it just isn't one of the main things that makes him feel loved.

Marie, HA! That's the last thing we need, more efficient-ized relationships! It might help stimulate the economy, though. My love languages, after all, don't cost anything so they don't circulate money through the economy (although we find plenty of excuses to go out for dinner or a drink, all in the name of Quality Time). And yes, I completely agree with what you said about having a "starting point," and some language to use around how we're feeling and what we need. 

Writer Dad, don't you love it when you find out there's an official name or term for something you've been doing all along? If only you had written the book, right? I'm curious, do you think you and your wife have the same primary love languages? 

Rebecca, what's so interesting is the whole reverse love language phenomenon—how we tend to express love in the way we want to feel it rather than in the way the recipient needs it. In the book, the author describes a couple that was having all sorts of problems. She was trying to show her husband love by cooking him all kinds of elaborate meals. Her love language was Acts of Service (her father's was too, and he had always felt very loved through her mom's food). This woman's husband, though, was a Quality Time guy, so while she was spending hours in the kitchen expressing her love, he just wanted her to make a simple dinner and spend more time with him sitting on the sofa. It's easy to see why so many relationships can be so frustrating, isn't it?

Ron, as I mentioned, the book definitely has transformed how I think about all of my relationships, even with my kids. And I love the idea of my readers sharing their ideas about which love languages might be missing from Dr. Chapman's list. One that I might add is Advocacy, or something along those lines. I feel very loved when I know someone is looking out for my best interests, so I don't have to.

Jeb, the great thing about working harder at speaking your wife's love language, ideally, is that it will multiply and come back to you in YOUR language. When your so-called "love tank" is full, and your wife's is full, it has the potential of turning into a crazy love fest that can't be stopped. Not that we ever get it right like that all the time, but it's worth a shot. :)