every morning past month jason have awoken sound golf balls falling from sound golf balls mind actual golf balls instead errant golfers have gangs evil squirrels throwing black walnuts down like ammunition windows open otherwise peaceful morning they thud roof house then roll down landing back porch with they bounce hoods cars driveway making wince brief storm them will suddenly hail down garage roof squirrels wrestling near large clusters nuts other sound hear wishing desperately only idyllic sounds singing birds sound extended squirrel families munching away their black walnut breakfasts their teeth make squeaky noises green outer flesh walnut like someone aggressively cleaning windowpane with glass cleaner paper towel once these rude rodents have worked their into center they begin littering inedible remains which seems about three-quarters whole package over driveway cars back porch tomato garden back yard patio furniture this sounds like freezing rain striking hard surface case you're wondering black walnuts actually green outside remarkably heavy inside tells everything need know about they their name once opened squirrel crushed black walnuts stain everything that's capable being stained like beach towel hung instance nice driveway your hands when laboriously collect debris from over yard nuts whether broken whole hurt poor children can't frolic yard with bare feet like children summertime should when it's time lawn well could something done began calling numbers tree services section yellow pages after several estimates looks like it's going cost about thorough trimming take whole thing tempted shell grand down this otherwise beautiful enormous tree shocks this recurring temptation playing through mind child relatively neighborhood dreamed living house tree-lined street played under largest tree neighborhood then wrote letter newspaper editor when tree slated down expand hospital parking trees were living creatures with personalities feelings sure it's possible read shel silverstein's giving tree many times raised respect trees though more than once family traveled through redwoods california where trees were revered photographed hugged favorite natural spot child woods northern michigan where grandparents cottage surrounded trees safe content peace years when ex-husband applied teaching position university here first thought can't live there it's surrounded corn fields there can't trees when finally highway into community first time fears were rest only there trees urbana first city state given distinction national tree city have include this overly poetic from tree city website urbana illinois enveloped thriving urban forest whose summer canopies shade town rich green hues excite city with spring pastels fall brilliance excite city indeed later with over public private community trees understand urbana leaves trees living neighborhood childhood dreams beleaf tempted take oldest tree property could methodically take mocking squirrels would gladly that instead unfortunately good enough time being plan give tree second chance life three major limbs over garage driveway other resting heavy with walnuts roof house going smaller limb hanging over middle back yard making badminton impossible will also wished good riddance then we'll whole process reminds might work toward drastic haircut first something more modest then you're love with results take deep breath 