I completely free, Kristin. A marriage is so much more about intangibles than "measure-ables" like time. Though it's not exactly the same thing, it's useful to compare it to other relationships. I am "closer" to you, for example, than I am to some people I've known for a decade or so, in that you know more about the real me and more about the current pain I'm in than some of these "old friends" do. I think there are obviously things that a longer marriage has that a shorter one simply can't. But there are things a shorter marriage has that a longer one doesn't! Si many other things weigh heavier than years, I think. The length of time spent alone or in dysfunctional relationship before the marriage probably has more to do with "comparative happiness" than number of years spent together. Whether it's a long-anticipated spouse, child or situation, we often appreciate more what we pined over. Another useful comparison is our relationship with/love for our children; I don't love my seven-year-old more than my two-year-old just because I've spent five more years with her! Those five years mean we have a different relationship than I do with my son. But one love  is not better or stronger than another. 

All this to say, perhaps thinking about your Chutes and Ladders board as truly flat, not three-dimensional is useful! :) your friend is indeed on a different part ofvthe board than you are, one place isn't "better" than another...it's all part of the experience. On this board you can jump around, slide backwards down ladders, climb up slides, skip ahead and then double back. Hell, you can bring a hammer and nails and build a new ladder, then suspend it between two slides to make monkey bars! :)