photo luis barreto grew associating church perfection predictability loved well-groomed dressed people choir matching dove grey robes singing bach hayden perfectly cadenced lord's prayer service ended promptly hour began adult tended gravitate churches predictable love madly quirkiness simultaneously anxious quirkiness yesterday morning veering sharply fidgety anxious oh-no-what-could-possibly-happen-next collection feelings church partly chaotic usual wild ride exclamation badly main reason holding breath half service casual friend acquaintance wanting visit church sitting suddenly eyes perceive eyes slightest idea sees things people sitting quirks imperfections beauty accustomed grown love suddenly harsh awkward cringe-inducing human nature defies logic love kids spouse siblings parents dearly spite quirks suddenly find situation formal exposed people suddenly endearing behaviors happy melodies fingernails chalkboard part perfect asked directly give allowances decent measures grace expect individuals collections people extended families churches adept polishing high gloss putting proper show we're sitting knowing people perfect feeling pleased successfully pretend they're perfect pretend convincingly they're putting show we're disappointed decide deeper friendship decide visit church pointing fingers knowing full sitting church morning wishing imperfect people love pretending perfect luckily back jesus love case you're wondering friend visited church morning phased quirks she's good pretending enjoy worship service people refreshing felt real feel backhanded compliment case you're wondering jesus people messed show forget clear associating church jesus perfection forget stop thankfully message loud clear congregational meeting night happened discussing future plans directions brian part fellowship decades felt compelled share experience morning's worship service made tense brian essence standing back sanctuary service observing chaos suddenly strong sense jesus church family love emailed brain share revelation blog added half minute revelation felt deep passionate love person looked felt short time chaos caused deep laughter heart lord feeling disorderliness gave fact young alike simply letting likes 