The only real perspective I have on divorce is that of my parents.  I was young when it happened, and every once in a while I look back and realize that it affected me greatly.  I would echo your point that "having a kind relationship with your ex down the road is the best thing you can do for your kids."  Unfortunately, mine did not (and still don't).  My parents have been divorced 20 years now, but because of their bad blood my father didn't attend our baby's first birthday party.  Divorce is a sad thing.  At this point, my parents are deciding for themselves how they want to handle it, and they're still making mistakes that hurt many more people than they realize.