I would love it if you wrote a follow up post, and discussed your feelings on shame a little more.  I think I'm understanding that you think shame is the evil that should be done away with.  I completely get what you're saying about the primacy of sexual sin as a monument in the lives of the unmarried.  You're right that marriage is no magic wand, and that there are many many other sins to be concerned with both within marriage and without.  I don't see how shame for that particular sin (or any sin) should hence be eliminated.  I appreciate shame, for any sin, because it is a signal to me that my life requires some examination and change, whether those changes are to let it go and quit being so scrupulous, or to really step back from the occasions that faciliate a particular sin (and I'm using the word sin so much here, because you said it was ok to do so--did I get that wrong?).

Very much enjoying the dialogue.  Thanks for putting the questions out there.