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<h5 style="padding-left: 330px;">Photo by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/people/meanestindian/">Meena Kadri</a></h5>
<strong>As the new year approaches, I've decided I will strive to live less intentionally
in 2009.</strong>

I'm sure at several points in my past I've vowed to do just the opposite. Living "more intentionally" is one of those things that seems really impressive and desirable at first glance. But what does it really mean? And what might I be missing, in the process?

What we're drawn to about intentionality, I think, is the level of implied thoughtfulness, presence and control. When you're being intentional, life isn't happening <em>to</em> you or <em>around</em> you, it's happening because you decide that it should. You can explain it, respond, and even make quick adjustments as needed, because there are fewer surprises.

When you look at <a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/intention">definitions for "intention,"</a> you see words like "goal," "objective" and "purpose" a lot, along with this sort of thing:
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em><span class="sense_break"><span class="sense_content">- a determination to act in a certain way </span></span></em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>- what one has in mind to do or bring about </em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>- a more carefully calculated plan </em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>- implications of effort directed toward attaining or accomplishing</em></p>
Of course, there's nothing wrong with any of that. <strong>There is something wrong, though, with the assumption that doing every last thing with intention always results in a more desirable, admirable life.</strong> It's time for most of us (especially us uber-logical, rational types) to compensate a bit.

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<h4>No, the opposite of "intentional" is not "random."</h4>
One way to achieve a better balance in any part of our life is to define and then embrace the <em>opposite</em> of the thing we're trying to counter. If you're too sedentary, you need to embrace some activity and exercise; if you talk too much you need to practice listening. You get the idea.

So what's the opposite of being intentional? Being random and not grounded?  It's easy to go there, but I'm starting to think about it in a different way. If being intentional involves asking "why" a lot, and knowing exactly why you are or aren't doing something, then the opposite involves <em>not</em> asking why. If we simply can't break the "why" habit, we need to start giving ourselves a different "answer"—maybe <em>just because</em> will do the trick.

Here are some typical why's for me: Why should I regularly read these certain blogs I read, and not those? Why should I call this friend to make dinner plans rather than that friend? Why should I buy this book rather than that one, or make the drive tomorrow morning rather than tonight?

The real question is, do I really need a list of rationale explaining every decision I make? Or can the so-called rationale simply be this: <em>Because it feels right. Because I'm an instinctive creature. Because I want my heart to have a say, and when I come up with smart explanations for everything, my heart gets left behind.</em>
<h4>Good things come to those who trust their instincts</h4>
When I think about the best things that have happened in my life, I realize they were guided far more by instinct than rationale. Some of the decisions that led to the best things in my life really didn't <em>make sense</em> at all.

Yet I can feel myself getting caught up in a world (particularly a professional world) that is calculated, precise, formulaic and predictable. If I want this person to consider my book, I need to make friends with these people, which means I need to do these things and write often about those topics. I need to look at market niches and target audiences and well-defined brands, and then I need to be relentless in my pursuit of whatever it is I've identified. I need, in other words, to be intentional, calculated and goal-driven or I will not succeed.

Not only does that path make me feel really tired, it also takes the joy out of my work, which ultimately causes it to backfire. It distances me from what I am drawn to, what I feel, and what I <em>sense</em> I should be doing or writing about next—<em>just because</em>. And nothing good can come from any of us moving away from that.

Here's to a less-intentional 2009. Happy New Year.