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<h5 style="padding-left: 270px;">Photo by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/people/pinksherbet/">Pink Sherbet Photography</a></h5>
When you were a kid, were you told again and again how completely unique you were? And then did the grownups say something about snowflakes or fingerprints and maybe even God "fashioning you in your mother's womb"?

<strong>I guess being completely unique is supposed to be comforting—a way of saying "You're OK, exactly the way you are. You don't have to be like so-and-so."</strong> It was a big theme in the 1970s, when I was little. I remember Sesame Street episodes about being one of a kind, and Mr. Rogers in his cardigan looking me right in the eyes, telling me how special and unique I was.
<h4>These days we're all a certain "type"</h4>
Now, in the age of personality tests, the theme seems to be "You (and thousands of other people almost exactly like you) belong to one of a handful of 'types.'"

I narrowed in a bit more on my "type" the other evening, when a friend who was at our house for dinner told Jason and I about this personality test she had recently taken. I'm usually not a sucker for online tests and quizzes, but I was intrigued by Jen's description of this particular test, the <a href="http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/dis_sample_36.asp">Enneagram RHETTI type indicator</a>. So I bit and took the 10-minute quiz. Jason did, too. Then we sat around for the next hour or two laughing, cringing, and shaking our heads in amazement over how dead-on right the results were.

First I was reading all the positive generalities, feeling warm and fuzzy toward my type (Type Seven):
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>They are bold and vivacious, pursuing what they want in life with a cheerful determination....Sevens are frequently endowed with quick, agile minds, and can be exceptionally fast learners.</em> (I'm not sure that describes me, but I like how it sounds!)</p>
Then I started reading descriptions of me that are so dead-on it's almost creepy:
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>Their thinking is anticipatory: they foresee events and generate ideas “on the fly,â€ favoring activities that stimulate their minds—which in turn generate more things to do and think about.</em></p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>Sevens are not necessarily intellectual or studious by any standard definition, although they are often intelligent and can be widely read and highly verbal. Their minds move rapidly from one idea to the next, making Sevens gifted at brainstorming and synthesizing information.</em> (That's what I do for a living!)</p>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>[Sevens] are able to pick up many different skills with relative ease.... As a result, they also do not always value their abilities as they would if they had to struggle to gain them.</em> (The story of my childhood and adolescence, for sure.)</p>
It's a very curious experience to see your "type"described in detail on some page on the Internet, and to know that the person who wrote the description has never met you (and doesn't even know you exist). It makes you feel very small and not special, while at the same time making you feel understood and more OK with who you are.
<h4>Looking those less-than-stellar traits in the eye</h4>
It's also strange to read about traits (especially negative ones) that you inherently recognize in yourself, but have never articulated. When you read those things out loud to a friend or spouse, like I did the other night, <strong>you quickly realize these "deep dark secrets"—the ones that you figure you're done a pretty good job of covering up—aren't secrets at all to the people who love you.</strong>

One of the things that's most fascinating about this test is that the results describe how your specific personality characteristics are played out when you're at your best, at your worst, and at a variety of stages in between. The reality is that the bad stuff is bad. No way around it.

But that's true for each of us, no matter what our personality type. It's not that some types are superior, while other types are destined to always struggle along through life. <strong>We each have the potential to offer wonderful contributions to the world and those around us, and we each have the potential of doing significant harm to the world and those around us.</strong>

At our worst, we all suck—in horrifying ways. To see it articulated in black and white is shocking, without a doubt. <strong>But it's freeing in a very real way, too, especially when you can read that mess out loud to people who love you.</strong> You can laugh together about it, and then hear them relay their best and worst parts.

It's not that these tests should be taken too seriously, but the good ones can offer an affirming way to know and fully embrace yourself and each other, which might help us move beyond all the pretending.