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<h5 style="padding-left: 390px;">Photos by Jason Berg</h5>
Jason and I were in Grand Rapids for a wedding this past weekend. My dear friend Carmen, who I've known since 1993, was getting married the day after her fortieth birthday.

The lucky man, Kevin, was friends with Carmen in middle school, in the eighties; after 20 years of no contact whatsoever, they rediscovered one another on Facebook last summer.

In the months leading up to the wedding, I was thrilled over Carmen's happiness. But I have to admit, I was a tiny bit concerned, too. That's what tends to happen when someone you love is about to take a big step—at least one that you feel so disconnected from.

Who is this Kevin guy, anyway? Does Carmen really know him? After living in Montana for years, how will he fit into her well-established, fast-paced New York City life? I couldn't wait to meet him, and see for myself.
<h4>Fast forward one year since I first heard Carmen talk about Kevin...</h4>
In the days leading up to the wedding weekend, I was looking forward to many things—seeing Carmen and other old friends, meeting Carmen's best friend Angie (who's become a virtual friend of mine over the past year), and just enjoying the revelries of a very fun wedding planned by a very fun person.

Meeting Kevin, though, was still what I was anticipating the most. I wanted—no, <em>needed</em>—to know more about this person, who my dear friend was choosing to join her life with. I needed to see them together.

The state fair themed wedding (yes, for real) took place on Carmen's dad's horse farm. Chairs were set up in the side yard, white rail fences surrounded the pasture, and horses threw their heads back, shaking their manes in the background. Carmen was festive, quirky and gorgeous in bright yellow; music from the 1945 Rogers and Hammerstein musical, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1110875392/tt0038116">State Fair</a>, accompanied the processional.

During the wedding ceremony, a selection of parents, siblings, and some long-time friends shared stories. Carmen and Kevin also shared their story, as a twosome. The teenage installment, as well as the events of the past year, were told in a fun, tag-team style of microphone passing and finishing one another's sentences.
<h4>And now for a twist...</h4>
When it was all said and done, I definitely learned quite a bit about Kevin. <strong>But to my surprise, I learned even more about <em>Carmen</em>, the person I was sure I already knew.</strong>

<strong>The creative, charming, talented, stylish, big-city Carmen I've known for 15 years, was suddenly rounded out and made so much more complex by the details and images unfolding before me:</strong> Little Carmen's much-despised orthopedic shoes, and her tendency to kick people in the shins when she was mad. Her fearless affection for an enormous pet boa constrictor, which she purchased with the money relatives gave her at her first communion. Her love for the outdoors and life on her dad's farm, where she helped him build a fence in the rain so she could have her own little menagerie of livestock.

The stories were upheld not only by the words, but also by the people all around me. There, at the wedding, were Carmen's parents and her sister, her high school pals and her extended set of boisterous Polish aunts, uncles and cousins. <strong>And there in the middle of it all was Carmen, the person I know and love so well—still very much that person, but also someone else, even more complete, more beautiful than I could previously comprehend.</strong>

Then there was Kevin, too—by Carmen's side. And it all made sense, in the sort of way something just <em>does</em>, when you understand the bigger picture and stop over-thinking it.

It all came together at a wedding on a farm, fun and comfortable, allowing everyone to be just who they are, from big city friends to country cousins and everyone in between. <strong>We were all brought together by the wonderful complexity of humanity, and, of course, the wonderful complexity of love.</strong>

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<h5>Carmen and Kevin, after saying their vows.</h5>
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<h5>The lovely bride trying her hand at some state fair feats of strength.</h5>
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<h5>Carmen ordering a sundae at the ice cream stand.</h5>