photo eliazar monday torrential thunderstorm swooped area minutes exiting suddenly arrived jason's softball game canceled rain long picked cream beer friends house porch talked kids played night kids good friend called found close friend committed suicide comfort friend struggled wondered tuesday walked street school grade celebration ceremony mind fact firstborn leaving elementary school good preparing internally middle school ways catch glimpses mind naturally gravitated started kindergarten weeks moved house embarked single parenting five- three-year-old yesterday lifetime tuesday evening girls stepdaughter made to-do jason's birthday celebration wondered found life wednesday friend funeral grandfather knew friend evening describe meet aunts uncles cousins half siblings knew existed knew existed thousand thoughts flew head blood family strangers exists thursday moved president obama's historic speech cairo egypt calling beginning united states muslims world convinced order move forward openly things hold hearts closed doors sustained effort listen learn respect seek common ground obama easier start wars easier blame easier find things share choose path easy path rule lies heart religion friday today maeve walk heard neighbor practicing flute bowl cereal paid bills biked office girls finish school groceries start things ready weekend camping trip today hold idea week hold monday morning told answer phone surprised thoughts minds gripping hearts moment 