Writer Dad, you definitely cut to the heart of it: "When we disagree, we understand ourselves and others better." I tend to become friends with people who find good debate a lot of fun. When there's a lot of warmth between two people, I personally think it feels like a safer place to disagree; when I'm commenting on a blog written by someone I've never really interacted with before, I find I'm much more careful/less free.

Naomi, what a super perceptive thing to do—identifying the buttons within you that are being pushed when you feel defensive. That sounds like the definition of maturity, to me! Maturity is also connected to the practice of "saving face," which connects to Writer Dad's reference to manners. Very interesting.

Jason, yes, the loose ends left when someone who jumped into the conversation just disappears can be frustrating. I never expect people to respond to one post more than once, which is what's required for a true debate or conversation, but it's very fulfilling when it happens. 

Rebecca, since you love disagreement, I will try to disagree with you more often. :)  It just might be difficult, as we seem to see eye to eye on many matters. But seriously, you seem to be very open and NOT defensive on your blog, which I'm sure does so much to get people talking and build up the conversation.

Meredith, this is super smart: "Social media, like anything else online or in life, is as good as you make it or as bad as you make it. It’s not fool-proof and sure, it’s not perfect, but so few things in life are. Disregarding something (like social media) because of the potential for something bad also means you’re missing the potential for something good." I'm pretty talented at imagining all of the potential bad in things. In small doses, that sort of realism can be helpful, but I'm trying to leave more room for the good.

Trina, ahh, constructive, clear disagreements! If everyone aimed for that, we'd all probably be much more likely to disagree, wouldn't we? I also like that you differentiated between "what is said" and "how it is said."  So important. That's often the wild card within social media—the lack of facial expressions &amp; inflections.