photo chris moewes husband separated bought book jonathan franzen kind funny read franzen's earlier work buying practical how-to guide give strategies drawn title idea concept learn mind extrovert doubt energized people thinking loud sharing ideas essentially lived years husband moved knew learn business things learned lonely things greatest fear divorce fear loneliness quickly discovered distant marriage lonelier defined isolated ways hand divorce quitting real freelancing cultivated affection ways embrace moments tips category lonely opportunity identify moments week kids incident occurred tuesday jason entertaining clients town evening girls single parent mode tuesday tired usual school hours stretched dusk darkness girls bickered needed snacks rides piano lessons interrupted repeatedly questions math homework crocheting projects finish blog post busied scissors glue paper yarn turning serene living room quite opposite eventually made clear button-pushing tears hungry jason home moment rescue taking kitchen taking kids memories single parenting unpleasant dousing water situation required adults hands authoritative voices hurts technically needed months girls younger needed kind aloneness felt recognizing what's undeniably lacking overwhelming moment camaraderie realization side moral support roll eyes sarcastic commiserate deep breath forge ahead frustrated annoyed suddenly realized room understood felt lonely table evening sitting restaurant louis eating dinner long traveling client meetings eating public curious activity people time you're married children rarely travel business eating meal takes time riding bike time spring skills balance feel instantly back putting brand-new pair cowboy boots time feels stiff slightly constrictive feel self-conscious quite movements perception happen cowboy boots worked dude ranch colorado summer true eating activity driving biking walking strange sitting park book dance crowded club yard work shopping tourist movies concerts longed deconstruct experience feel strange eating meal nearby younger discomfort eating centered worrying restaurant thinking feel imagine friends honestly eating thinking thinking chief beauty growing older thinking thoughts swirling head naturally free automatic response fork mouth food words eating inherently communal dinner guess crowded restaurant order room service people hearing conversations plate food front thoughts head lonely good identify personal tipping points good question dinner figure feel confused feeling confused 