think sucker nostalgia before technically enough experience retrospect seems like subconsciously crafting good portion childhood experiences simply nostalgia fodder loved stories child loved embellishing re-tellings playground dramas recalling most perfect aspects every family vacation holiday would start sentence with remember that great hike took into grand canyon brother would respond with yeah water hours before made back thought were going have lifted memories involve whole family singing peter paul mary songs bill remembers time shoebox full games colored pencils treasures left roof watched through back window station wagon tumbled spilled over road guess revisionist historian early luckily avid photographer there were always plenty kodak moments captured film back rosy memories takes pictures when you're dehydrated hiking steep canyon path when child's treasures spilling along highway such luck child with nostalgia necessary fodder fully expected continue down that path through college into marriage course through parenthood college involved reading literature commons lawn with liberal christian-hippy friends then jumping impromptu game frisbee early marriage going rustic camping trip having friends over dinner wine very cool appropriately simple century-old apartment with just effort denial life could parsed into series those slow-motion music-accompanied interludes often middle movie when things their happiest peak usually right before some major tragedy complication enters picture surprisingly tragedy complication life didn't suddenly enter picture there along being held back part idealism nostalgia reality that went through childhood confused about supposed according parents whoever later christian college plenty friends certainly could fake happy scenes with some success there always underlying feeling quite belonging matter with matter trying wasn't completely home life which extended first marriage which contributed divorce were young didn't even know ourselves alone each other plenty common half those traits interests were able check ideal mate lists were there first place only perpetuate time said done much friends husband home couple churches sense security god's love perfect child performance enacted parents other acts that along with nurturing life nostalgia painful each layer perhaps most difficult layer shed addiction nostalgia itself everything else stuck painfully like enormous bandage word nostalgia dates back mid-seventeenth century formed greek words nostos which means returning home algos which pain longing while originally used describe longing someone's native land today most would describe deep ache yearning lost time place other words that come mind when think about tendency toward nostalgia include melancholy bitter-sweet idealistic romantic those words still make feel cozy strange sick it's difficult find anything past actually long value those painful heart-wrenching experiences because know they were necessary order bring place wholeness peace moment certainly don't pine those times don't think fondly them stare into campfire walk idly along leafy sidewalk autumn those days over beginning think letting idea nostalgia final step least when comes this particular challenge blessed husband work love church community full people don't expect perfection embrace process involved following want focus moment that's addiction must have nowstalgia challenge because there seems always will fall into similar trap letting nowstalgia slip back into nostalgia comfort zone mean have actual experiences moments that don't need edited revised beautiful have true nostalgia fodder treasure remember contain doesn't creep block view late last night transferring photo library macbook took long detour through photos jason took honeymoon last summer greece truly picture-perfect trip every able recognize that while photos treasured they should simultaneously held slight suspicion that's when were camping last weekend made dash through rain camera whole family crowded under drippy tarp eating hotdogs beans praying that rain would stop long enough tent only capture different kind memory managed drop rain camera lens which blurred center every photo took next yeah that's frustrating stuff trying accept that there's perfectly choreograph life family five weather other things completely control much more able than years enjoy humor value life-lessons embedded imperfections because pretty sweet after good story life make 