Betty, thanks for following up. I'll have to think about this a bit more—a follow up post is a great idea. 

I wonder if maybe I don't have a problem with the idea of "shame," but perhaps with the word, which is so often directed towards children ("shame on you!") and dogs. :) And maybe when the word "shame" used in connection to sex and sexuality, it makes me particularly worry about all of the damage that can do later on. 

I do appreciate this thought, though: "[shame] is a signal to me that my life requires some examination and change..." Can we come up with a word that's better than "shame," though? "Guilt," as a word, has its own problems, but it seems more introspective to me, while "shame" seems more often directed from one person to another.  Maybe we should make up a new word! Christians could use some new words. So many of the old ones have too much baggage.