Jason, that's such a good point—part of what we're doing by creating boundaries and maintaining control truly is for our kids' safety, but another part of it is clearly about us, as parents. We want to feel in control for peace of mind, even if it's a peace of mind that's often false. You've inspired me to begin asking myself in these situations "How much of this is about my kids, and how much of it is about me?"

Trina, this is a truth to keep in mind: "Our children are capable, and need to re raised as capable." A big part of my job, as a mom, is to bolster the confidence my kids need to tackle problems rather than panic when plans go awry. 

TJ, your story about chasing the bus made me laugh and want to cry at the same time! I can SO imagine myself in the same situation, feeling desperate to rescue my daughter from the sadness/embarrassment/disappointment of not having her lunch. Part of the reason I still pack my kids' lunches rather than having them do it themselves is that it serves as this point of connection and care in the middle of the day. But you're right—we can only do so much. There is good and bad that goes with freedom.

Jeb, I'm sure you're not a control freak! :) You point out something really important, though. As parents, I'm sure none of us would argue with the fact that we regularly learn a lot about ourselves and life through parenting. But it's so natural to think we should hide that process from our kids, and pretend like we have everything under control. I love how you put this: "Recognizing that we have as much to learn from them as they do from us. And making sure they know it."

Dave, yes, parenting is a great occupation for those who love subtly and are adept at creating balance. :) Unfortunately, you also have to be quick at the draw. So many of those moments, when you need to draw lines, are presented in an instant (often a stressful instant). That's the part that's a challenge for me.

Writer Dad, "release the hand, a single finger at a time" is a lovely way to think about it. Thanks for the compliment, too. Our parenting efforts often go unrecognized by our broader community, don't they?

Margot, I'm glad you found my blog, and that I could "talk you down" from your worries about your daughter! I admire any parent with teenage kids—especially those going on adventures to far-off lands. I know that day will come for me, and I'm not sure I will respond as bravely as you. (It's exciting to think about what an amazing experience this trip will be for your daughter, though, isn't it?)