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I woke up this morning feeling really grouchy about Columbus Day.

Sure, there's the controversial part of it—what exactly should Columbus be remembered for, should we be celebrating him as a national hero, etc. As the <a href="http://www.history.com/minisite.do?content_type=Minisite_Generic&amp;content_type_id=196&amp;display_order=3&amp;mini_id=1044">history.com website</a> says, "Singularly focused on his mission to find riches and conquer new lands, Columbus and his teams treated the indigenous groups they came across as obstacles to their greater mission." There's nothing to celebrate in that, as far as I'm concerned.

But I have to admit, it wasn't the humanitarian side of me rearing its righteously angry head this morning. It was pure selfishness. The real reason for my baditude was the fact that the kids wouldn't be going to school today at all. It's one thing to have the banks closed on a questionable holiday. It's another thing to disrupt my productive Monday. I wanted to blame someone, so why not Columbus?

This is one of the many mixed blessings of parenthood. (See also my related post <a href="http://www.halfwaytonormal.com/?p=39">"Feast or famine."</a>) The family together-time, like we enjoyed all weekend, can be so lovely. But then suddenly you cross a line, and lovely togetherness becomes extreme togetherness. Everyone desperately needs a break.  The girls need space from each other, to reestablish their individual identities. Jason and I need to remember what it's like to be individuals, too, rather than just "Mama" or "Dad."

Spending lots of time alone was one of the things I feared most about freelancing when I was transitioning from a "real job" to my own gig. I've grown really dependent on that quiet, thinking, writing time, though. It's a fine thing to crave, but when I sense it interfering with what could otherwise be seen as parenting pleasures, I need to put it in its place. That's why I decided to do an attitude check on myself this morning. In the process of practicing positive thinking, I easily arrived at four things to be grateful for about a day with no school:

<strong>1. An excuse to let go.</strong> This is something I learned to embrace when Q, my first, was a tiny baby. There were many aspects of parenting a newborn that required letting go, but breastfeeding was the most significant. It didn't matter what I thought I was going to accomplish in a day, or when I planned to have dinner on the table. When it was time to feed Q, I had to let go of all my other goals and plans. I couldn't just prop her up with a bottle, or try to multi-task while breastfeeding (although I did try a few times). I quickly accepted I just had to sit down, hold her, and let her eat her fill. That's all that was required of me just then. What a gift those blocks of time were. I was able to look at this school-less day a bit like that, appreciating it as an excuse to let go of my endless work-related to-do list.

<strong>2. Practicing spontaneity.</strong> Maybe it seems like a contradiction, but I think spontaneity can (and should) be practiced—especially on an out-of-the-ordinary day without a clear schedule or purpose. This morning, when we dropped H off at a friend's house, the two younger girls and I ended up staying for an hour or so, too. All four girls played together, while the other mom and I took a walk and had a really refreshing, meaningful conversation. I needed that today more than I needed time to crawl inside myself.

<strong>3. Diversifying my definition of work.</strong> I could easily read and write most of the day, limiting my definition of "work" to what's done in my head, at a computer. But I know how unhealthy that is. Parenting forces me to exercise other parts of my mind and body. For my mind, a different kind of problem solving and communication is called for. For my body, when we need a change of scene, I get everyone on their bikes to go to the park or library, or I drag them outside to help me with some project in the yard. And on a random day without school or plans, I can go out to the garage and put another coat of paint on our kitchen cabinets, while the kids play outside.

<strong>4. Savoring simple pleasures.</strong> Although I woke up wishing I had organized playdates or activities for all three of the girls, there is something rare and rich about an unplanned day. It allows for unexpected simple pleasures. S, for instance, happily whiled away an hour researching and then creating a habitat for the grasshopper she caught this morning. She was captivated, and I was her happy, observant audience. Q stretched out on the couch with a good book and her favorite blanket; not many everyday moments are more satisfying than that. And then we all sat down to enjoy grilled cheese and tomato soup for lunch—a treat that just doesn't work in a lunchbox on a school day, and one I never make for only myself. The combination of tastes somehow triggered my own nostalgia for the simple pleasure of a day without school, and I realized I wasn't feeling grouchy about it any more.

(Oh, and I also had a conversation with the kids about the complexities of "celebrating" Columbus Day. Sometimes, as a parent in the moment, that's the most important little-big thing we can do.)

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