Trina, thanks! What I'm curious to find out, hopefully through the comments, is whether my experience with this is typical or very much dependent on my personality type, etc. Do other people feel an emptiness when they don't have a "best friend?" Are the categories I made up from my own experience universal, or do they only work for certain people? It will be interesting to find out.

Zoe, yes! I often feel overwhelmed by a situation, but when I take the time to outline it or diagram it, much of the perceived complexity isn't really there. (You're a pro at that!) I can also relate to living in a transient community, although it's a very different type than what you're experiencing. I live in a university town, so an unusually large percentage of people here don't intend to stay for more than a few years. To make matters worse, it's in the Midwest, which means many people are going out of their way to find a reason to move to either coast. (I, however, am a fan of the Midwest.) Anyway, it's hard to meet new friends and already know their time here is limited. I find myself holding back so I won't get too attached.

TJ, you are lucky to have an immediate and extended family you feel so bonded to. My husband is definitely my number one best friend, and I feel very grateful for that. If I lived in the same town as my brother and/or my husband's sister, they would easily fit in that category, too. Unfortunately, though, people have a way of moving around and making their homes in new places, so it's hard to count on family ties for day-to-day friendship.

Joy, that's absolutely right—each friend brings a unique component to your life. I guess that suggests that even a new "category 1" friend can't quite replace an old one. My daughter will have another "best friend" some day, but she won't fill the same hole L will leave. And this is so true: "Life can be rich and full, yet your heart can feel a bit empty."