I agree that as a society we are concerned about appearances and hypocrisy and judgment do exist, on a generalized scale and personal ones. But like most over-generalizations, the reason we don't see the other side is that those efforts are not usually broadcast. The examples of caring and compassion with all the "the negative stuff that goes on behind closed doors," happen "behind closed doors."  Pain is private in our culture. When we are in pain or difficulty, we go into protection mode, which means we escape from public view. Again, while it may appear that many are judgmental, if you look at specific people dealing with specific individuals, you may see most people will connect humanly and humanly, no matter what.