photo jasonedward kids grow older decided teaching commitment sticktuitiveness hardest things parenting playing board game you're lose writing entire story great idea stick violin piano long level difficult attitudes engender tend deal jason talk relation girls things love hate activities work hard give written topic malcolm gladwell's book outliers fascinating article read issue yorker secret control article tells study researchers conducted late attempting measure control preschool aged children percent children involved study demonstrated ability delay gratification kids wrestled temptation found resist article's author jonah lehrer writes words kids find ways cope situations make work life study demonstrates children greater success academically socially fewer behavior problems deal stress parent reading discussing article gladwell's theories bottom line kids born intelligence natural talent physique life amount time effort things ability avoid distractions temptations smart nurture great kids super kids turn kids single-minded people fabulously excel thing young learn cope life's challenges navigate tight turns pitfalls gain great satisfaction things love contributing world earn college scholarships make money college support what's parent's role tactic method true tough love involves wielding parental authority telling kids choice good make stick piano amount time hoping they'll find they're good love hate make soccer practices feel wanted play soccer team counting make finish knitting project started feel sense accomplishment closure hundred unfinished craft projects lying house remember parents enforcing rules situations backfired played chess sewing machine scenarios made angry time years we're glad learned read music play piano camp sort piano lessons straight years hating minute practicing parents agreed stop wanted approach guess music important part life piano lessons laid foundation music making lessons practicing chore discipline tapped love music drawn power source work required balance discipline tapping desire figure girls finish seventh grades demanded teachers coaches peers inspire work hard they're forced where's fine line discipline desire nurture part desire aspect rooted discipline reach goal motivates time play piece piano beethoven journey remember top- hits piano books lightly time knit wear moment piece -piece puzzle sense satisfaction accomplishment addictive part finding things excite draw variety personality traits skills speculate great violist worked harder stop happy fulfilled committing time energy viola love playing music improvise play guitars mandolins singers read music symphony love writing discovered child claimed gradually worked years natural desire motivation works helps role parent slightly task master rule enforcer encourager guide sherpa mentor counselor discover aspects they're good find activities pursuits make they're talk working hard versus quitting important stick longer times decide practice difficult parenting move standing back waiting 