Oh, where to start? First, yes, gorgeous smiling couple! Wowza. 

Next, we never had divorce affect our family, my husband's or mine, until this year. I know that sounds strange. Nearly all of our college friends are children of divorce. My sister is the one going through it and we simply don't know what to do or say. But clearly none of us thinks one more year would make a difference; that time would heal the gaping wounds the couple has. We don't think  a month or two could make it all better, dissolve the pain, undo the damage.

We also don't think they are "losers,' having slid back down the slide to the beginning.  In fact it's not a competition at all. But, I do see where that idea could rear its head. As I read this piece I couldn't help separate two main ideas, one being time and the other this idea of failure. 

As for time, my husbands' grandparents were married 50 years and they practically hated each other. We'd joke about it, but they were down right nasty. They hadn't shared a bedroom in over 20 years when I met my spouse. 

Having a "failed" marriage is tough enough, I assume, without the added pressure of comparing your experiences to those of your peers. But we still do it. Am I better because I stayed married longer to the same person; are you less worthy? Clearly not. 

I like what Dave writes above (esp. the butt brush :). He measure the success of his relationship with the quality of time he spends with his partner. (Meh, I can't believe I just typed that.) And that he is actively seeking ways to express that love. I have found that when we do that, the other is more willing to reciprocate and both find fulfillment that lasts well beyond their fabulous second annivesary. 

Peace.