I have a plan for the Love List Project—at least for the time being.
In the next month or so, I’m going to stop writing a Love List post every Friday, and will instead move the project to its own tab here at Halfway to Normal. You’ll be able to access all Love List posts, find links to posts others have published on their blogs, and we can continue to update and support one another in the comments section there.
As we move toward that transition, I’m eager to hear from more of you. I’ve already invited some people to write guest posts; their perspectives have really added depth and breadth to the project. Now I’ve decided I’d also like to include some interviews. Being asked questions, directly, always makes me think more about the “why” and the “how” behind the day-to-day “what.” It helps me connect the dots, and see the bigger picture more clearly.
And that’s the kind of clarity I’d like to see around our Love Lists. I don’t want them to just be lists that make us feel warm and fuzzy. I want them to be action items—guides that help inform how we live.
Let the interviews begin!
I have already lined someone up for next week’s interview: A woman who was making important life decisions based on who she is and what she loves, long before she started keeping a Love List.
But here are some questions for you to ponder, too. If you feel like responding to just one or two questions right here in the comments section, I’d love that. If you feel like you have a bigger story somehow tethered to your Love List, please let me know, and I will get in touch with you.
OK. The questions:
1. Think back to a time when your day-to-day life was markedly different in some way than it is today. What made it different? How did you feel about it? What did you enjoy/not enjoy about it?
2. Can you think of any pivotal moments, when you knew you had to change something negative or claim something important to you? What happened in that moment, that made it pivotal?
3. Even though you probably weren’t creating a formal Love List at the time, when you look back, when were major life decisions impacted and driven by what you love most in life? When did you find yourself setting aside what you loved?
4. What does your life look like today? Better, worse or just different? What’s responsible for making it better/worse/different?
5. How does compromise come into play? (What have you given up, and what have you gained? How do you know you’re making the right choices?)
6. What kinds of things have been showing up on your Love List these days?
7. How might you make real changes in your life, based on what you love?
8. Do you have any wisdom or advice to share with others?
Thanks for your involvement in the Love List Project. I can’t wait to hear from you!
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
I will take on 4 of these
5. How does compromise come into play? (What have you given up, and what have you gained? How do you know you’re making the right choices?)
I compromise things that I am less passionate about for things that I am more passionate about. Given up? Watching TV Gained? Less commercial ads running through my head.
6. What kinds of things have been showing up on your Love List these days?
Lots of new women.
7. How might you make real changes in your life, based on what you love?
I look at passion above love… (more on that another time) and that is what I follow.
8. Do you have any wisdom or advice to share with others?
Wisdom? Aim for the infinite 1 step at a time.
Kristin,
I know I’ve been a bit of a “no show” around here recently, although I’ve still been very much thinking about the love list and what that means in my life – in big and small ways.
5. This is a tough one. I love my kids very much (they are way high on the love list). So, I sometimes sacrifice other things on my love list – to see them experiencing what they love. It may be something that I wouldn’t necessarily choose to do, yet I do, because I know it brings them much joy.
6. On my love list (and not reported on twitter…hmmm…I should work on that): it’s really been very much a connection to soul that has been on my love list for the last month. And a lot of that is coming through connections with others, that just deepens my own connection to my soul.
8. Love list: I really think it’s about looking within (and that often is taking time to do that) and seeing what really connects. I could say I love a cup of coffee in the morning (I do). When I look deeper, it’s much more than that. It’s sipping that coffee, letting the smell fill the air, finding a moment of peace, finding warmth on a cold Wisconsin day and more – warming my soul as I also let the peace of the moment enter. I think when we look a bit deeper, those things which we love have some deeper meaning. And that’s what I really think the love list is about – connecting to something deeper within.
Kristin, know that I have so deeply appreciated everything that has been written about the love list, all that you have done to create this concept and nurture it along. Anything I can do to support this, know that I will…
I almost can’t read these. How goofy is that? Some of them bring a pang to my heart and I want to pass over it…I will ask myself these over this holiday break because I think you are so on to something here. Best!
Tom, I can relate to the benefits of not watching TV. I stopped watching TV in college, mostly because I didn’t have one around, and then I never started again. We rent movies and TV series from Netflix, so it’s not like we’re completely free of that influence, but it’s so nice to not have it just sitting there, waiting to be turned on. When we have some down time (the kids included), we read, bake, play games, knit, etc. I think that really adds to our quality of life.
Lance, thanks so much for your support all along for the Love List Project. I can relate to so much of what you’re saying here. As a parent, there’s always the joy we take in on our own, and the joy we take in seeing our kids’ joy. It can be a really difficult thing to balance—I often end up feeling guilty when I’m enjoying something purely for me, but if I’m focusing everything on my kids I can start feeling sorry for myself! Ugh. I can also relate to this: “it’s really been very much a connection to soul that has been on my love list for the last month. And a lot of that is coming through connections with others, that just deepens my own connection to my soul.” Think we’re extroverts? :)
Jennifer, yeah, that pang to the heart kind of tells you something important is happening, doesn’t it? Thanks for pondering these questions alongside me. I’ll look forward to hearing what you discover about yourself and your life in all the digging.
I’ll try my best…
3. One of the things that has really propelled me to where I am today is that I wasn’t happy, knew I wasn’t happy and then did something about it. Over the last five years or so, there’s been a lot of change in my life – some good, some bad, but most of the “big” moments happened when I knew I needed something more. In retrospect, I’d probably say it was because I wasn’t doing what I loved and so I took a chance. My decision to move back home, to go to grad school, to accept the job I have – all were driven by things that I love (though I didn’t always recognize it at the time).
4. I definitely think my life is better from one, two, three, etc. years ago and though it might sound like I’m sucking up to the teacher, I do honestly think the Love List is partly responsible. I’m much more aware of what I’m thinking and feeling throughout the day, much more aware of the things that really mean something to me and therefore, I’m much more compelled to actively choose to make the things I love a part of my life on a regular basis.
6. If you read my Love List from just the past month (and not the list in its entirety), you’d think I was so kind of Christmas crazy person. So much of my list has to do with the start of winter and the holidays, partly because it’s my favorite time of year and partly because it brings up some many powerful and happy memories that it’s hard not to entwine the two.
7. One of the things I noticed about my Love List is how I need to be active about including these things in my life on a regular basis. Knowing that I love x, y or z, I feel much more purposeful – I have the goal of including this or that into my day-to-day schedule and even if I don’t always succeed, I have something to strive for.
8. Don’t overthink it. (?)
I’m reading #2 now with new eyes. I need to write about a pivotal moment that recently happened. It was in that one moment that I realized there really was no love… only fear. I’ve been waking up daily since then forcing myself to choose love over fear. Most days I win. Today, I woke up feeling anxious. Then I read #2 and feel like it’s a good time to write the fear away.