Today, as I was checking out the two dozen or so blogs I read regularly these days (and thinking again how I need to get some link love going on my site), I had this conversation with myself. It was rapid-fire, the way conversations in your head can be.
Me 1: I love how much I learn about myself when I’m reading other people’s blogs.
Me 2: Nice. So everyone else’s blogs are all about you, too?
Me 1: That’s not what I mean!
Me 2: But that’s what it sounds like, so don’t bring it up. People will get the wrong idea.
I thought about it some more, though, and decided this: I hope my blog is all about all of you. Sure, I write about myself a lot, because those are the stories I know best. But I hope those stories help you think about your own life in different ways. That’s what first-person writing is all about. Let’s be honest—you aren’t reading my blog because you really want to know everything about me. How dull. No, you’re hoping you might find out something about yourself. Reading personal narratives is like going to the therapist, but free, and you don’t have to worry about parking.
So with that in mind, I’m going to share with you a few things I learned about myself, thanks to a few others.
Lesson 1: I need to stop blaming the people around me and focus on creating the world I want.
I was reading this post by Magpie Girl yesterday, and it gave me an opportunity to ask myself, What Would Kristin Do? In the post, Magpie Girl writes about recently visiting the Pantheon in Rome, which was filled with noisy tourists. Even when a choir began filling the awesome space with Gregorian chants, the people kept jabbering away. So WWKD? I would sit there and simmer angrily, glaring at people and wondering how they could be so resistant to quiet moments of wonder and awe. In other words, I would allow the world around me to dictate the kind of experience I was going to have. Not cool. It’s something I need to work on. (In case you’re wondering, that’s not how Magpie Girl responded.)
Lesson 2: I need to laugh more and clench my teeth less.
Sure, times are stressful. There’s a lot to worry about, as both presidential candidates reminded us several times in last night’s debate. But times full of worry don’t call for less laughter, they call for more. We don’t need to give Worry the same respect we give Death at a funeral. Sometimes we need to laugh in its face. It was the blog of my poet friend Aaron Belz that reminded me of this today. He’s amazingly thoughtful and funny, proving that poetry can be both. Life can be, too. (Make sure you scroll down enough to read all three of his most recent poems: “pennies,” “beard, beard,” and “debate results,” which had me laughing into my computer enough that people at the cafe were looking.)
Lesson 3: I need to keep learning, but also engage in the conversation now, even before I get it all figured out.
Because the figuring it all out part isn’t going to happen. I wrote about this a couple of weeks ago in Post-polite post on digging deeper, and I was inspired to ponder it again from a slightly different angle when I read this post on Dagny’s Empire. It really isn’t a post about full freezers as much as it’s a post about White Privilege, and how most people just don’t get that concept. What I learned from Dagny is that, well, I’ve got a lot more to learn about many of the topics I like to think and blog about. I need to read as much as I can. But she also affirmed this: Achieving change requires open dialogue. And we can’t wait until we have it all figured out to have those conversations. That’s like waiting until you have life figured out to have children—a sure strategy for negative population growth.
Anyway, thanks Magpie Girl, Aaron, and Dagny, for helping me learn some important things about myself. I hope I can return the favor here, from time to time.
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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
You’re welcome. Actually when I first clicked over to your blog from Neil’s, I read through several posts including the one on stereotypes. I was not offended. I got what you were saying. Every now and then a thought enters my mind and then I have to remind myself that I am buying into a stereotype. I try hard not to do it because I don’t want others to do that with me. And now I have skimmed the piece from the British psychiatrist (I had to look him up.) that’s in the comments.
Here’s a thought. The reason why blacks (Yes, this is the preferred term in my family.) have wanted an apology because there is a hope that then there will be a chance to have a real dialogue of what this has meant over the centuries. When I hear someone ask, “Why do we have to talk about slavery at all?” what I hear is, “I am not willing to admit that over 100 years since the end of slavery that I as an individual may still benefit from it on a daily basis.”
What I love about blogging is the ability to interact with one’s audience. And I must admit that I have had a number of posts that were born from reading something that someone else has written.
Thanks for the interaction, Dagny, and for giving us more things to think about.
Speaking of interaction, this seems like a perfect opportunity for some of you to share with the rest of us. Tell us something you’ve learned about yourself from reading other people’s stories. Who knows—maybe your responses will become a whole new post! (Yes, I’m being a little bit lazy, but mostly I really just want to hear from you.)
Kristin,
Thanks for reaching out. It is always a gift to come across kindred spirits. Love your blog banner. I look forward to hear of your story.
Paz y esperanza,
Eliacin
Thanks, Eliacin. It’s good to have you here. I’m also very glad I found your blog (and I happen to be a big fan of your banner, too).
Peace and hope to you.
Kristin
I couldn’t agree with you more. Sometimes I learn just how lucky I am in my life something I have a hard time seeing or certainly did up until recently.
Sometimes I learn how to cope better and get an enormous amount of strength from other’s bravery in the face of enormous obstacles