Getting a taste of real love at the well

by Kristin on August 16, 2011

in Belief, doubt & hope

Photo by Yortw

I am taking a short sabbatical from my blog, but I had a guest post commitment to fulfill over at The Seed Company, so the other day I sat down to write. The post, Getting a Taste of Real Love at the Well, is all about that very particular way we see, know and love our children, and how we always long to be loved in that way—for who we are, for who we aren’t, and for who we could be.

Here’s an excerpt:

I was ready for bed but knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep until I wrote letters to my daughters.

They are 13 and 11, and earlier in the day we had a Big Talk about “commitment” and “working hard.” At the time, I just wanted to instill in them the importance of pushing through things that are challenging. I wanted them to see that the life skills learned in the process are even more important than the outcome—playing the cello well, or getting a good cross country meet time.

As the evening wore on, however, I began to worry that what they heard instead was, “I want you to be a great cellist,” “I want you to be a great runner,” “I will love you more if you do well at these things, and I will be disappointed in you if you don’t.”

I, of course, did not say those things, but we often hear between the lines. Those were the last messages I wanted my daughters to walk away with. I would bet, however, that many of us grew up feeling that way: That we didn’t measure up. And that being loved was directly connected to measuring or not measuring up. It is an easy enough conclusion to come to, so as the night wore on, my parental worry wore me down. …

I hope you’ll head over to The Seed Company’s site to read the rest and see what else they’re up to.

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