Photo by Kevin Collins
Jason’s been out of town a lot lately, so I’ve kicked it into single-mom survival mode.
I was a true single parent for three years, but now when I’m on my own, I get so wimpy! It never ceases to amaze me. Clearly I’ve been spoiled by times of plenty—these past three years with Jason, who cooks and plays games with the kids, who backs me up and gives me that “girl, I so know how you feel right now” and “it’s all going to be OK” looks.
Without Jason’s rich resources at hand, I’ve shifted into lean mode. The girls and I edit down our afternoons and evenings to only what is simple and necessary: food, hygiene and love. We walk the dog together. Q works on a project for school while S helps me make soup. After baths, we snuggle into my bed and I read to them, like I used to when they were younger.
Economic and emotional recessions
I’m no economist, but it strikes me that there’s some economic principals at play here. Do we have emotional economies?
With so much news about the economic recession we’re in, I’ve been thinking about human nature and how we behave during times of plenty versus what we tend to do when times get tough. It really mirrors how I approach my emotions. When Jason is here, for instance, I’m flush with emotional resources for parenting. I can spend with abandon, confident that I won’t run out. We enjoy making more complex dinners, venture out on more outings, follow more whims. For the most part, complexities don’t concern me—I embrace them.
When I’m parenting on my own, I conserve my emotional resources. We keep it simple, trimming away all of the frivolous, unnecessary steps we often work into our days. Instead, I look at the big picture, focus in on the most important emotional expenses, and budget my resources for them. After all, at any minute I might find myself in a really tight spot, and will need to dip into my reserves.
There’s a time to conserve and a time to spend
I don’t know much about the true science of economics—if Jason was here, I’d have him explain it to me, and point out the fallicies in my theory (but then again, if Jason was here, I wouldn’t have thought to write this post!). But does this make some sense, in relation to your life? Have you gone through periods of emotional recessions? Are there times you conserve your emotions, and times you spend with abandon?
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